Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My husband and I had a swift match and placement in December. When we were presented with the case, all that was reported for drug use was smoking 12 cigarettes a day. After about a month of trying to get medical records from the hospital for my pediatrician, I discovered my baby’s meconium tested positive for meth. This lab test resulted on Monday, and we were released from the hospital the Friday before, so no one told us about this result. The agency got me the medical records and didn’t mention them when sending them to me. I was also told the birth mom had prenatal care when the medical records say spotty prenatal care.     I was shocked when I came across the lab results. We met both of my son’s birth parents a couple of times while in the hospital and had good visits. My husband is usually very good at identifying people on drugs, but he didn’t suspect anything was amiss. We met our son’s siblings, and they all seemed well cared for. My son also did not appear to go through withdrawals. He was never in the NICU and was released from the hospital 2 days after birth. He was of a healthy weight and had excellent Apgar scores. I know I would have passed on this case if I knew meth was involved and so in a way this is a blessing because I love my son and am so glad we were selected to parent him, but I feel some trust has broken between us and his birth parents. I text them weekly with photos and small updates, but I can’t help but feel a little resentful (to both the birth parents and the agency). How do you suggest I deal with this situation? 

Resources:

• Raising a Child with Prenatal Substance Exposure (Resource page)
• Evaluating Risk Factors in Adoption (Resource page)
• Creating a Family Online Support Group

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you raising a mixed-race child? Join our conversation with Nicole Doyley, a biracial woman raising biracial kids, and the author of What About the Children: 5 Values for Multiracial Families.

• Terminology: what is preferred-biracial, mixed race, multi-racial, mixed?
• Biracial includes Black/White, Black/Asian, White/Asian, Hispanic/Black, Indigenous/Black/Hispanic. In this interview, we are talking about mixed-race, but families can also be mixed culturally.
• Is it true that mixed-race is the fastest-growing group in the US?
• Issues facing biracial people in the US. Based on personal experience as well as a 2020 Vox Survey of Mixed Americans.
  • No man’s land of racelessness
  • Having to always answer the question “What are you?”
  • Not fully accepted by either race
  • Wanting to ditch one race so as to be fully the other race
  • Feeling isolated
  • Confused identity
  • Rejecting the idea of having to fit into just one box 
• As a child, you didn’t like the ambiguity that biracial brought to your life. You say you felt a “two-ness”. But you came to view being of mixed race as a blessing rather than a curse. Why, as a child did it feel uncomfortable to you and how did you grow to accept it?
• Do you think a mixed-race adopted or foster child being raised by parents of a different race from them but the same shared race with each other will face different challenges? 
• In the past, it was common to tell adoptive/foster/grandparents that the world was going to treat their child as Black (or another race), so you should focus your efforts on raising a Black child and not emphasize their other race. People in the US see race first. How should parents handle it?
• Does it matter if the child’s dominant features make her look like she fits more squarely in one race?
• 5 values for raising a biracial child:
  • Awareness
  • Humility
  • Diversity
  • Honesty
  • Exploration
• Benefits/advantages to being mixed-race:
  • Can function in both majority and minority environments
• Tips for Raising a Mixed-Race Child

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: For three months now, we’ve been fostering our 17-year-old son, with the intention of adopting. My question is regarding attachment. How can you tell if the child is setting up boundaries or testing you to see how hard you’ll pursue/run after them?

Resources:

• Creating and Cultivating Attachment (Resource page)
• Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource page)
• Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource page)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you a professional working with kinship caregivers? You need to listen to this interview with Dr. Tyreasa Washington, is a nationally and internationally recognized scholar specializing in kinship care families (e.g., grandparents raising grandchildren). She is a Distinguished Senior Scholar for Child Welfare at Child Trends, the leading research organization in the United States focused solely on improving the lives of children, youth, and families.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Advantages of keeping children with extended family when their parents are not able to raise them.
• How do kids who are raised temporarily or permanently by relatives fare compared to kids placed with unknown foster parents?
• One of the biggest questions we receive from professionals is how to engage kinship caregivers. They tell us that they set up programs to support kinship caregivers, but few show up. This seems universal. Why does this happen?
• We also hear about institutional trauma-(law enforcement struggles/foster care system struggles- leads to lack of trust--not feeling safe in their community, not trusting DSS.) How does this impact kinship caregivers? How does it impact those of us trying to serve them?
• What types of support are the most helpful?
• What are some cultural differences you've observed in Black relatives raising children within the family, and how do these differences impact how professionals interact with kin raising children?
• What have you found in your research on the impact of caregiving on the health of kinship caregivers?
• Need for training for kinship caregivers.
• How can professionals support self-care with folks who are so busy just getting by?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: How can prospective parents manage their thoughts and emotions while waiting to be matched with a child (especially in cases where the waiting period is a long one)?

