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What if the most loving thing we can do for our kids isn’t to fix their pain, but to guide them through it? We sit down with Isaac Etter—transracial adoptee, educator, and founder of Identity and Parenting Different—to unpack what adoptees actually need: honest stories, practical preparation, and communities that make belonging real.

Isaac shares how identity often splits in two for adoptees: Who am I in a family where no one looks like me, and how does my race shape my daily experience? He names a trio many families miss—loss, grief, and guilt—and explains why guilt is so common when adoptees fear disappointing loving parents with honest questions. We dig into how parents can move from protection to preparation in transracial homes, offering concrete examples for talking about bias, public behavior, and safety without making the world feel hopeless. From Nerf guns in the front yard to being followed in a store, Isaac gives language to help kids understand what happened, know where we stand, and feel safe coming back to talk more.

We also map an age-appropriate path for lifelong conversations about race and adoption. Start early with everyday affirmation—books, toys, hair care, and mentors that reflect your child—and build toward practical scripts for school, friends, and authority. Belonging grows when the whole family participates in diverse communities, cultural festivals, and routines that normalize the child’s heritage. And when it comes to birth stories, we talk about sharing truth in stages—without vilifying or hiding—so kids carry a coherent narrative into adulthood.

Looking for ongoing support? Isaac’s work with Identity and Parenting Different brings post-adoption training and free resources to families, agencies, and states. Listen for the frameworks and scripts we use at home, then share the episode with someone who needs it. If this helped you, subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what’s one conversation you’ll start this week?

Link: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/

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Fear loves to whisper what if, especially to foster and adoptive parents who carry heavy stories and real responsibilities. We open up about the moments when panic tries to take over- late-night spirals, hard court dates, and those small behaviors that feel like previews of a grim future- and we share the better way: a posture rooted in grace, curiosity, and steady faith. Nicole unpacks how 2 Timothy 1:7 offers more than comfort; it gives a blueprint for parenting with power, love, and a sound mind, even when the stakes are high.

You’ll hear a vivid story about a child’s “sticky fingers” that flips catastrophe into calling, reminding us to look beneath behaviors for gifts and needs. We talk about advocacy in the system- how to prepare, speak clearly, and hold boundaries without losing kindness- and why acting from panic rarely serves kids well. We also step into the deep waters of unsafe seasons, telling the truth about fear while describing the surprising peace that shows up in God’s presence. The picture of Stephen in Acts 7, and Jesus standing, reframes suffering with awe and invites us to trade bitterness for grace-filled courage.

Throughout, we weave in practical tools: pause before reacting, ask a curious question, pray a one-line prayer, rehearse God’s track record, and anchor your mind in passages like Isaiah 41:10 and John 14:27. If you’ve ever felt stuck in what if thinking or tempted to over-control, this conversation offers a calmer path and grounded hope. Subscribe, share with a foster or adoptive friend, and tell us: where has God turned your fear into faith? Your story may be the encouragement someone needs today.

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Some days the unknowns feel louder than our confidence. So we’re naming the five big seasons of foster care- the call, the waiting, the daily work, the transitions, and the surprises- and getting honest about where fear shows up, where systems fall short, and where hope quietly grows. I share the moments that recalibrated my own heart: a gas‑station “sign” that nudged a family forward, the paper airplane that carried a thank‑you down our laundry chute, and a room full of professionals learning TBRI to serve kids better.

We unpack the practical side of faithfulness, too. Waiting turns into preparation when we build rhythms that hold under stress, from simple sensory and regulation tools to predictable routines that help our kids feel safe. Daily trauma‑informed parenting gets specific...co‑regulation before correction, choices that matter, quick repairs after missteps- because progress often hides inside small, ordinary acts. We also talk about advocating across systems with patience and precision, finding allies in schools, courts, agencies, and community groups who are ready to change how kids are supported.

Transitions and surprises test our grip on control, so we walk through reunification, adoption, grief, and the unexpected paths that follow. Trust becomes active: blessing goodbyes with dignity, keeping memory, and practicing flexible presence when plans shift. Through it all, we return to one steady truth- God’s character doesn’t wobble when outcomes do. If this conversation gives you oxygen for the week, tap follow, share it with a foster or adoptive parent who needs hope, and leave a quick review so more families can find this space.

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Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

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What if trauma-informed parenting isn’t a departure from biblical wisdom but a practical expression of it? That question drives a heartfelt conversation with guest Kristin Orphan, cofounder of Finally Home, a national nonprofit equipping foster, adoptive, and kinship families with education, encouragement, and community. We dig into what trauma actually does in the brain, why “traditional” parenting often assumes preexisting trust, and how compassion and clear values can peacefully coexist. The destination—raising kids who thrive in character and faith—stays the same; the route changes because our children’s starting points are different.

We share concrete ways to build trust first—connection before correction—so guidance can land. You’ll hear how to set values-based rules, avoid provoking fight/flight responses, and use developmentally appropriate expectations without compromising standards like honesty and respect. Kristen offers lived-in wisdom on launching young adults, empowering kids to self-advocate, and embracing the long game where outcomes can’t be forced and free will is real. We also talk candidly about the mirror parenting holds up: the shame, the triggers, and the grace that meets us when we admit limits and repair quickly.

Self-care takes center stage as stewardship rather than indulgence. From sleep and movement to prayer and Scripture, we outline habits that regulate our nervous systems and model healthy adulthood. Tools like play therapy and parent coaching are framed as provision, not salvation, aligning evidence-based strategies with a faith that remains front and center. If you’ve felt torn between brain-wise approaches and your convictions, this conversation will help you see how they braid together—firm values, soft hearts, steady leadership.

If this resonated, share it with a friend, leave a review so other foster and adoptive parents can find it, and subscribe for more faith-filled, trauma-informed conversations that strengthen your home.

Links for Kristin:

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@teamfinallyhome

Instagram: https://instagram.com/teamfinallyhome

Facebook: https://facebook.com/finallyhome.net

Family Journey Show https://finallyhome.net/category/family-journey-show/

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@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

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Every foster and adoptive parent has found themselves desperately searching for sleep solutions at 2 AM, wondering why traditional methods aren't working and if they're somehow failing their child. Sleep consultant Allison Ezell brings a revolutionary perspective to this universal struggle, explaining why children from hard places face unique challenges around bedtime and offering trauma-informed solutions that actually work.

Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience as an adoptive and foster mom, Allison illuminates why sleep represents a perfect storm for children with trauma histories. "Sleep requires two things that are incredibly difficult for our kids – complete surrender of control and separation from caregivers," she explains. For children whose bodies remember neglect, abandonment, or inconsistent care, closing their eyes to sleep can trigger their deepest fears.

The conversation delves into why traditional sleep training approaches can be harmful for children who've experienced trauma, potentially reinforcing harmful beliefs that crying doesn't bring help or that adults can't be trusted. Instead, Allison offers practical strategies centered on attachment, felt safety, and meeting underlying needs. From understanding sleep associations (how a child falls asleep is how they'll return to sleep all night) to creating sensory-rich bedtime routines that prepare both body and brain for rest, these approaches honor a child's history while building healthy sleep habits.

Perhaps most powerfully, Allison shares how transformative healthy sleep can be for entire families. "People think I'm passionate about kids' sleep, but I'm not. I'm passionate about seeing families choose connection, because it's really hard to choose connection with a kid who kept you up every hour of the night." When everyone starts getting adequate rest, relationships heal, patience returns, and the capacity for joy expands. For many foster and adoptive families, solving sleep challenges becomes the breakthrough that allows them to continue their fostering journey with renewed energy and hope.

Looking for trauma-informed sleep support? Visit dwellpediatricsleep.com to explore Allison's resources, including her online course designed specifically for foster and adoptive families. Your path to better sleep—and stronger family connections—starts here.

Website: www.dwellpediatricsleep.com

Trauma-Informed Healthy Sleep Foundations Course: https://www.dwellpediatricsleep.com/product-page/a-trauma-informed-look-at-healthy-sleep-foundations-course

Instagram: instagram.com/dwellpediatricsleep

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@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
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Ever feel like your heart is being pulled in a thousand directions as a foster parent? Like you're supposed to be everything to everyone while somehow finding time to breathe? You're not alone.

In this soul-nourishing conversation, Jessica Matheson (author of "No Matter When I Go") shares her foster care journey and the freedom she found when she stopped trying to be her children's savior. With refreshing candor, she reflects on starting as a foster parent before having biological children, eventually adopting her teenage daughter, and learning that God's timeline rarely matches our own.

"Only the Spirit of God can bring healing to their lives," Jessica reminds us. "We can be an agent through which He works, but it's not our job to fix or heal." This perspective shift might be exactly what you need to hear today if you're drowning under the weight of unrealistic expectations.

We explore practical ways to help children recognize God's hand in their stories without dismissing their trauma. Jessica shares wisdom about going slow, prioritizing relationship over behavior modification, and showing kids what healthy family life looks like—sometimes that's enough.

Whether you're considering fostering, in the thick of placement challenges, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers gentle permission to release perfection and embrace obedience instead. God doesn't need us to overhaul our children's lives overnight; He simply asks us to be faithful with what's before us today.

Ready to see your foster parenting journey through fresh eyes? Listen now, and remember: you don't have to do it all. You just have to follow where He leads.

You can get to know her at www.jessicanmathisen.com, on Instagram @jessicanmathisen, and through her podcast, The Fullness of Joy.

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@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
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Sandra Flach shares her family's journey with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and provides essential knowledge for foster and adoptive parents raising children with prenatal alcohol exposure.

• FASD affects 1 in 20 children in the United States—more prevalent than autism
• Only 10% of children with FASD display the facial features needed for diagnosis
• Prenatal alcohol exposure permanently alters brain structure and function
• There is no safe amount of alcohol during pregnancy and no safe time to drink
• Symptoms often intensify during teenage years as executive function demands increase
• Children with FASD may be chronologically one age but developmentally much younger
• Brain-based parenting focuses on understanding behaviors as brain differences
• Breaking tasks into smaller steps and creating routines helps children succeed
• Helping children understand their diagnosis empowers them to self-advocate
• The Justice for Orphans website and "Hope for the FASD Journey" support group provide resources

If this episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who may need it and subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.

The Link to Sandra's website is JusticeForOrphansNY.org

You can find her at:

Instagram: @afc_journey and @sandraflach_jfo

Facebook: @the Adoption & Foster Care Journey and @Sandra Flach 

Connect with me on Instagram:
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

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Dr. John DeGarmo, founder of the Foster Care Institute and foster parent to over 60 children, takes us on a powerful journey into the heart of foster care ministry. Having witnessed firsthand the transformative impact of faith communities on vulnerable children, Dr. John makes a compelling case for why foster care represents "the next great mission field" for today's churches.

The statistics are sobering – millions of children experience domestic violence daily, and the foster care system is overwhelmed nationwide. But rather than seeing only crisis, Dr. John reveals the extraordinary opportunity standing before faith communities. "There's usually a child in crisis within a mile of every church," he explains, challenging listeners to recognize the mission field that exists in their own neighborhoods.

Drawing from decades of experience and his doctorate in foster care, Dr. John offers practical strategies for church involvement that extend far beyond direct fostering. From establishing support groups and clothes closets to creating welcoming visitation spaces for biological families, he demonstrates how congregations can become powerful agents of healing. Particularly moving are his stories of churches that wrapped around reunified families, preventing children from returning to care by providing practical support during crises.

What shines through most clearly is Dr. John's unwavering faith amid heartbreak. Having experienced four failed adoptions and cared for children with profound trauma, he speaks candidly about relying on God through exhaustion and discouragement. "I couldn't do it without my faith," he shares, echoing the experience of 85% of foster parents nationwide who draw strength from their spiritual foundations.

Dr. John DeGarmo Website: https://www.drjohndegarmofostercare.com/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100078889265859

Nicole T Barlow email: [email protected]

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Struggling to find the strength to keep going in your foster care journey? This powerful conversation with missionary and adoptive mom Mandie Summers reveals how faith becomes the essential foundation when the system feels broken and the burden feels too heavy.

Mandy never imagined herself as a foster parent until a casual dinner conversation with a social worker friend opened her eyes to the crisis within the foster care system. What began as complete naivety about trauma and fostering evolved into a profound family transformation that ultimately led to adopting two children and continuing to provide foster care. 

"Foster care and adoption really found us," Mandie shares, admitting she and her husband were probably "the two most naive people to ever sign up." Her honest account of expecting a simple revolving door of short placements versus the complex reality they encountered resonates with anyone who's discovered the gap between expectations and the fostering experience.

The heart of this episode explores spiritual sustainability – how faith provides the strength to continue when burnout threatens. Mandy's practical spiritual disciplines include daily Scripture listening during walks, worship music during chaotic pre-dinner hours, and leaning into biblical narratives that suddenly take on new meaning through the fostering lens. Her identification with Moses in Numbers 11 ("Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth?") offers profound comfort to foster parents carrying trauma they didn't create.

Whether you're considering fostering, currently fostering, or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers hope that God provides exactly what's needed in each season. As Mandie beautifully summarizes: "It is the hardest thing we've done, but so worth it in the richness of life. Offering a Christ-centered home to a child is worth anything."

For more information on Mandie and Jason's missionary journey and how to support them: https://give.cru.org/0578940

Foster Parent Well Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1VeRn4AaDHThddXx/ 

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What happens when love isn't enough? When trauma runs so deep that having your child live at home becomes unsafe for everyone involved? This raw, vulnerable conversation with Anna Bernacki pulls back the curtain on one of foster care and adoption's most painful realities – the moment when residential treatment becomes necessary.

Anna brings a uniquely powerful perspective as both an adoptee herself and an adoptive mother to four children through foster care. She shares the heartbreaking journey of having two children require residential placement, walking us through the complex emotions of loving from a distance. With unflinching honesty, she describes the shame that engulfed her when realizing her home couldn't provide what her daughter needed, the PTSD she developed from traumatic experiences before placement, and the guilt that haunted her with every empty seat at the dinner table.

Yet within this painful story emerges profound wisdom. Anna explains how distance sometimes allows authentic attachment to form where proximity once created threat. She details practical strategies for maintaining connection – setting clear boundaries for phone calls, explaining unavailability in advance to ease anxiety, and showing up consistently despite verbal abuse or rejection. Her insights into how siblings process this separation will resonate with any parent navigating the impact on their whole family system.

Perhaps most valuable is Anna's candid discussion of faith through uncertainty. She wrestles openly with trusting God's plan while sometimes losing hope that healing will come in her lifetime – a tension many parents in crisis understand deeply. Her vulnerability creates space for others to acknowledge similar struggles without shame.

For those walking similar paths, this conversation offers confirmation you're not alone. For those supporting families in crisis, it provides crucial perspective on the complexity of these decisions. And for anyone connected to the foster care world, it issues a powerful call to develop more trauma-informed systems at every level.

Whether you're currently facing these impossible choices or simply want to better understand the full spectrum of foster care and adoption experiences, this episode will expand your compassion and challenge preconceived notions about what successful parenting looks like in the shadow of severe trauma.

Anna's IG: @Anna.Bernacki

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Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/