Returning to the Rez

Instagram & Twitter: @__kdshv__

Email: [email protected]

My thesis project is a narrative analysis focusing on the post-graduation journey of three Diné college graduates. Studying these post-graduation journeys is important because it demonstrates that ‘returning to the rez’ with the expectation to ‘give back’ as a Diné college graduate is complicated, it's not a direct path, it takes time, and it requires a maintenance of relations to land, people, and nationhood. In my own community, I have been told to leave the rez, get a college degree, but COME BACK. I was interested in how other Diné scholars felt about this expectation and designed a research method to listen to Diné college graduates in whether or not their post-graduation journey aligned with this sentiment of ‘returning to the rez’ to ‘give back’.

By focusing on the narratives of three Diné college graduates, this study examines how Diné scholars (re)create notions of home as they are away; the individual (but also collective) reckoning with the so-called expectation to “return to the rez” and “give back” to the community; and articulating the Navajo college experience through the lens of hózhó and chaos. I study the post-graduation journeys of Diné college graduates to produce knowledge in relation with each of these scholars. From my conversations, the participants reveal that there are multiple registers of how Diné college graduates can “give back” to their community whether their post-graduation journeys place them within or beyond the Four Sacred Mountains. The expectation to “return to the rez” can be a useful pathway to guide Navajo scholars in their pursuit of a college education, but it should not be understood as a strict and defined pathway. This is key to articulate the Native and Indigenous experience in the 21st century. From this study, it seems that there needs to be more knowledge gathering to expand the notion of ‘giving back’ and ‘standing with’ one’s community that is applicable to various Native communities, to various backgrounds, to various education pathways, and to various career industries.

The first theme “home” is based on the notion that Diné college graduates learn to find ways to create a sense of community and belonging at college, while also maintaining connections with their idea of “home”. Jourdan explained that one’s sense of home can be impacted by the Navajo practice of burying the umbilical cord and placenta at a significant place for the family - tethering that person to a specific location within the Four Sacred Mountains. Asa’s story articulates that some Navajo families’ connection to home is disrupted by land struggles, like with the coal mine - displacing some families into other areas of the reservation. In this way, the individual may find other ways to craft a sense of home that can’t necessarily rely on a physical space being “home”. Jourdan and Charlie both articulated the point that within the idea of home is the acknowledgement and honoring of land. In Jourdan’s interview, she retells a recent story where she learns that Native peoples should remember that what is known as North America has always been and always will be Indigenous territory. In Charlie’s interview, they mention that acknowledging land expands one’s sense of home by relating to the sky, the clouds, the animals, the trees, the dirt, and other elements of life on earth. Jourdan and Charlie’s response reveal that wherever Diné go in North America they are on traditional Indigenous territory and it is their responsibility to develop a relationship with the land. These Diné college graduates explain a few ways in which young Diné scholars can make sense of their life experiences whether it is within or beyond the Four Sacred Mountains.

The second theme “return to the rez” is based on my reflections on the sentiment I heard growing up. It doesn’t matter who was saying it, but folks were communicating “to leave the rez, go get a college degree, but COME BACK.” The second set of questions aimed to unravel some of the sentiment’s assumptions by producing knowledge in relation with Jourdan, Asa, and Charlie. The interviews centered the Diné college graduates’ responses - how they learned and internalized the sentiment, but more importantly how their post-graduation journey aligns or doesn’t quite align with the expectation to “return to the rez” and “give back”. The questions asked Jourdan, Asa, and Charlie to share responses related to some of their life experiences, their decisions, and how they learned to live with those decisions. My questions were created out of my own curiosity and my own eagerness to gain advice about my next steps post-graduation from Columbia University. All three participants confirmed that they recall hearing that sentiment growing up. I followed up with the question asking what the sentiment meant to them. Asa took a second to respond but he explained how he didn’t see how his passions fit within the sentiment, as if the sentiment was crafted in a way that didn’t include theater artists like him; rather the sentiment functions to encourage Diné scholars to pursue industries like engineering, law, medicine, and education. Asa points out that his work requires him to work away from the rez in order to make a living and enjoy the work that he does. For Asa’s situation, it makes more sense for him to create a life in NYC than on the rez. For Jourdan’s story, it’s revealed that she is the only one of my participants to return to the rez.. After undergrad, she worked near home in Farmington, NM. After her Master’s program, she moved back home to work at her former high school as a teacher. There is something to be said about how Jourdan made two return journeys but yet still talks about the lack of opportunities available to Diné college graduates, and also mentions that she has a few friends who were viewed as ‘overqualified’ for Navajo Nation jobs. I think that the issue of overqualified applicants and not enough job opportunities on the rez leads to other studies to focus on the economic aspect of Diné college graduates’ post-graduation journey. It’s important to conduct another study focusing on job availability and wages on the Navajo Nation and determine how that then affects the possibility of Diné college graduates returning to the rez. Charlie’s perspective occupied the space of critiquing the expectation to return to the rez, especially how Navajo Nation officials and leaders continue to promote that journey for young Diné scholars. It seems that Charlie would argue it’s not that they don’t want Diné scholars to not attend college, but rather we all should be developing a critical consciousness that first centers Diné ways of being, knowing, and doing, as well as seek to disrupt western institutions and logics. Diné scholars have the right to higher education, but there are multiple institutions and people that must be held accountable to protect and care for all students’ minds and bodies. Higher education institutions need to reckon with how their policies are inclusive of their Native student community. However, our own communities within Dinébikéyah and across North America need to reflect greater on how they are maintaining relationships with the Diné and Indigenous scholars and how they are welcoming them back into the community. Jourdan mentioned how sometimes our own people are the worst in shaming our own. There should be greater awareness of not shaming Diné scholars for learning to code switch in different spaces.

From my conversations with the three Diné college graduates, I gathered that there are multiple registers of returning to the rez and giving back to the community. Asa’s story seems to function similar to what Dr. Kim Tallbear explains as the work standing with the community. It is an approach that articulates how sometimes Native scholars are pursuing work or research that doesn’t necessarily give back to the community, but the individual still stands with their community in other capacities. Jourdan’s story demonstrates that one can return to the rez but can also decide to leave the rez again for a career opportunity - and that is ok! Sometimes the rez can’t provide a specific professional development opportunity so it’s fine to leave once again for a greater experience. In Charlie’s interview, they provide a set of questions that Diné scholars should be posing to themselves like whether or not their interests operate for the benefit and the health of the people, the nation, or the land. As they say, it is disrespectful to go to college, become educated and then weaponize the college degree to your own people. Delving into the process of self-interrogation is wrestling with that sense of chaos (i.e., the sense of uncomfortableness and unfamiliarity) and restoring balance so that one continually reflects on their intentions and whether they are aligned with ideas of Native excellence, tribal nation building and capacity building for native peoples.

The third theme “hozho + chaos” required each participant to acknowledge their own conception of hózhó and chaos in the Navajo way of life and determine if their personal understandings applied to their life experiences since graduating from college. It is based in traditional Navajo knowledge and thought in viewing the territory among the Four Sacred Mountains as the state for hózhó and assuming that Diné life beyond is in a not in hózhó - as I argue, it’s in a state of chaos. It was ambitious to ask each person to reflect in this way as it appeared that I referred to each of their post-graduation journeys as chaotic. However, I posed these questions to further articulate what could be meant as ‘chaos’ for Diné scholars living, working, and studying beyond the Four Sacred Mountains. Asa quickly pointed out how over the years living away from family in Arizona he has learned to be in balance with the chaos - articulating that dealing with chaos is a part of life. Jourdan joked when she began her response stating that her life since high school has been chaotic! She reflected on this question by re-framing the language to explain that being in chaos is experiencing that which is uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Therefore, it seems that Jourdan would advocate that being in chaos is learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. So my question of chaos s viewing chaos as that which is unfamiliar that also has the potential to disrupt that which is peaceful and in order in one’s life. Originally, I confused the understanding of hózhó and chaos by imagining the concepts in opposition. Charlie corrected me in the interview by explaining that these concepts are not in opposition, rather they are in relation to one another. Charlie explains that chaos is a part of creation, so therefore it has its purpose in life. Developing a relationship with hózhó and chaos is a pathway in life, or as Charlie says it’s an aspiration. It’s an everyday process, and it comes with a set of responsibility as Bila’ashdlaii.

Altogether, the three Diné college graduates revealed that Diné scholars may make sense of their life experiences beyond the Four Sacred Mountains through a lens of chaos, however they learn to develop a relationship with chaos and restore hózhó - learn to be aware of chaos, but also actively learn how to be in balance with chaos. These methods of finding hózhó beyond the Four Sacred Mountains is the experience of being Diné in the 21st century. Jourdan, Asa, and Charlie sharing their story is one example of contributing to the intergenerational transmission of knowledge to know what it means to be Diné, especially as higher education becomes more of a norm within the community. Diné scholars have a right to higher education, but once they access these spaces and receive college degrees then they have a responsibility to develop a critical consciousness that contributes to ideas of Native excellence and tribal nation building. Returning to the rez as a Diné college graduate is complicated (which is ok), is indirect (which is ok), takes time (which is ok), but also relies on the maintenance of relations to land, people, and nationhood. There are multiple pathways for Diné college graduates to ‘give back’ or ‘stand with’ their community that are meaningful, intentional, and productive. I encourage all Diné scholars and more importantly all Indigenous scholars to share their story with each other to contribute to Native excellence and tribal nation building. This type of discussion actively contributes to the intergenerational transmission of knowledge that protects and cares for Native minds and bodies while also further articulating the complexity of Native identity in the 21st century.

ADDITIONAL READINGS:

(1) Brayboy, Bryan McKinley, and Donna Deyhle. "Insider-outsider: researchers in American Indian communities."Theory into practice 39, no. 3 (2000).

(2) Taylor, Melanie Benson, Robert Kilkenny, and Andrew Garrod, eds. I Am Where I Come From. Cornell University Press, 2017.

(3) Kovach, Margaret. "Conversational method in Indigenous research." First Peoples Child & Family Review 14, no. 1 (2010).

(4) Smith, Linda Tuhiwai. Decolonizing methodologies: Research and indigenous peoples. Zed Books Ltd., 2013.

Here is part one of my conversation with Charlie Scott! Charlie comes from Del Muerte, Arizona. They are a graduate of Brown University where they completed their Bachelor’s degree in Ethnic Studies and Sociology. At the time of the interview, they were in their final semester at the University of Rhode Island finishing their Master’s Program, and now preparing to attend the University of Denver in the fall for a doctoral program to study the link between higher education and settler colonialism. Charlie’s story truly reflects what it means to practice Navajo teachings in the 21st century, but they also amazingly articulate the beauty and challenges of being Navajo in the academy. /// IG: @dineaesthetics /// Twitter: @GrandmaSaidNo /// Blog: http://dineaesthetics.com/ /// Additional Readings: (1) Basso, Keith H. Wisdom sits in places: Landscape and language among the Western Apache. UNM Press, 1996. (2) Iverson, Peter. Diné: A history of the Navajos. UNM Press, 2002. (3)  Austin, Justice Raymond D. "Diné Sovereignty, a Legal and Traditional Analysis." Navajo Sovereignty: Understandings and Visions of the Diné People (2017) (4) Watts, Vanessa. "Indigenous place-thought & agency amongst humans and non-humans (First Woman and Sky Woman go on a European world tour!)." Re-visiones 7 (2017).

Here is part two of my conversation with Asa Benally! Asa comes from Black Mesa, Arizona. He is a freelance fashion and costume designer in New York City. Asa has pursued fashion, costume designing, and theater since high school when he made the decision to attend Idyllwild Arts Academy in California, graduating and then moving on to Purchase College then after one year transferring to Parsons School of Design in NYC. His post-graduation journey includes pursuing various fashion projects and costume designing for many theatre productions. He has lived on the East Coast since he left for college, in NYC and then in New Haven, Connecticut when he completed a Master’s program at the Yale School of Drama. Asa’s story tells us that while his work may someday return to the rez, he can’t quite make that journey because the problems with the coal mine in black mesa displaces him and his family from being in the land but also his profession hasn’t quite developed on the rez yet. His journey troubles the assumption and expectation for Navajo college graduates to ‘give back’. /// IG: @asa_benally_design /// Additional Readings: (1) Simpson, Leanne. Dancing on our turtle's back: Stories of Nishnaabeg re-creation, resurgence and a new emergence. Arbeiter Ring Pub., 2011. (2) TallBear, Kim. "Standing with and speaking as faith: A feminist-indigenous approach to inquiry." Journal of Research Practice 10, no. 2 (2014) (3) Werito, Vincent. "Understanding Hózhó to Achieve Critical Consciousness." Diné perspectives: Revitalizing and reclaiming Navajo thought (2014).