Resources:

• Suggested Books for Adoption
• Coping Mechanisms for the Waiting (Article)
• Creating a Family Online Support Group

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you considering adopting from foster care or becoming a foster parent? Join us to discuss this topic with Dr. Lindsay Terrell, a pediatrician and Assistant Professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Duke University Medical Center, as well as the Clinical Director of their Foster Care Clinic. She and her husband are licensed foster parents.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The common risk factors that foster parents and those wanting to adopt from foster care need to be aware of include physical, emotional, developmental, educational, and behavioral problems rooted in childhood adversity and trauma. 
• What types of trauma are foster kids exposed to? 
• What percentage of children in foster care have been exposed to drugs or alcohol prenatally? Creating a Family’s Prenatal Substance Exposure Workshop for Parents
• Impact of trauma on physical health.
  • Foster parents and caseworkers often have little information about prior health history.
• Other common physical health issues that are common in kids in foster care that are not necessarily connected to trauma.
• Impact of trauma on mental health.
  • Those areas of the brain most affected by trauma, especially early trauma, are those involved in stress response, emotional regulation, attention, cognition, executive function, and memory. 
  • What types of behaviors are common as a result of trauma?
• Medication and over-medication of foster children and youth.
  • Research has found that the average number of psychiatric diagnoses and psychotropic medications prescribed were significantly greater for youth and children in foster care.
  • Children in foster care are likely to be kept on them longer than other Medicaid-enrolled children who are not in foster care.
  • What are psychotropic drugs, and why are they so often prescribed for children in foster care?
• Who has the authority to make healthcare decisions for foster children and youth?
• Sleep issues common to children in foster care.
• Food issues common to children in foster care. 
• Impact of trauma on a foster child’s education.
  • Children in foster care need educational advocates.
• Risk factors to consider for children already in the home. 
• Children can heal, and foster parents can make a difference!

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: On the 2025 Adoption Tax Credit Episode, it was mentioned that they thought this would possibly be the year it becomes refundable. Does that only apply to finalizations in 2025, or will it make previous adoptions (if within the 5-year tax credit range) refundable too? For example, an adoption finalized in 2023 but we haven’t used all of the tax credit available. Does the remaining amount become refundable, too? ~Oklahoma City, OK

Resources:

• Understanding the Adoption Tax Credit
• AdoptionTaxCredit.org
• Josh Kroll, Families Rising ([email protected])

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you considering fostering but are concerned about how it impacts the kids already living in your home? Join us for a conversation with Michelle Snyder, a foster, adoptive, and bio mom, and her son, Ben, to hear their stories of fostering and how it impacted their family. They are co-authors of Beyond Blood: How Being a Foster Brother Shattered My World and Rebuilt It.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Ben - How old were you when your parents sat you down to talk about fostering?
  • Do you remember how it felt to consider that a child could not safely live with his or her family?
  • What do you remember about the time when your family was preparing, taking classes, getting licensed, etc.?
• Michelle - When you and your husband felt the desire to begin fostering, what were your biggest concerns?
  • What considerations about fostering gave you pause, considering you had two young kids already in your home?
  • How did you and your husband handle those concerns or issues?
• Ben - Can you briefly share the story of your family’s first placement? We’d love to also hear how you think it impacted you and what you took from that experience for the coming placements. 
• Ben - What are some of the benefits or advantages you have seen in your development to young adulthood that you can directly trace to being part of this fostering and adoption journey?
• Character traits your family developed as you faced those challenges. Can you share a short example for a couple of them?
  • Compassion 
  • Perseverance
  • Ability to Adapt/Change
  • Perspective
• Ben’s diagnoses (“twice exceptional”):
  • What did you learn about yourself in that process?
  • How do you feel your unique combination of diagnoses equipped you well for being a foster brother? 
• Saying no to a placement
  • Learning how to say no when you know it’s not the right time or circumstance to say yes to a foster placement? How did you develop that skill?
  • Ben, what did you learn from your parents over the years about the value of knowing when to say yes, and when it’s okay to say no?
• The value of respite for your family and offering it to other foster families
• What practical tips can families implement to prepare for a new placement of a foster, newly adopted, or relative child in their home?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: How do I respond in the moment when my child is melting down, including physical or verbal aggression? 

Resources:

• Practical Tips to Help Your Kids Manage Stress
• The Ideal Response: How to Maintain Connection When Correcting Your Child
• How to Maintain Connection When Your Child Struggles with Anger

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Have you thought about adopting a baby, but long for the experience of being pregnant, or want to control the intrauterine environment? Join us for this fascinating discussion about embryo donation/adoption with Dr. Craig Sweet with Embryo Donation International, Mark Mellinger with the National Embryo Donation Center, and Beth Button with the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The IVF process.
• Remaining embryos.
• Donating to another person.
• How to find embryos available for donation?
• What is the medical process of embryo donation/embryo adoption?
• What is the success rate of having a baby through a donated embryo? What factors influence the success rate?
• What percentage of donated embryos are created via donor egg or sperm?
• What information is available about the embryos and the donors?
• Can you have twins via embryo donation if that is your preference?
• Does it matter how long they’ve been frozen?
• Are pregnancies conceived through donated embryos considered high-risk?
• Are there long-term health risks for children conceived via frozen embryos?
• What is the legal process for embryo donation/embryo adoption? 
  • Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys
• Is there a matching process? Do you have a choice regarding what embryos you receive?
• Do the people who donate the embryo continue to have a legal connection to the child? Do they have legal rights to see the child, contact the child, or take the child back?
• Openness after the birth? What is the relationship between the embryo donor and the person who receives the embryo and the child conceived? 
• Is the contact information shared between both parties?
• How much does embryo donation/embryo adoption cost?
• What factors influence the cost?
• Can you use your local infertility clinic to perform the transfer?
• LGBTQ+ and single parents
• What should you consider when choosing a clinic or organization to facilitate embryo donation/ adoption?
• How to talk with children conceived through embryo donation/embryo adoption about their conception?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building