What happens when love isn't enough? When trauma runs so deep that having your child live at home becomes unsafe for everyone involved? This raw, vulnerable conversation with Anna Bernacki pulls back the curtain on one of foster care and adoption's most painful realities – the moment when residential treatment becomes necessary.

Anna brings a uniquely powerful perspective as both an adoptee herself and an adoptive mother to four children through foster care. She shares the heartbreaking journey of having two children require residential placement, walking us through the complex emotions of loving from a distance. With unflinching honesty, she describes the shame that engulfed her when realizing her home couldn't provide what her daughter needed, the PTSD she developed from traumatic experiences before placement, and the guilt that haunted her with every empty seat at the dinner table.

Yet within this painful story emerges profound wisdom. Anna explains how distance sometimes allows authentic attachment to form where proximity once created threat. She details practical strategies for maintaining connection – setting clear boundaries for phone calls, explaining unavailability in advance to ease anxiety, and showing up consistently despite verbal abuse or rejection. Her insights into how siblings process this separation will resonate with any parent navigating the impact on their whole family system.

Perhaps most valuable is Anna's candid discussion of faith through uncertainty. She wrestles openly with trusting God's plan while sometimes losing hope that healing will come in her lifetime – a tension many parents in crisis understand deeply. Her vulnerability creates space for others to acknowledge similar struggles without shame.

For those walking similar paths, this conversation offers confirmation you're not alone. For those supporting families in crisis, it provides crucial perspective on the complexity of these decisions. And for anyone connected to the foster care world, it issues a powerful call to develop more trauma-informed systems at every level.

Whether you're currently facing these impossible choices or simply want to better understand the full spectrum of foster care and adoption experiences, this episode will expand your compassion and challenge preconceived notions about what successful parenting looks like in the shadow of severe trauma.

Anna's IG: @Anna.Bernacki

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