What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

By Margaret Ables and Amy WilsonComedy Parenting Kids & Family

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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms episodes

October 07When Kids Hate Transitions
Why do some kids completely fall apart when it’s time to leave the playground, get ready for school, or switch activities? We dive into why transitions are particularly difficult for some kids and what parents can do to make them easier.
Here's what we discuss in this episode:
how anxiety, ADHD, autism, and OCD can cause unique issues with transitions

reframing a child’s behavior as a "signal" to help parents focus on the underlying problem

how parents can validate emotions while still setting clear boundaries

practical strategies for helping kids transition, including verbal "previews," visual schedules and timers, and predictable routines
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Our Fresh Take with Dr. Siggie Cohen

Our Fresh Take with Dr. Stacy Haynes

Katherine Martinelli for the Child Mind Institute: Why Do Kids Have Trouble With Transitions?

Claire Lerner for Psychology Today: The Trouble With Transitions

Kristine Cain for Building Bright Futures blog: Why Some Children Struggle More with Transitions Than Others

Lerner Child Development: The Trouble With Transitions: Why They Are So Hard For Some Kids And How To Help

Houston Family Therapy Associates: Why Kids Resist Transitions (and How to Help)

Lerner Child Development: How "Two-Great Choices" Prevents Power Struggles

Dr. Michael Sweeney

Visual timer for kids

Hourglass timer

Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
44 min
October 05 Deep Dive: Is This Battle Worth Fighting?
This Deep Dive series is all about reducing the friction between ourselves and our kids when trying to communicate with them, whether it's yelling less, finding real reasons for constant defiance, or picking our battles.
Parenting is a series of everyday battles. But which ones are truly worth fighting? In this episode we discuss the Sisyphean nature of the overuse of the word 'like', to a cleaned-up playroom, to the unending struggle of getting tweens to wear pants—and which of these battles might be 1) winnable and 2) worth the work.
Some things really do matter for the long-term success of our kids (and peace of our households); some might be worth letting go in order to let our kids have that win once in a while. In this episode, we unpack how to tell the difference.
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
43 min
October 02Fresh Take: Dr. Siggie Cohen on Setting Boundaries Without Dismissing Kids' Feelings
We want our kids to feel validated and heard. We also don't want to engage in five-hour negotiations every time they have to do something they don't want to do. Where's the happy middle?
Child development specialist Dr. Siggie Cohen, author of YOU ARE THE PARENT, explains how parents can create a balanced approach. Dr. Cohen explains why well-intentioned parents can end up overexplaining, over-fixing, over-advising, and trying too hard to prevent their children from experiencing difficult emotions.
Dr. Cohen and Margaret discuss:
The difference between validating emotions and accommodating behavior

Why children need to learn both emotional awareness and the ability to function even when they don't feel like doing something

How parents can respond when kids are overwhelmed and why stopping inappropriate behavior doesn't mean stopping the emotion behind it

Why happiness shouldn't be the ultimate goal for children

How to make true, authentic repair after parenting mistakes
Here's where you can find Dr. Cohen:
https://drsiggie.com

@dr.siggie on IG, FB, and YouTube

@parenting.with.dr.siggie on TikTok

Free resources on her website, including her newsletter signup

Buy YOU ARE THE PARENT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063448643
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
44 min
September 30Which Behaviors Should You Fix and Which Should You ignore?
Which kid behaviors need to be addressed in the moment—and which are better ignored? We discuss when to fix behavior and when to let it go, from whining and backtalk to tantrums and other attention-seeking behavior.
Topics include:
How to reduce power struggles while still establishing clear rules and boundaries

Why target behaviors should be specific and observable

How to set expectations before challenging behavior happens

Practical strategies for handling difficult behavior in public

Knowing when a child's behavior is really a signal of an unmet need
This episode includes advice from the Child Mind Institute's Complete Guide to Managing Behavior Problems.
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
45 min
September 28Deep Dive: When One Family Member's Moods Are Running the House
This Deep Dive series is all about reducing the friction between ourselves and our kids when trying to communicate with them, whether it's yelling less, finding real reasons for constant defiance, or picking our battles.
What do we do when one of our kid's moods is affecting everyone else in the house? Whether it's anxiety, frustration, rigidity, or plain old temper tantrums, understanding where it's coming from is the first step. But even when we don't allow emotions to be an excuse poor behavior, that misbehavior can happen anyhow—and walking on eggshells is no way to teach the dysregulated person better emotional skills.
In this episode, we discuss:
the sometimes hidden needs of the other kids in the house

why "fair" is not the same thing as "equal"

the single most important factor for positive family well-being
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Our episode ⁠"When One of Our Kids Is Taking All Our Bandwidth"⁠

Nicole Schwarz for ⁠imperfectfamilies.com⁠: ⁠When The Siblings of a Difficult Child Feel Ignored⁠

Leigh Anderson for Lifehacker: ⁠What to Do If Your Child's Behavior Is Ruining Your Relationship With Your Partner⁠

Pamela Li for Parenting for Bain: ⁠Emotional Regulation in Children | A Complete Guide⁠

Jane Indergaard for ADHD Newsstand: ⁠It's Never About Me: The Hidden Needs of Siblings⁠
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
45 min
September 25Fresh Take: Fran Hauser on How to Make Time for What Actually Matters
How much of your time is actually going toward what matters most to you? Career expert and author Fran Hauser joins us to talk about her new book, 20 MINUTES IS THE NEW HOUR, and how women can rethink their relationship with time.
We discuss:
The “four Ps” that can quietly consume our time: perfectionism, people-pleasing, procrastination, and padding

Applying these ideas to family life

How a “to-don't” list can help you get your priorities in order

The difference between chronos (clock and calendar time) and kairos (the quality and experience of time)
Here's where you can find Fran:
https://franhauser.com

@fran_hauser on IG and Threads

Buy 20 MINUTES IS THE NEW HOUR from Bedford Books: https://www.bedfordbooks.shop/store/p/20minutes
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
36 min
September 23Transitions
We want our kids to grow and stretch their wings, but that doesn't mean every milestone is easy for parents. We talk about the complicated emotions that come with parenting transitions, from starting school to getting a driver's license to moving into a first apartment.
We discuss:
Why a child's growing independence can bring sadness, anxiety, nostalgia, and even a loss of identity for parents

The "second arrow of suffering," aka beating yourself up for having perfectly normal feelings about your kids' milestones

How to talk about your emotions without making your child responsible for them

Practical ways to navigate difficult transitions during parenting

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
CDC: Tips for Encouraging Independence

Collischon, Matthias, et. al for the Advances in Life Course research Journal: Parental well-being when children move out: A panel study on short- and long-term effects

American Psychological Association: Parents and caregivers are essential to children’s healthy development

Hartanto, Andree, et. al for the Communications Psychology Journal:
Cultural contexts differentially shape parents’ loneliness and wellbeing during the empty nest period
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
48 min
September 21DEEP DIVE: What Happened to My Sweet Child?
This Deep Dive series is all about reducing the friction between ourselves and our kids when trying to communicate with them, whether it's yelling less, finding real reasons for constant defiance, or picking our battles.
Why do formerly-sunny kids turn overnight into little tornadoes of defiance and aggression? A listener posted this question in our Facebook group:
My four-year-old daughter has recently developed a special, defiant, boundary-testing, aggressive version of herself that she saves only for me. I can’t make sense of it at all. WFH, send help!
In this episode, we explain why
these sudden onsets of periods of dysregulation are completely normal

almost every kid will go through this—and a lot of four-year-olds, although not they do not have exclusive ownership of this sort of behavior

and why most kids alternate between periods of regulation and dysregulation repeatedly as they grow and mature.
These difficult stretches don't mean you're doing anything wrong as a parent. They don't mean you need to lock everything down because your kid will be a tornado forever. But they also don't mean mean you need to become the 24/7 punching bag for your dysregulated kid. Here's what to do instead.
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Rebecca Onion for Slate: ⁠Why These Child Psych Books From the 1980s Are All Over Parenting Facebook Groups Today⁠

Allana Robinson for Mom Halo: ⁠Here's why your 4 year old's behaviour is out of control⁠

Uncommon Sense Parenting with Allana Robinson: ⁠What Exactly Is Stress?⁠

Louise Bates Ames: ⁠Your Four-Year-Old: Wild and Wonderful⁠

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/hell or use code HELL and get 70% off your first year!

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
43 min
September 18Fresh Take: Dr. Thomas Phelan on What Parents Should Know About Misophonia
Why do ordinary sounds like chewing, slurping, or pen-tapping trigger intense averse reactions in some people? And what does a parent do when it's her own kid screaming at her for having a case of the sniffles?
Clinical psychologist Dr. Thomas W. Phelan, author of STOP THAT CHEWING! joins Amy to explain the neurophysiological underpinnings of misophonia, why it can be so difficult for sufferers and their families, and how to stop this involuntary response from completely disrupting your family life.
Dr. Phelan and Amy discuss:
Why anxiety, OCD, ARFID, and other neurological manifestations often accompany misophonia

Why siblings and parents (especially fathers) are most likely to be triggers

The impact of misophonia on relationships, school, work, and social life
Practical ways to manage misophonia triggers and work towards sustainable solutions
Here's where you can find Dr. Phelan:
https://www.123magic.com

https://stopthatchewing.com

Buy STOP THAT CHEWING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9798995697824
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
37 min
September 16Why Our Friendships Stall (and How to Fix It)
Why does it feel harder than ever to get together with our friends? Why does every "we should hang out soon!" in a group text feel destined to peter out before it actually happens?
In this episode, we explore the modern “friendship recession" that started during the pandemic and hasn't changed back.
We discuss:
the surprising finding that the quantity of one's friendships matters at least as much as the quality

how to set the bar for in-person gatherings a little lower

why having three old friends is good, but bringing new people in migh be even better

practical ways to build more connection into everyday life
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Kathleen Walsh for The Cut: "I Should Be Allowed to Cold-Call My Friends”

Erica Pandey for Axios: Americans of all ages are spending less time socializing

Derek Thompson for The Atlantic: The Anti-Social Century

Russell Contreras for Axios: 15,000 churches could close this year amid religious shift in U.S.

Daniel A. Cox for Survey Center on American Life blog: Yes, Having More Friends is Better

Daniel A. Cox for Survey Center on American Life newsletter:
America’s “Friendship Recession” Is Weakening Civic Life

H.K. Collins, et. al. for the Proceedings of the Natural Academy of Sciences: Relational diversity in social portfolios predicts well-being

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/hell or use code HELL and get 70% off your first year!

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
43 min

About What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

From the publisher's feed

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard.