In this episode, Allen and Torri discuss why forgiveness and restoration are essential not only to Christian faith but to personal freedom, healing, and healthy relationships. They use their own stories, biblical examples, and practical acronyms to break down the process of forgiveness, especially when it is difficult or feels impossible.

Key Takeaways:

- Forgiveness is both a command from God and a choice we have to make, even when our feelings tell us otherwise. Withholding forgiveness keeps us burdened; it’s as much about our own freedom as it is about others.

- The FAITH acronym is used as a roadmap:
    F: Feelings. Acknowledge your emotions honestly. Don’t fake it or suppress them—work through them with openness.
    A: Acknowledgment. Recognize the reality of the hurt, your own imperfections, and the humanity of those who have wronged you.
    I: Insight. Seek understanding about the root causes—where your pain, anger, or reactions truly come from, and recognize patterns.
    T: Trust. Rely on God’s strength and guidance, not just your willpower. Trust that He can change your heart and help you forgive.
    H: Healing. Embrace the healing and freedom that come with forgiveness. Let go of bitterness, release burdens, and make room for restoration—of self and, sometimes, relationships.

- Forgiveness doesn’t always mean restoration of the relationship in its original form. Sometimes, it just opens the door to peace or possible reconciliation (as in the example of Joseph forgiving his brothers, or David forgiving Saul’s family), even if the relationship’s boundaries change.

- Ignoring or excusing wounds isn’t the same as forgiving. True forgiveness involves facing our hurt, being real about the pain, and allowing God to address it—even if that takes time and vulnerability.

- Bitterness is not just plotting revenge; it’s letting pain and resentment take up residence in your life. True forgiveness involves moving out of that cycle and choosing to see people—and yourself—through the lens of God’s grace.

- The Bible calls us to forgive “from the heart,” not just with words (Matthew 18). This is not humanly easy—and sometimes feels impossible—but God doesn’t call us to do it in our own strength. We need his Spirit.

- Prayer, open conversations, and self-examination are important for genuine forgiveness. Sometimes, the hardest step is to admit you need help and to ask God to give you what you lack.

- Allen and Torri share personal stories and examples showing that forgiveness and restoration can happen, even in situations that seem broken beyond repair. Self-forgiveness may be the first step necessary before you’re able to forgive others.

- Culture may reward holding grudges or seeking revenge, but the standard for believers is Christ—who not only forgave but also pursued restoration and peace.

Practical Steps:

- Be honest with God about your feelings and pain.
- Reflect on root issues in your heart, not just surface behavior.
- Pray and invite God to heal, direct, and give you strength to forgive and move forward.
- Accept that forgiveness is a process and may require multiple conversations.
- Don’t rush or place your healing on a strict timeline—give God space to work.
- Let God set the standard for relationships, responses, and reconciliation—not culture or your own emotions.

Closing Thought:

Forgiveness and restoration are not about pretending hurt didn’t happen or excusing bad behavior. They are about choosing to release resentment, trust God’s justice and healing, and make space for real peace and growth. We all need God’s help for this—none of us can do it alone. True restoration begins when we are honest with ourselves and God, extend the same grace He’s shown us, and allow Him to work in our hearts and lives.