Retro Radio Podcast

An old timer from the railroad, portrayed by Ernest Chapel, tells about the hazards of the job in the old days. Men missing fingers, or a leg. He tells about riding one of the new streamliners to see his girl from 42 years earlier. He has to stop to explain slang of the railroad man as he recounts how he came to leave Addy.

Life as a telegrapher is described. On the summer night with hooty owls and squirrels, we relive the moment with young Addy. Should he leave the railroad for a different telegraphy company? If he could find a good paying job, where would she like to move?

On the rainy night, a train comes barreling through. Despite the green light, its too fast for the track. Addy runs for help while Ernest races down the track with his lantern. But where’s the train? Could it have been a ghost train? Was it just a trick, or prank?

When another train comes in the middle of the night, Ernest is ready for it. But a ghost train can’t cut off a leg… can it?

To keep Abner’s poppa busy, the gents want to get him a Job. Lum says that there’s openings at the war plant that Phinus might do. A hot tip finds Lum doing the leg work to hold a job for Phinus. Can Abner run the telephone, and call around town to find his poppa?

As Lum worries whether the job can be held, grandpap enters. Abner needs to head out to find his poppa, and since Lum needs to man the store, grandpap runs the application over. Finally, word comes in that Phinus is home. Can Lizabeth send him to the store?

Lum calls the defense plant to be sure the job is still being held open. This will be the big moment to keep Phinus busy, and out of their hair. Except for one little problem. Grandpap was just hired for it.

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Also titled: Trying to Hire the Andrews Sisters

Though the show may seem like a rerun, it’s actually a reproduction with a previous script. The orchestra leader has changed to Will Osbourne. Lou talks to Bud about a ranch that he is buying. He seems to have run over Alvea Almon in his car, as Mrs Niles. Lou’s troubles aren’t over when he tells how he had a run in with a cop. Mrs Niles enters to do some give and take insulting with Lou. Bud and Lou go into the classic routine about U-Drive cars as they plan to drive out to Lou’s new ranch.

Will Osborne plays, My Dreams are Getting Better All the Time.

The guys drive out to the ranch, but have a little car trouble along the way. They have to switch to taking a horse. Bud and Lou need to check into a hotel before they go to the ranch, and talk with Joe Besser, the hotel clerk. The funny stuff keeps on coming at the hotel.

Connie Haines sings, I’m Beginning to See the Light.

Before the guys can get started for the ranch, Mellonhead comes in to talk about his job in television, the Andrews Sisters, and trying to get them on the show. When the sisters aren’t available, what about the Andrews Brothers instead? Are the brothers as good as the sisters?

Since this is a recording from Armed Forces Radio (AFRS) the commercials have been snipped, and there’s time so Connie wraps up with, Salt Water Cowboy. The audio begins to degrade, but Connie keeps singing, A Lovely Way to Spend an Evening. Will Osborne even hops in with a swinging tune. The audio quality is pretty poor by the end, where Connie is back with another round of Saltwater Cowboy.

Homicide Detail. A man claims his wife is murdered, but he doesn’t know who did it.

On the scene, Joe Friday, and Ben Romero, find a distraught husband. He and a friend were at a bar together. Concerned that Hazel would be upset , Earl drove him home. Details about flat tires, and too much to drink come out. Earl only lives two doors down the block, but in taking the tires to him to be aired up, Leonard returned home to find Hazel had been killed.

In voiceover, Joe gives details in the investigation, are they being lied to, are there other family members who could shed light on the matter? Earl offers his side of the story, and his story seems inline with Leonard’s. Clues come in from the crime scene that could help identify the killer.

As the interviews continue, versions of the story change enough to have Joe and Ben concerned. More evidence is turned up, bloody hand prints, and it’s enough for a solid link to the killer. Who will it be a match for? Earl and Leonard are brought back in to see if they might change their story to the truth. The only one in the room who is surprised by the findings is Leonard.

To keep his old poppa busy, and taken from the need to shuffle him between home and town, Abner passes the idea of hiring him in the store to Lum. Not a good idea, as far as Lum is concerned. If not in the store, maybe somewhere else in town? Abner suggests working his poppa in their old bakery, or some of their other old business ventures or other.

Lum wants to keep him outdoors, where the air will do him good; Will it matter if the absent minded old man has a college education to find work? Where could they find jobs like grandpap does, that doesn’t require much effort?

Abner consults the almanac for job ideas. Civil engineer jobs are described, and the need for them in the war effort. Other jobs are read, all conveniently positions needed in supporting the war, or defense industry. Forget Phinus, those jobs are looking like ones Lum can see himself doing.

