Retro Radio Podcast

Announcer: Wendal Niles.

Bob “Soldier on the Desert” Hope opens the show from Palm Springs. He jokes about farmers, being greeted by the troops, starlets, bathing beauties, New Years Eve parties, dating, and more.

Francis Langford sings, Constantly. Rita Hayworth enters to joke about leading men. How does Bob’s dancing, and acting prowess compare to what she’s used to? Jokes turn to shortages of butter, then Bob is a country boy who meets Rita the city girl. Will he have a good deal on eggs for her? Jerry Kolonna sings, Conchita.

The feature, Meet the Army, calls on a private to take the stage with Bob. Curtis shows off his muscles, And tells about his college education. Who has the prettier, more blonde hair, Curtis, or Rita? Will the compliments hold up once Vera Veg enters? The cast go on a double date in a jeep. A breakdown finds them in need of Jerry’s cab services.

Distracted by showing his family scrap book to anyone who comes into range, Phinus hasn’t been a bother. Today, Lum enters the Jot Em Down store to learn about the trip Cedric and Phinus are to go on. Has the old man caused all the trouble he can in town, and now he’s branching out?

Lum tries to figure it out, but Abner is too busy with making arrangements. They need plenty of coupons for gas and rubber. Lum tries to talk patriotic sense over taking trips that aren’t essential. Thinking he has done an irreversible wrong, Abner thinks he’s on the fast track to the penitentiary.

The discussion is designed to outline how the rationing books and coupons work. They can’t be bought, sold, or transferred. The whole while, Abner fields phone calls to be sure the trip can go through. Is there some way Abner can get extra gas for Cedric to make the trip? Just how important is this message that the trip is for?

Narrating a case he didn’t take part in, Watson recounts the story as told to him by Holmes. Climbing the mountains, weather brings disaster to the expedition, with Holmes its only survivor. In the cold, and fighting delirium, Holmes is discovered, and nursed back to health by a girl. Will she keep his secret, though he has been presumed dead for the past two years?

A collection of characters soon gather in the mountain top cottage, a Russian, an Englishman, an American, and Holmes who is posing as a Norwegian named Olaf. What manner of conflict must be worked out in the Tibetan cottage? Murder of a Chinese emissary has come to the monistaary of peace, strongled with his own jewels.

Examining all the clues closely, Holmes is determined to bring a killer to light. The whereabouts of the multinational players is reviewed. Who is placed at the scene of the crime? Will serenity return to the monastery, so the monks can continue chanting in peace?

Chief Superintendent John Davidson relates a crime, direct from Scotland Yard’s Black Museum. A dark gray shirt with blood stains is the key to the missing Francesca, girl who had been arguing with her mother. A man who raises chickens and lives in a hut with a dirt floor seems a little wacko, but claims he’s engaged to the missing girl. The cops discuss the man, and how he came to contact them through the local vicar. Is there reason for the cops to smell a rat?

Heading out to visit Norman’s chicken farm, what will be learned? Will a confession of murder be forthcoming? Can the man be as looney as he lets on, as he carries on over his missing fiancee? The cops relax over a beer in the local pub. What’s their first impressions? Does the case against Norman have any merit? The local constable shares a few clues that could solidify the case.

Things heat up in the sleepy little village of simple citizens. Norman begins to feel trapped, but is he only being paranoid, or is there something to his claim to more than one person, that he killed and buried Francesca? Will there be grounds to dig up his chicken farm, in search of a shallow grave?

In epilog, details of the case are shared in regards to the motive, and outcome with the hangman.

Abner’s poppa has been causing trouble in town, and today he wants to talk to Cedric in the store. Phinus thinks Cedric is a gent named Vesper Hawkins. Even Cedric is beginning to think that’s his new name. The latest thing to rile up Phinus has to do with the link between the Hawkins family to the Peabody family.

The rambling old Phinus enters to read a document to Cedric, who he now thinks is Charlie Redfield. Back on track… sort of… the mixed up, convoluted family history begins. Frasier, a man who could levitate is an amazing man indeed who Phinus takes Vesper to see.

How will this turn out? Despite knowing better, even Lum and Abner are tempted to close up shop to go see for themselves.

Billy Mills opens with, I Got Rhythm.

Fate approaches 79 Wistful Vista in the form of a man with a sack on his back. The mail man helps dispose of the junk, but what’s the meaning of the registered letter? A penalty awaits, unless Fibber registers his dog. the connection on the phone to city hall is sidetracked by Mirt the operator, and Fibber learns of her Little 10 year old brother came staggeringhome. The trouble is that the McGee’s haven’t had a dog for 7 years. On the way to city hall, Teeny lends an ear to hear Fibber’s trouble, and show him her Esther bunny. Is it possible the rabbit is both a buck and a doe?

Harlowe Wilcox spends a moment in some hard sales of the sponsor product.

The Old Timer listens to the protests, and tells it the way he hear’d it with a jab at Bob Hope. Maybe Molly ought to handle things, given the way Fibber flies off the handle. Harlowe doubles as the license bureau clerk, and dishes out some soft sales to customers on his office phone. Will the government officials get it that there is no dog? Nick Dipopolos shares his memories of Fibber’s old dog.

The Kingsmen sing, Old King Cole. Abigail Uppington is in city hall, and listens to the tax woes of the McGee’s. Gildersleeve is on hand, but will he be in a position to help with the license? After causing his ruckus in the license department, the cops are on to him, but Fibber makes a break and may find himself in bigger trouble.

Note: The mail man is Gale Gordon.

Connie Brooks has had nothing but a series of disappointments in her life lately. Walter’s new gossip column doesn’t help matters. Is there hopes of a hot date tonight with Mr Boynton? Is Miss Enright out to sink her claws into him instead? With the publicity over Miss Enright’s birthday party, he has to turn down Connie for her.

Catty remarks fly when Miss Enright appears to swap insults with Connie. Troubles compound when Boynton has to cancel all his dates when his mother is to visit. Will Walter be able to pull some strings on Connie’s behalf?

The hypertensive Conklin has a telegram for Boynton for Connie to deliver to him, and Walter’s sneaky plan goes into action. Harriet has a message for Boynton that his mother will indeed be arriving. Will Connie have to share her date after all? Especially when Miss Enright also hears of being jilted on her birthday plans?

All is not blissful in the Harris household. What has Phil feeling shackled, and not abole to frolic like the wild colt he wants to be? Alice thinks he could get some manly advice from her brother, Willie. Will he be on Phil’s side when it comes to Spring fever, and the desire to get away? What if Alice forbids him to go?

Frankie arrives, and Phil learns where he stands on the topic of women. Will he be on board with Phil’s desire for a fishing trip with the guys? There’s only one thing to do and get himself cheered up… Phil sings, What a Face.

The thing Phil needs to get out of the house is to fake a nervous breakdown. Will Phil’s ramblings be mistaken for his usual attempt at jokes? The tea party is enough to convince Alice. Not that he’s nuts, just that he really wants his trip alone. She has her own rules for agreeing to let him go. Alice sings, I Only Want the Best Thing for You.

The first thing the guys need is a car, and they try to swipe Julius delivery truck. If the shakedown for his keys won’t work, how about a little buttering up? They may get the truck, but Julius gets the last laugh.

Jack is out in the hall, talking to Orson Wells. Phil describes the purpose, and we eavesdrop on the phone call to learn of the coaching session to improve Jack’s chances at winning an Oscar next year. Phil jokes about having his own show some day, and as Jack enters the studio, the cast teases him over his popularity with the average American.

Before Dennis can sing, Jack tells that Mary is sick this week, and won’t make the show. Dennis Day sings, Phil McGruder’s Ball

The topic of coaching on his acting returns, and soon handlers for Orson Wells begin showing up. Jack wants the cast to be on their best behavior as the lessons on elocution, and voice are expected. Will Jack be ready for the great Orson Wells when he shows up? Orson takes care of personal business in rapid fire fashion, in between meeting the cast and the lessons.

A game warden from Dead Man’s Rock seems to have nabbed a killer, but will he end up dead as well? Meanwhile, Jim Brandon and Fern enjoy the scenery and discuss the nature of the crime, and Indian customs. Knives used in the murder are similar to the throwing knives used in circus performances.

Lumbermen, trappers, and other kinds of rough necks fill the list of characters. Admiring a moose head, Jim continues to gather clues from the sheriff. Threats put pressure on the trappers to bend the rules, and resistance only causes the body count to rise.

Until Jim is satisfied, everyone is under suspicion. This looks like a job that only the Avenger can solve. Crooks hide smuggled goods in a hollow log. They won’t have a chance to get away when the Avenger swings into action. They tell their part in the crime, but will it lead to the ringleader of the operation? Sneaky things are still afoot, and danger looms in the trap Jim sets. Jim explains all, as he hands the bad guys over to the sheriff.