By the time you get to this stage in your communication, you are almost reflexively in a position to Respond.  I don't need to go over all of the little bumper sticker reminders about the value of responding as opposed to reacting.  But if we are conscious of the steps that have preceded respond, reacting is not going to fall into the formula whatsoever. 

Let me give you an example. You have come to the meeting and learn to just see, observe, and watch the person who you're with come to you. You have made an observation of their body language, their facial expression, the speed of their gait, and all of the variables set within that process.  Then you've taken in their energy. You sat with them for a moment. You stood side to side or facing one another and you've begun to since their feelings in just through the little things about their posture and their presentation. You have taken a deep breath into their experience, and intern can experience their energy and their demeanor.

You have connected with them based on the two states of observation you have just passed through. And your connection is placed with more accuracy, more compassion, and a greater sense of consideration of their condition at this moment. And your connection, through whatever words you choose, will have a better chance at expressing the kind of sentiment that is most appropriate for this particular encounter.  You have assessed. You have listened and you have taken the information in accordingly, formulating one or many possible conclusions that have now the potential for greater accuracy in appropriateness has applied to all of the components within this conversation up to this point.

And now there is no chance for reaction. You have guaranteed yourself, by walking through these steps, that you will respond with calm, ease, and thoughtful communication. You will better understand the meaning behind the message, and the depth of the sentiment within the expression. You will come through with empathy, offering a deeper understanding of the persons feelings, attitude, emphasis, and priority within their issue. It is within this context that a response becomes effortless. You were speaking from a center of steady, engaged attention.

Remember, that the preceding steps to this process assist with quieting any pre-judgment or preconceived attitudes that may cloud your perceptions of the individual and the message in that moment. Because you have the prerequisite steps accomplished, responding comes from a new place within you. It is not set aside your experience; rather, it suspends your judgment. Your response is as a result of addressing this experience as an individual and unique event. The data may be the same, but the incident in the presentation is not. Every moment is different, every day has new challenges. Even though the context may be the same, the variables that can modify a message are too numerous to count. It is this consideration that helps you bring forth a newness and an inviting openness to every encounter. Your response underscores the spirit of your willingness to address each issue uniquely on its own merit.

For more information on Ed and his services visit  https://www.acoachforyourheart.com/