Here is part 1 of the interview with Asa Benally. Asa Benally comes from Black Mesa, Arizona. He is a freelance fashion and costume designer in New York City. Asa has pursued fashion, costume designing, and theater since high school when he made the decision to attend Idyllwild Arts Academy in California, graduating and then moving on to Purchase College then after one year transferring to Parsons School of Design in NYC. His post-graduation journey includes pursuing various fashion projects and costume designing for many theatre productions. He has lived on the East Coast since he left for college, in NYC and then in New Haven, Connecticut when he completed a Master’s program at the Yale School of Drama. Asa’s story tells us that while his work may someday return to the rez, he can’t quite make that journey because the problems with the coal mine in black mesa displaces him and his family from being in the land but also his profession hasn’t quite developed on the rez yet. His journey troubles the assumption and expectation for Navajo college graduates to ‘give back’. /// IG: @asa_benally_design & Website: https://www.asabenally.com/ /// Additional Readings: (1) Reyes, Nicole Alia Salis. "“What Am I Doing to Be a Good Ancestor?”: An Indigenized Phenomenology of Giving Back Among Native College Graduates." American Educational Research Journal (2016). (2) Ross, Gyasi. “Leaving the Reservation: Modern Day Assimilation”. Huffington Post https://www.huffpost.com/entry/native-americans-reservation-assimilation_b_5001850 (Retrieved 22 April 2019). (3) Shotton, Heather, Shelly Lowe, and Stephanie Waterman. "Beyond the asterisk: Understanding Native American college students." (2013).

Here is part two of the interview with Jourdan Bennett-Begaye. Jourdan comes from Nenahnezaad, New Mexico. She is a reporter and producer at Indian Country Today. Her college journey is a story for sure. In the interview, I asked Jourdan to explain her college journey from high school to today, and her response was nearly 40 minutes long - she went straight to Emory University in Georgia, transferred to a couple schools, also completed a study abroad program, and then finished at Fort Lewis College. From her experiences, Jourdan tells us that Navajo college graduates can give back to their community by continuing to share stories - sharing their life experiences related to college and in this way contributing to the intergenerational transmission of knowledge on what it means to be Navajo in the 21st century.

IG: @jourdanbb

Twitter: @jourdanbb

Brien, Suzanne Crawford O. Native American Religious Traditions. Routledge, 2015.

Keene, Adrienne. "Understanding Relationships in the College Process." Reclaiming Indigenous Research in Higher Education (2018).

Shotton, Heather, Shelly Lowe, and Stephanie Waterman. “Beyond access: Indigenizing programs for Native American student success.” Stylus Publishing, LLC, 2018.

Zolbrod, Paul G. Diné bahane': The Navajo creation story. UNM Press, 1987

Here is the first interview of the series. Kendall interviews Jourdan Bennett-Begaye. Jourdan comes from Nenahnezaad, New Mexico. She is a reporter and producer at Indian Country Today. Her college journey is a story for sure. In the interview, I asked Jourdan to explain her college journey from high school to today, and her response was nearly 40 minutes long - she went straight to Emory University in Georgia, transferred to a couple schools, also completed a study abroad program, and then finished at Fort Lewis College. From her experiences, Jourdan tells us that Navajo college graduates can give back to their community by continuing to share stories - sharing their life experiences related to college and in this way contributing to the intergenerational transmission of knowledge on what it means to be Navajo in the 21st century.

IG: @jourdanbb

Twitter: @jourdanbb

Begay, Jr., Manley. "The Path Of Navajo Sovereignty In Traditional Education." Navajo Sovereignty: Understandings and Visions of the Diné People (2017).

Denny, Avery, and Michael Lerma. "Diné Principles of Good Governance." Navajo Sovereignty Understandings and Visions of the Diné People, (2017).

Emerson, Larry. “Diné Sovereign Action.” Navajo Sovereignty Understandings and Visions of the Diné People (2017).

King, Farina. The Earth Memory Compass: Diné Educational Experiences in the Twentieth Century. Arizona State University, 2016.

Kendall shares the purpose of the podcast series and how it operates in relation to his undergraduate senior thesis project! He explains how he came to this idea as a project, introduces his participants who share their post-graduation journeys, and shares some goals for the podcast series.