Overfunctioning is usually defined as taking on excess responsibility for other people’s feelings, issues, and tasks. And it's usually presumed to be tied to anxiety. IF someone's overfunctioning, it's either a symptom of or cause of the panic assumed to be lying just underneath.

But are we "overfunctioning" when we're doing our absolutely regular amount of way-too-much as a parent? Does anxiety have to have anything to do with it?

In this episode, we're talking about

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

And in response to this week's mailbag, here are a few of our past episodes specifically relevant to single / solo parenting:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

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This "Deep Dive" series revisits a few of our past episodes on back-to-school challenges such as the morning rush, school projects which require lots of parental oversight, and how to help our kids navigate intensifying academic pressure.

Two recent national studies underlined that there's a surprising group of children at risk for worse mental health outcomes: kids who go to high-achieving schools. How do we protect our kids from the pressures all around them to succeed at any cost? ⁠Jennifer Wallace⁠, author of the book ⁠Never Enough⁠, shows us how to teach our kids that they matter intrinsically.

Jennifer Wallace is an award-winning journalist and a frequent contributor to the Wall Street Journal and the Washington Post. She lives in New York City with her husband and their three teenagers.

Amy, Margaret, and Jennifer discuss:

Here's where you can find Jennifer:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

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Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/hell or use code HELL and get 70% off your first year!

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What if the proven decline in the mental health of today's adolescents isn't just about phones and screen time? What if academic pressure and "achievement culture" is the real driver of the increase in anxiety and depression today's teens are experiencing?

Dr. Stuart Slavin, pediatrician and author of THE SUCCESS TRAP, explains just how widespread academic pressure and "achievement culture" in the United States has become— not just in fancy schools on the coasts, and not just in high school, either.

Amy and Dr. Slavin discuss:

Here's where you can find Dr. Slavin:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

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When is it useful for our kids to hear about our own life experiences—including situations caused by our own bad decision-making?

When does it become oversharing, or get too personal or inappropriate?

We discuss how to know how much to tell our kids, and how to have useful difficult conversations, including:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

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This "Deep Dive" series revisits a few of our past episodes on back-to-school challenges such as the morning rush, school projects which require lots of parental oversight, and how to help our kids navigate intensifying academic pressure.

Linda Flanagan is a journalist, researcher, and a former cross-country and track coach. She's also a founding board member of the Positive Coaching Alliance and an Advisory Group member for the Aspen Institute’s Reimagining Sports initiative. Flanagan's book is ⁠TAKE BACK THE GAME: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids' Sports--and Why It Matters⁠. Linda tells Amy and Margaret what forces conspired to make the youth sports landscape the way it is today.

In this episode, Linda, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

Here's where you can find Linda:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

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What does it really mean to become an active participant in the care of your own health? In this episode, Margaret talks with primary care physician Dr. Lucy McBride about her new book, Beyond the Prescription: A Doctor’s Guide to Taking Charge of Your Health. They discuss how to become a more self-aware and empowered patient, as well as:

Here's where you can find Dr. McBride:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Feeling overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done? If you're the person who keeps track of the appointments, school forms, groceries, household repairs, gifts, kids' activities, and all the little things that seem to live permanently in your head, you may not need to get better at managing your workload—you may need to outsource some of it.

We tackle a listener question about how to outsource the household workload without having pockets deep enough for full-time help. We talk about why outsourcing can actually feel like more work at first, how to decide what to hand over, and how to get other people to truly take responsibility instead of simply giving you another task to manage.

Here are links to some of the resources discussed in the episode:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

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This "Deep Dive" series revisits a few of our past episodes on back-to-school challenges such as the morning rush, school projects which require lots of parental oversight, and how to help our kids navigate intensifying academic pressure.

So many of us spend hours chauffeuring our kids back and forth to their myriad activities. Why are kids so overloaded with activities these days, and can we get off of this ride? Here are some parenting strategies for navigating this issue.

Amy and Margaret discuss:

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

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We think of rewarding kids as a surefire way to get the behavior we want. But what if rewards mainly serve to underline our children's intrinsic drive to succeed? Dr. Özgür Bolat, education scientist and author of The Reward Trap: Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science for Motivating Kids, explains why rewarding kids may actually undermine their motivation in the long run.

As Dr. Bolat explains, there's a difference between motivation and compliance. Rewards can get children to do something, but they don't necessarily create the ownership, engagement, or intrinsic motivation parents actually want.

In this episode, we discuss:

Here's where you can find Dr. Bolat:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

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What happens when one child’s needs take up most of a family’s attention? Even when parents are doing their best, it can be easy for another child to quietly become the “easy” one—the independent kid, the high achiever, the people-pleaser who never seems to need anything.

In this episode, we discuss:

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices