What happens in that critical moment when your child's behavior pushes your buttons? That split second before you respond determines whether your correction will actually work or simply bounce off ineffectively.

Foster and adoptive parents know the struggle all too well—the same behaviors repeating despite countless corrections. But what if the key isn't what you say during correction, but what you've established beforehand?

Drawing from neuroscience and trauma-informed approaches, this episode reveals the four non-negotiable steps required before any effective correction: regulation, trust, connection, and instruction. I break down why your nervous system must calm before you can help regulate your child's, and how co-regulation creates the biological foundation for receptive listening.

You'll discover practical techniques like "Yes Jars" that build attachment cycles with resistant children, and understand why connection feels so difficult when a child pushes away (hint: it's your brain's reciprocity response protecting you from rejection). Most importantly, you'll learn why teaching expected behaviors during calm moments is essential—because correction without instruction is just punishment.

Whether you're struggling with a child who seems to resist every boundary or simply want to make your guidance more effective, these foundational principles will transform your approach to discipline. Your patience and consistency in these four areas creates the safety necessary for lasting behavioral change.

Ready to see correction that actually sticks? Start with just one of these principles this week and watch what happens. Share this episode with another foster or adoptive parent who needs this encouragement—because even when change isn't visible yet, your impact is real.

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Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

We explore the critical importance of healing for foster and adoptive parents, emphasizing how past experiences shape our parenting. Understanding ourselves allows us to nurture our children effectively while providing the love they need.

• Exploring the concept of healing and being a steady presence
• The impact of past traumas on parenting styles
• The significance of understanding how childhood shapes our view of God
• Strategies for prioritizing health and emotional well-being
• Insights on creating a nurturing environment for children with trauma
• Encouragement for listeners to start their healing journey

If you found this episode helpful at all, I'd love for you to leave a review. It helps so much for this podcast to be found by other foster and adoptive parents.

Wellness IG Account: https://www.instagram.com/fosterwellnesscoach/

6 Week Challenge: https://stan.store/nicoletbarlow/p/6-week-coaching-group 

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

We explore the complexities of foster care and adoption and the emotional toll trauma takes on families, emphasizing the importance of candid conversations about these challenges. Anna Bernacki shares her personal journey through adoption and how faith has guided her family.

• The importance of discussing difficult topics within foster care 
• Differences between crisis hospitalization and residential treatment 
• Navigating shame and guilt in parenting from hard places 
• The role of faith in coping with challenges 
• How to support other family members when one child is absent 
• Encouragement for parents feeling overwhelmed or isolated 

If you know somebody that is facing similar challenges, would you send them this episode? 

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

The latest episode explores the multifaceted challenges of foster care and adoption, inviting listeners to engage with the often unspoken truths of this journey. By addressing hard topics with compassion, the episode emphasizes the importance of validating the experiences of caregivers and children alike while encouraging open conversations.

• Validating the difficulty of foster care without diminishing its beauty 
• Acknowledging the impact of trauma on children in care 
• Recognizing the complexities of bonding with foster children 
• Balancing the goals of reunification with concerns for child safety 
• Navigating conflicting feelings during goodbyes 
• Identifying the difference between primary and secondary trauma in caregivers 

Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it, and if you haven't yet, leave a review so we can keep having these important conversations.

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

This episode explores the spiritual warfare that foster parents face as they navigate their unique challenges. By emphasizing the importance of guarding our minds, nurturing relationships, prioritizing self-care, and cultivating gratitude, we equip ourselves to combat discouragement and support each other through this journey.

• Understanding spiritual warfare in the context of foster care 
• The significance of filling our minds with God's truth 
• Importance of nurturing marital and community relationships 
• Necessity of self-care for spiritual and emotional resilience 
• Strategies for guarding our hearts against negativity and despair

Couple's Wellness Challenge: 

https://stan.store/nicoletbarlow/p/couples-challenge 

Sign up for my newsletter! 

https://nicoletbarlow.myflodesk.com/fosterparentwellnewsletter 

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

Overwhelming exhaustion is a challenge that many foster and adoptive parents experience, often without acknowledgment. This episode discusses burnout's signs, neurological impact, and practical steps toward healing and renewal. 
• Exploring the definition of burnout what it looks like in parents
• Recognizing signs indicating a move in that direction
• Addressing emotional detachment and the inclination to check out 
• Discussing diminished desire to connect with children 
• Identifying physical symptoms of burnout and health concerns 
• Offering practical steps to combat burnout 

If this episode resonated with you, would you share it with a friend?

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

The episode dives deep into the challenges foster parents face, emphasizing the necessity of grace for both parents and children. It explores the importance of self-care amidst stress and the transformative power of faith through the story of the Prodigal Son. 

• Sharing personal struggles with stress and parenting 
• The vital need for self-care among caregivers 
• Insights from the Prodigal Son story and its relevance 
• Encouragement to embrace God’s unconditional love 
• Strategies for managing stress and health as a parent 
• Invitation for community support and prayer interactions

Verses to read over:
Psalm 107:8-9
Romans 5:8
1 John 4:16
Psalm 86:15
1 John 3:1
1 Chronicles 16:34
Zephaniah 3:17
1 John 4:19

6 Week Coaching Program: https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=nicolebarlow 

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

Jonna Stein's "Untangling Hope" beautifully captures the intricate emotions of a foster child navigating trauma and the longing for belonging. In our discussion, we explore themes of empathy, understanding trauma, and the importance of fostering conversations about these experiences among parents, children, and their communities.

• Exploring the journey of a foster child in "Untangling Hope"
• Understanding the difference between fitting in and belonging
• Importance of compassion in caregiving
• Insights into a child's perspective on trauma and resilience
• Facilitation of dialogue about foster care in families and communities
• Call for empathy and education about experiences of children in care

Links:
Johnnastein.com

Promise686.org

Order the Book: https://www.amazon.com/Untangling-Hope-Johnna-Stein/dp/B0CY2B1TRB

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

Chef Kibby shares how he uses food and hunger as a language of connection, drawing from 25 years of culinary expertise and 16 years as a foster and adoptive dad. Discover his unique perspective on how the simple act of cooking can bridge gaps and build lasting relationships. With personal anecdotes and biblical insights, we explore how food has been historically used as a relational tool and how you can implement these practices in your own home.

The conversation uncovers the hidden emotional needs that surface at the dinner table, where food becomes more than just nourishment. We address the emotional and physiological hunger that children from challenging backgrounds experience and how parents can recognize and fulfill these needs. By focusing on inclusion rather than perfection, we can transform everyday kitchen interactions into powerful bonding moments that go beyond just eating.

Empowering children by giving them a voice in everyday decisions, like choosing pizza toppings, can significantly enhance their sense of agency and emotional well-being. We discuss practical ways parents can create environments where children feel heard and valued. As we close, we invite you to explore additional resources, including our Hunger for Connection podcast, and offer a heartfelt prayer for guidance and peace in fostering meaningful connections through the universal language of food.

Find Chef Kibby:
Main website - https://chefkibby.com
Hunger for Connection Podcast - Spotify Apple iHeart Amazon Music YouTube
Listen to my song Fostering Joy on Spotify

Mentioned in the show:
TBRI: https://child.tcu.edu/about-us/tbri/#sthash.9fvSeXaK.dpbs

Get my FREE 2025 Priorities Guide: https://stan.store/nicoletbarlow/p/get-the-priority-reset-guide-now

January 27th Wellness Coaching Group: https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=nicolebarlow

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

Every holiday season as a foster or adoptive parent is a rollercoaster of joy and chaos. I've been there, feeling the duality of laughter and meltdowns, and I'm here to share how embracing these mixed emotions can actually enrich our lives and families. In this episode, I reflect on the past year, celebrating the laughter, acknowledging the meltdowns, and setting intentions for a more balanced 2025. Let's talk about the power of saying yes to ourselves so we can better say yes to our children, teaching them the value of self-care by living it out ourselves.

Together, we'll explore practical ways to incorporate movement and strength training into hectic lives, and the importance of nutrition in maintaining energy and preventing burnout. From the simplicity of a daily walk to the impact of choosing whole foods, every small decision counts. As we step into the new year, we'll also focus on spiritual growth, setting priorities that align with wisdom and nurture our families with love and grace. Join me in a prayer of strength and guidance, and let’s enter 2025 with renewed faith, purpose, and a commitment to self-care that supports our parenting journeys.

2025 Priority Reset Guide:
https://stan.store/nicoletbarlow/p/get-the-priority-reset-guide-now

6 Week Coaching Group:
https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=nicolebarlow

Register for Priorities Webinar on January 21st!
https://stan.store/nicoletbarlow/p/join-me-to-set-our-priorities--goals-for-2025 

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/