Raising Boys & Girls

The episode moves the Capable series from strengths to skills, which are things kids have to be taught and practice, like tying their shoes. Managing emotions comes first. Sissy and David ask parents to notice their own reflex when a child is upset. Are they a fixer, a matcher, a minimizer, or a regulator? They point to research on co-regulation showing that kids borrow an adult’s steadiness before they can calm themselves. From there they walk through the steps: name the feeling (“name it to tame it”), validate it without approving the behavior, and skip the lecture while a child’s “downstairs brain” is in charge. A code word chosen ahead of time and a family list of 20 calming strategies both help. One memorable example is a fifth grader who prayed through the alphabet to fall asleep. The episode ends with a “try this at home” challenge for parents to notice their own patterns and to ask their kids, “What helps your feelings not feel quite so big?”

Resources mentioned:

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See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

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Sissy and David sit down in New York with Craig Melvin to talk about his book Pops, a love letter to his father, who is now in recovery after 15 years of addiction. Craig shares how growing up with an absent dad made him and his wife Lindsay put being present first, even though they sometimes overcorrect. His reminder to his family is “if everything is special, nothing is special.” He talks about helping his kids find their people, and about how years of covering tragedy taught him that the hills and valleys are what build resilience. He hopes his kids will someday remember the awkward bedtime talks and beach walks more than the big VIP moments.

Resources mentioned:

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Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Order our new book, Capable, here!!

See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form.

BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply.

QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.

AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro.

CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution.

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Gratitude can sound like the soft strength in the capability series. Sissy and David argue it’s an essential one, because it teaches kids to hold two realities at once instead of pretending the hard thing isn’t there. They warn against “you should be grateful” responses that shut down emotions and can leave kids feeling shame. Instead, they encourage parents to let feelings have room before helping kids “widen the lens.” Sissy shares how her family’s “wow” practice, borrowed from Kathryn Price’s “delight” finger, now has four-year-old Whit stopping to notice joy at Disney. The hosts offer concrete ideas: name gratitude out loud, ask fresh questions, use “and” instead of “but,” make a gratitude album, write a gratitude letter, and do a gratitude scavenger hunt. They close with a challenge for this week: ask your family “What was hard today, and what was good today?” Then just listen.

Resources mentioned:

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Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Order our new book, Capable, here!!

See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form.

BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply.

QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.

AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro.

CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution.

HIYA: Visit hiyahealth.com/rbg for 50% off your first order.

OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off sitewide.

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As part of the Strengths, Skills, and Strategies podcast season, NBC's Vicky Nguyen shares her family's escape from Vietnam by boat and how growing up as the perpetual "new kid" built her grit. Now she and her husband "manufacture hardship" for their three daughters, like having their middle daughter tell her Taekwondo master herself that she was quitting, because "I can't pedal the bike for you and expect you to learn how to ride it." She also explains why she praises effort over achievement and how parents can help kids face scary news: ask questions first, don't over-explain, and model calm.

Resources mentioned:

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Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Order our new book, Capable, here!!

See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form.

BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply.

QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.

AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro.

CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution.

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In this episode, Sissy and David explore how kids build perseverance by sticking with hard things, and how parents can stay close without stepping in to rescue them. David tells the story of a freshman cross-country runner who finished her first meet long after everyone else, cheered in by teammates who ran back onto the course for her. They share practical ideas: let kids be beginners, look for small everyday chances to keep going, and ask whether it's your child or you who needs relief. They close with Romans 5 and a challenge to tell your kids one of your own unpolished perseverance stories this week.

Resources mentioned:

. . . . . . 

Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Order our new book, Capable, here!!

See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form.

BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply.

QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.

AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro.

CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution.

HIYA: Visit hiyahealth.com/rbg for 50% off your first order.OUR PLACE: Visit fromourplace.com/rbg and use code RBG for 10% off sitewide,

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amy Julia Becker explains why measuring kids against developmental milestones makes children with disabilities look incapable, and why asking "what's the next small step toward growth?" shows how capable they really are. She describes letting love "wrap around" fear and helping kids feel wanted, valued, and needed. She also shares how person-centered goal-setting turned 12-year-old Penny's dream of living with friends in Chicago into "Mondays, Penny does her own laundry." Her advice for overwhelmed parents is to pick one overwhelming thing, ask "who could help me?", and take one small step toward that person.

Resources mentioned:

. . . . . . 

Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Order our new book, Capable, here!!

See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form.

BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply.

QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.

AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro.

CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution.THE ABSORPTION COMPANY: Visit absorbmore.com and use code RBG for up to 35% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sissy and David open with a "How Flexible Are You Really?" quiz and explain that flexibility is what happens after disappointment. They say they've never seen kids, or parents, struggle with it this much, and they connect rigidity to anxiety's need for certainty and to the "control monster." They share four ways to build flexibility: name it, make it fun with low-stakes practice like a flexibility jar or a family points challenge, reward the practice, and model it yourself. They close with the idea that being capable means trusting yourself to find plan B.

Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Order our new book, Capable, here!!

See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form.

BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply.

QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.

AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro.

CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution.

COMPASSION INTERNATIONAL: See where your one yes could lead. Visit compassion.com/rbg today!

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Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons, explains how technology targets boys through their drive for achievement and girls through their need for approval. She describes girls struggling with perfectionism beneath polished exteriors, and boys caught between a culture that treats masculinity as a bad word and a manosphere that turns it into a cartoon. Instead of starting with a digital detox, she urges parents to build "havens" of connection: small shared tasks, side-by-side movement with boys, and seeing girls as their ordinary selves. She closes by reminding girls that they don't have to fit in to belong, because "sovereignty is her liberation."

Resources mentioned:

. . . . . . 

Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Order our new book, Capable, here!!

See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form.

BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply.

QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.

HEY POLO: Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to heypolo.com/raising or use code RAISING and get 70% off your first year!

AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kicking off a new stretch of their Capable series, Sissy Goff and David Thomas explore the strength of competence, distinguishing it from confidence: confidence says "I think I can," competence says "I've done hard things before," and it's built by practicing through real, manageable struggles rather than being rescued from them. They introduce "the capable pause" — asking whether a situation is truly unsafe or just uncomfortable before stepping in illustrated by David's story of coaching his daughter Lily through a recurring conflict with a classmate instead of solving it for her. The episode closes with a challenge to notice one moment this week where you're tempted to intervene, pause, and ask your child, "What do you think you could try?"

Resources mentioned:

. . . . . . 

Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Order our new book, Capable, here!!

See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form.

CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution.

BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply.

QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.

SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today. Plant your first seed and see what God can grow.

HEY POLO: Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to heypolo.com/raising or use code RAISING and get 70% off your first year!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Blake Brewer joins Sissy and David to tell the story of watching his father drown in Hawaii when he was 19, and how a letter his dad had written him, discovered in his briefcase hours later,  anchored him through grief and inspired the Legacy Letter Challenge. He shares what helped him grieve well, from adults who gave him space rather than pressure to still letting himself cry decades later, and reflects on the ripple effects of his dad's words now that he's a husband and father. He outlines the letter-writing process he teaches (apology, love, wisdom, memories) and how it's grown into corporate team-building work with companies like Walmart. He closes by urging listeners not to leave things unsaid, noting that 1 in 11 kids lose a parent or sibling by age 18.

Resources mentioned:

. . . . . . 

Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!

Order our new book, Capable, here!!

See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . . 

If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form.

CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution.

BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply.

QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.

SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today. Plant your first seed and see what God can grow.

HEY POLO: Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to heypolo.com/raising or use code RAISING and get 70% off your first year!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices