Does this desperate internal dialogue sound familiar?
I have to stop drinking –
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Why can’t I be like everyone else?
I am so stupid, I am worried, I need help!
I am not that bad am I? I know lots of people worse than me.
I want these thoughts to stop. I can’t sleep, it’s so hot, I am so thirsty, I have to be up in another 4 hours.
I wonder if I am still over the legal limit to drive?
I want to stop drinking, I can’t keep living like this day after day, night after night. Making promises to myself in the night breaking them all by the following evening.
Broken promise after broken promise.
I am like a broken record.
The brain fog is awful, present in body but not in mind. Functioning on autopilot.
What can I do to fix this?
I can’t fix this in a public way. I can’t go to AA. I am too quiet, I would feel publicly shamed. I cannot face a room full of people and start to self berate, that would be humiliating. I have heard what happens in those meetings. I have seen the comedy clips and those scenes in the Movies
“My name is…”
I can’t bear to do that. I just can’t. But I need help. How did I let this happen to me? I refuse to be called an “Alcoholic” but I do need help to stop.
I am smart. I know I can do this. I just need some guidance. My father stopped his smoking habit back in the day when no help was available. If he quit a habit so can I.
I wonder what google can come up with?
Okay, there seems to be a lot of advice out there. Lots of articles to read and sound advice. I keep coming across these articles that are suggesting they can provide the support I need. A community, I am not sure about this. There is probably some kind of catch. I am always very wary. Heck, what have I got to lose. I think I will join.
Over a year ago I joined the Boom Rethink the Drink online community. Boom provides information and opinion from all walks of life and really helpful articles. But more importantly, the Boom community provides empathy and support. I was not alone. I had found a place that I could be honest without judgment. It is not a one size fits all attitude. People have tried many avenues to Sobriety. Secrecy and shame kept my habit alive but writing it out and sharing it weakened the power my habit had over me. I began to trust others and to share some of my secrets. This has been liberating and healing and the process of writing my thoughts rather than drinking them down has set me free. If you have connection through a community, you are never alone.
Today as I celebrate my alcohol-free birthday, what better way to celebrate than by sharing the gifts that my sobriety has brought to me, with you!
Read Full Text Here at www.boozemusings.com
5 Gifts of Sobriety – Celebrating Sober With Thoughts on How to Stop Drinking
Find our private online community at www.boomrethinkthedrink.com