Bob “Broadcasting from the Northern Supply Base” Hope greets the troops, and jokes about his welcome to the base. Topics include dating habits of the military mechanics, tanks, and training with the soldiers. Meet the troops, when a Staff Sergeant gets to take the stage to joke with Bob. The sergeant of musical parents meets Vera Veg. Moonlight becomes her, but a blackout wouldn’t hurt her either.

Francis Langford sings, That Old Black Magic. She teases Bob about their guests who all star on Star Spangled Rhythm. Taking a look into the dressing room, the girls talk about Bob behind his back. Being cheap, a wolf, and protecting themselves from his advances are compared to other dates they’ve been on. What do the girls have to say about his love scenes? Bob finally gets kissed by the three starlets, Dorothy, Paulette, and Veronica.

Cecil B Kolonna introduces his version of Romeo and Juliet. After demand from glamour girls, Bob goes to audition for the part, and more kissing scenes. Feats of strength, criminals, romance, rationing, and even Tarzan make appearances. How will things work out in the projection room?

Now with a new sponsor, RCAVictor, we learn about Phil’s recording contract, and why he hasn’t been asked to record lately. Frank Nelson plays McDevit, the wisecracking sponsor who lets the cliches fly as he criticizes Phil’s voice. In search of the next hit novelty tune, Frankie figures he and Phil should do their own writing.

Hours into it, all they have is a single note, and come up empty on lyrics. Will a song title inspire them? How about a home town memory that Frankie had at the fair? Determined to have faith in their ability, the two renew their efforts to write their song.

As Alice listens to their new, not quite original tune, she sings, If I Were a Bell. The two inventive geniuses compare themselves to other greats in science, just in time for Julius to get in his insults. Could Julius do any better in the writing department? Even Grogan shows up with a lyrical masterpiece for Phil.

Gracie is still on the campaign trail, and complains to George about restrictions on campaign funds. Frank Parker tells about being at a recent baseball game. Ray Noble is on hand to get in on teasing George about his lack of fans. Will he also have financial advice for Gracie? She changes topics, and tells about her uncle in a broom closet, and makes a pun at the rival for president, Hoover.

Parker sings that hit from 1931, Sweet and Lovely. To respond to her fighting opponents, Gracie has the help of her friend Bubbles. They discuss farmers, and cows. How will it help raise money for her? Is she overlooking what the farmers need during the drought? She feels her feminine touch is what will help on the farms, and chicken coops. As she leaves them in a good mood, Ray Noble plays, Leave Them in a Good Mood.

Interviewing the man on the street, George tries to prove to Gracie that her campaign for president is silly. The crowd clamors for her attention, and George can’t get a moment at the podium. Even little boys know all about her Surprise party platform. Ray and Frank usher people to the front to talk with Gracie. Will she do something new with the New Deal? She shares her views on politicians, and topics of the day. A dignified gent is on hand to pitch Gracie’s next stop on her campaign trail, in Omaha.

Gracie sings, Picsacada Polka.

Connie has been dress shopping, and she discusses her finds with her landlady, Mrs Davis. Will her favorite bashful biologist notice her fashion sense? The ride to school with Walter reveals he is overwhelmed with her looks. Is his eye poppinb remarks infatuation, flattery, or plain teenage awkwardness?

With the new looks Connie has been sporting lately, will Mr Conklin have something to say? To impress the head of the school board. Will Mr Sttone be impressed with what Connie can do on a teacher’s budget?

Meeting Mr Boynton in the cafeteria, she shares her problem thqt she doesn’t own any of her new dresses. At least he noticed her flurry in fashions lately. Will he also notice her enough to pop an important question? Of course, but not the one she expects.

Back in her old blue jersey dress, at least for now, Connie and Harriet Conklin conspire to work fqshion magic. The moment arrives for having teq with Mr Stone, and even Mrs Conklin is looking good for the depqrtment heqe. Wardrobe malfuncctions seem to go badly, but in the charmed life of Connie Brooks, things come off well… er… work out for the best.

Abner shares the latest happenings with his poppa. He loves to read from the almanac, and Abner wants Lum to humor him, and listen to Phinus read. Today, he’s bringing his scrapbook, but Lum is far from pleased to hear the rambling account of people he doesn’t know.

The phone rings, and the talkative sister Simpson needs to discuss decoration details with Lum about the school board. He resorts to the occasional Uh-uh, to let her ramble on with her ideas. Meantime, Phinus tells Abner all about the photos in his scrapbook.

The cross talk about eclipses, school decorations, and random people Phinus knows turns into a cacophony of sound. Rather than waste time listening to folks, Lum has the idea of putting Phinus on the phone, and letting the two talkers ramble at each other.