Rhythms of Focus

When a language app starts running your day instead of helping you learn, something vital is off. In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore what really helps a wandering mind learn—and where streaks, scores, and mascots quietly get in the way.

We look at why traditional metrics like lesson completion and streak counts so often backfire for adults with ADHD and wandering minds. We then explore how to shift from checkbox-driven learning into a more playful, embodied relationship with language, work, and creative practice. Along the way, we rethink what it means to “make progress” when our real goal is connection, not just completion.

• Redefine success with measures that actually matter to you, like having a warm, real conversation instead of just hitting 80% on a quiz.

• Bring play, feeling, and immersion back into your learning so that words—and work—start to flow instead of fight you.

• Use milestones as gentle trellises rather than rigid rulers, so your attention can grow in its own, more natural rhythm.

This episode also features an original piano composition, “Petty Walk,” a title born from a happy mistake that became its own small act of creative discovery.

If this resonates, we’d love for you to subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to continue exploring calmer, more humane rhythms of focus.

 If I can speak a single sentence in Spanish without my Cuban mother-in-law looking at me funny, I'll consider it a success. Other reasons for the funny looks notwithstanding.

Meanwhile, I've been using this language app for years now, and I continue to struggle.

Curiously on various forums and subreddits, i've read similar concerns.

Hey, this app is no good. I haven't learned the language yet!

I don't believe though that the trouble was the app. Certainly it's not the be all, end all of education. It is crafted quite well, presents things very nicely, and I speak and understand a heck of a lot better than I did before using it.

So what's the trouble?

When Metrics Backfire – Goodhart’s Law in Everyday Learning

The trouble's, the measure. In studying and work and whatever endeavor we engage in, we'd like to have a way to step forward. Complete this. Do that move from here to there. Whatever it is, some measurement comes into play.

The trouble with measuring, though, is how it can disrupt and sometimes even destroy the very thing we are trying to measure. There's a lovely quote, also known as Goodhart's Law, which says,

"when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure."

I would even argue that most of what is meaningful cannot be measured, whether that's about an idea, a diagnosis, a set of symptoms.

But because completion, time, characteristics, these can be measured, they become our default. Whether in learning and communications and our business transactions, we often function through measures.

How much did this make? How much did you do? When will it be done?

Measurements are not bad, but they are tools, and the more powerful the tool, the more caution it requires. When we're not cautious, we don't recognize the potential negative effects, we do so at our own peril. In fact, it may even be abused.

For example, what happens at work when we only check the boxes but do nothing else? We could argue, well, we're getting the work done. What's missing is the spirit, the sense of meaning, what builds from vision and life into a living result, whether product, service, or simply being present in the culture, our existence at work becomes devoid of life.

Consider checking out episode two of this podcast in which George Costanza of Seinfeld displays this problem very nicely. Conversely, when our environments where we work, whether employers or coworkers don't care for more than the checkbox, then doing more in terms of thoroughness and care might even be punished.

Not only is the sense of self rejected, but the vitality is accused of being somehow "extra" or an ass kiss or something that may well make things more difficult for those nearby, even if it would be better in the end for all. The environment becomes hostile to joy and meaning, and even success as defined as a flowing union of play and work.

When we wonder why we're not learning from an application, it might be more useful to consider

where can I bring life and play into this moment rather than aim for the get through the next lesson goal?

Maybe staring at a single sentence in a foreign language and consider, do I know what this means? Can I say it? Can I play with it?

Or could I use it? Does it roll off the tongue? And if not, can I make it do so? What if I played with the words and the sentences until they flowed smoothly? Can I feel the sentence, can I feel it to where I can say it without having to translate it in my mind?

All of this takes time. All of this moves us away from the measure of completing the lesson.

The mascot might get angry and still come after me. It becomes more clear how a measure can actively work against the thing it purports to support. But the milestone or measure is again, not bad in and of itself. In fact, we can now use the milestone of completing a lesson as a framework. A context of support within which we can find that life within the thing.

It's not obvious, and it takes a deliberate focus to do so. It takes that, oh, so difficult. Pause.

But when we pause, we can now consider and envision lean into the challenge to bring our sense of play and care to bear fruit, to have the language take root where a new channel for our voice can now form.

We can further follow that play towards what one Reddit forum runner suggested. Immerse Yourself. Play, often thrives in immersion. We can read magazines, follow the news, speak with others, and more we can follow that playful sense into new realms beyond the app.

Certainly milestones and completion are important. Measurements are important, but play is vitality. And without it, our measures petrify. Whether we complete or pursue and measure by milestone or not, it'll certainly have their consequences.

Arguing for the spirit of play may even be the work of the brave and the work of the brave often fails as without the potential for failure. What bravery was there anyway? But without playing care, forming, filling the vessels of meaning, what have we got?

And of course, we can create our own measures Maybe. I like the idea of being able to measure, having an easy conversation with my mother-in-law. That seems to be a better measure than any.

Today's musical piece was originally titled Pretty Walk, but I mistyped it and it became Petty Walk. I have no idea what a petty walk might be. But I like the error and I decided to keep it. Creativity, after all, is a discovery of what we're making in the act of making it. Errors are often only deviations from some original vision.

Well, here's the piece. I hope you enjoy it.

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

In today’s episode of Rhythms of Focus, we how motivation can seem to slip away when someone else's "should" enters the equation.

Why do wandering minds rebel against orders?

How does honoring our unique mental rhythms restore our sense of agency, especially when ADHD shapes our day to day.

Takeaways:

• Recognize the subtle ways internalized authority undermines our drive—and how to gently reclaim it
• Practice strategies for honoring our past, present, and future selves to smooth task transitions
• Reframe lists and routines as creative allies rather than rigid overseers

This episode features our original contemplative piano piece, “Shallow Breath,” designed to accompany your mindful moments.

Subscribe and join our compassionate community at rhythmsoffocus.com—let’s transform productivity into an art, not a struggle.

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #MindfulProductivity #Neurodivergent #FocusStrategies #SelfCompassion #CreativeProductivity #TaskTransitions #RhythmsOfFocusTranscript

 I might just might do the dishes now. Oh my goodness, I'm getting up. I'm walking over to the dishes. I'm gonna do it.

Suddenly a voice calls from the other room. Hey, you haven't done the dishes in a while. When are you gonna do them?

Uh, I don't feel like doing them anymore. What just happened?

 Sometimes we're right about to do a thing with our own volition. And somebody else suddenly says, Hey, go do the thing, and suddenly our desire to do it is gone. Our sense of agency was, in a sense, attacked wittingly or otherwise. Our hero already struggling with a want of motivation. Whim, or the muse finally had the winds tickling the sails.

When someone else told them to do the very same thing, the desire was gone. Many of us struggle with being told what to do.

Some blame dopamine. There's not enough. It's outta balance. It isn't interesting or urgent enough. Some make a moral accusation of laziness and the like.

However, when we approach from perspective our ourselves as growing human beings, you might recognize an early template at work. When our environments tell us what to do in this out of tune manner, in some way that doesn't quite recognize where we are, we might reject it.

Clean your room when our minds are elsewhere. When any process of transition is ignored rather than guided, doesn't work, it often creates problems.

The lack of empathy may not have been malicious. It was simply a disengaged approach to a mind that wanders, a mind fueled by, and reveling in play, creativity and discovery.

It may not even have been possible. The transition simply too long in whatever the scope of what needed to happen.

But when these things happen over and over, we absorb this message that our natural mental rhythms are somehow wrong, contrasting with the self that clearly exists, regardless of how wrong we accuse it of being and so we rebel.

Unfortunately, we may internalize the rebellion as well, forming a form of reflex, an unconscious ready path of rejection. We rebel against ourselves. The authority within.

How often have you written, write report, or some similar item on a task list? Only to see it later and then say, well, "not now."

Later. Continues to be later, as later always does, and the task languishes until it sinks below the surface or a deadline threatens from the horizon. We saw our past self as this unempathic authority to reject. When we see the task "do dishes" and the like, our emotions swell reflecting the relationships we've internalized.

Without a simultaneous honoring of our past self, caring for our future selves and respect for our present self, we channel and perpetuate the injuries. Our tasks, lists, and shiny new apps only become the medium.

 Today's piece of music is a quiet, contemplative one. It's called shallow breath. I hope you enjoy it. 

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

In this episode of 'Rhythms of Focus,' listeners explore the concept of 'trip wires' as a tool for mindfulness and task management. Discover how to set effective reminders for your future self and understand the phenomenon of 'Sticky Decor Decay,' where unaddressed reminders blend into the background over time. Learn actionable strategies to prevent task overwhelm and ensure your reminders stay effective. Plus, enjoy an original piano composition titled 'Humming the End' that underscores the episode's themes. Subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more insights tailored for adults with wandering minds and ADHD.

00:00 Sticky Decor Decay

01:37 The Need to Store Intentions

01:58 Trip Wires

03:47 "Sticky Decor Decay"

05:24 SDD as a List

06:19 An Equation Makes Science!?

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #FocusHabits #CreativeAgency #Intentions #SelfCompassion #Neurodivergent #RhythmsOfFocus #PianoMeditation

 I gotta do this and I gotta do that. You know what, I'll just leave this thing over here. Yeah, I'll leave this here to remind myself.

Three months go by.

What the heck is this doing here?

We can't do everything at the same time. The options are many, but the actions need to be singular. We need to take out the garbage, but something just fell to the floor. We need to remember to move a thing to the garage, but right now we're doing the dishes. We need to buy stuff from the store, but right now we're not going to the store.

One means of managing this is to use a trip wire.

 What do I mean by a trip wire? Well, a tripwire is a reminder that we set for our future selves. We have some intention now that we're not done with, we'd like to get to, and so we ask our future self,

"Hey, can you pick this up for me?"

The hope is that future self will then see, hear, feel somehow experience this reminder, then pick up that thing and follow through while our present self does whatever else.

We do this all the time. Maybe we put a grocery list on a sticky note by the door, so we see it as we leave the house. Maybe we leave that book by the nightstand to remind ourselves to read it. Maybe we'll leave a vacuum cleaner out in the morning before leaving to work, to remind ourselves, perhaps optimistically, to vacuum later in the afternoon.

The hope is that we'd be reminded about a thing and then do something in that moment.

This can be a viable strategy. That does apply a certain pressure on our future selves and that they need to not only receive that information, but also then act in that moment acting in a way that aligns with present self, including managing those "I don't wanna feelings" when they receive it.

 Even so it's still not the whole picture. For example, I prepared sandwiches for myself for lunch later in the day, only to leave them on the kitchen table, unrefrigerated, only realized when lunch rolls around.

I partially solved the problem with a trip wire by putting it in a plastic bag and hanging it on the doorknob. But then again, sometimes I still forget. I walk through the door, seemingly only mildly annoyed that there's something hanging on the doorknob, as I walk out,

"I have places to go, things on my mind. That thing in the doorknob, well, I'll deal with that later."

The funny thing about trip wires is that when we don't act on them, they decay. It's not just sandwiches, it's anything. In fact, I've come up with this phrase that's kind of fun to say. It's called "Sticky Decor Decay." Sticky Decor Decay.

It has zero basis in any scientific rigor whatsoever, but I wonder if it might resonate with you, and I'm trying to come up with an equation to describe this. Maybe one that you, dear listeners can help me out with. So if you come up with some ideas and think that it's, uh, I'm onto something, or if you can improve on it, whatever it is, drop me a line.

It goes something like this. When we first see a trip wire, something we've laid out for ourselves, we can address it or not.

When I say addressing something, I mean taking action with it, or maybe changing it, or at least acknowledging its presence, the lack of a possible current action, and what would be necessary to take action with it, and arranging for that.

If we don't address the trip wire, it has, let's say a 50% increased chance of blending into the background.

In fact, every time we don't address it, it keeps fading by another 50%. So, as an example, if the trip wire had a 0% chance of blending into the background in the first instance, we saw it, by the time we pass it five times without addressing it, it has approximately a 97% chance of blending into the background.

It has now become part of the decor. It decays into decor.

Now we can see the same process happen with our tasks and lists. For example, let's say you have a list of things to do that dreaded "things to do" list.

Quite easily, items can sit there undone. We jump from one side to another, everywhere in between searching for what's simultaneously easy and important or maybe best aligned with our current state of interest and energy. But somewhere along the way, the tasks in between the serious ones, the heavy ones, the poorly worded ones, the ones that don't reflect our current realities, all that well stick around.

Not only do they stick around. They are ignored and as they're ignored, they seem to accrue like coat hangers in a closet or rabbits in the spring, they just multiply, choking out the list, contributing to that sense of overwhelm. As they multiply, they just glom onto each other. They're sticky, sticky decor decay.

So. Here's an equation I've come up with, and I understand that the audio podcast is totally not the medium for describing an equation, but whatever. I'm gonna do it anyway.

From the get go. A trip wire has a certain percentage chance of standing out. Let's call that T for trip wire.

How well it stands out also depends on the clutter around it. P for physical clutter, M for mental clutter, like scatter, exhaustion, confusion, and more.

But there are also these undercurrents of habits, H of managing that area. For example, if we have a habit of cleaning the dishes in the sink, adding a mug there is an easy to use ready trip wire to remind us to clean the mug. But if we don't have that habit, it doesn't work so well, often just becoming more clutter.

There's also how much the trip wire loses its power over time as we pass it by without addressing it as I was just describing. Let's call that L for power loss. I gave it 50% in the example earlier.

And then there's how many times we've passed it by. We can give that letter N for number, so the equation. T tripwire times H, habit times L, loss to the nth power divided by P times M, mental clutter, all multiplied by K, where K stands for the sticky decor decay constant.

And now because it's an equation, it's totally scientific. If this makes any sense whatsoever to you or not at all, I'd love to hear your thoughts. So the next time you plan to leave something out, to remind yourself to do something, consider writing an equation about it, then making a podcast out of it and consulting your podcast community, then write about it to your newsletter, and that way you don't have to do the vacuuming, at least not just yet.

I once took a wine tasting class. It was my senior year of college, and I remember the teacher saying something along the lines of, there are many things that can go into the taste of a wine, but one thing I appreciate most is how long the taste lasts.

When we listen to music, a similar thing happens.

First pass is really only a formatting of sorts. While much is already there from past listens. This projection we do as we try to understand anything really, there's this new world to discover in sound. The worlds are simple spaces created by left, right, up, down nature of it all. Twos are contrasted with fours highs, with lows, all creating this sonic playground for the mind, this part of ourselves after listening that said, Hmm, I had fun in that playground. I'd like to do that again. It comes out as I'd like to listen again.

Our minds are asking to play in that world to form, to grow our minds associate and bound about. If you have ever found yourself humming along with a piece of music, whether it's the exact notes or some harmony, it's your mind playing.

We listen again and again, though often with decreasing frequencies trailing off as we've learned through that play, whatever it is that we would learn.

Sometimes these pieces become parts of our communities. Our worlds the supportive riverbed for our intentions, if not spirits, we hear them because they mean something to us and sometimes we don't. The swing sets may not fit us anymore.

Either way, we come to some settled place with it. New ideas and sensations only come through as ripples, if at all. No new information comes to mind.

And so I have a similar measure of music as my teacher did with wine. I like it when a piece of music stays with me and I listen to it and I come back to it over time.

I like it when seems to stumble at the beginning. I'm like, what is this? But then as you give it a few more listens, the structure becomes more and more apparent.

That number of times that some part of us genuinely asks to repeat those listens, that length of how long it lasts, it resonates as being a good piece of music.

So this piece of music that I'll play for you now, it's called Humming the End. After I recorded it, I listened to it and I listen to it again and again. Maybe it's good. Well, I think it's good. I hope you enjoy it.  

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Discover eight distinct “gears” of focus—stages we moves through, from simply being, to considering, approaching, and ultimately performing at our best. Honoring each gear transforms frustration and procrastination into creative flow and agency. Drawing parallels to music, emotional waves, and mindful play, this episode invites listeners to see hard work not as a battle, but as a dance with emotion, context, and self-compassion.

• Learn to recognize and move through all eight "gears" of focus, from daydreaming to performing

Every episode features an original piano composition—this time, enjoy “On a Dare” in C minor. Subscribe and find more mindful productivity resources at rhythmsoffocus.com—because your rhythm matters more than rigid rules.

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #FocusStrategies #Agency #Creativity #EmotionalWaves #RhythmNotRules #GentleSelfMastery #PianoAndFocus

 Sometimes we could just fall right into a project, pick it up, and bam, we're in it. Even when we hit a bump here and there, we can make it through sailing. Other times, sometimes even with the same project, just on some other day, a sense of revulsion can just emanate from it.

Or maybe we barely consider, it doesn't even come to mind, or maybe we start to ruminate about it. Keeps coming to mind and we think, Ugh, I really have to figure that one out. Meanwhile, the deadline creeps along until it crosses that threshold where we finally kick into gear. In either case, whether we're enjoying something or we're trying to avoid it, we go through many of the same steps, and when we know them, we can start to more deliberately take on the things that are difficult or have that, "I don't wanna" cloud around it.

I in fact, count eight different gears in which we can engage something, what I call eight gears of focus.

Have you ever been on an airplane or some enclosed space? Where you didn't have wifi or minimal distractions, but you do have a book. I imagine somewhere in your life you've been in something of the situation. What happened?

You may well have started to read. Not only that may have even started to get into it and then wondered,

Why can't I always do this?

Somewhere in here you might think you were forced to read 'cause that's all you could do, but I'd suggest that's not really what's happening. In fact, what's happening is that we're supported by the zeroth gear of focus.

There are eight gears of focus that I count starting with this zeroth gear.

When we're good at something, we naturally move back and forth through these gears. Shifting is needed without even thinking about it. Sometimes we support them, sometimes we ignore them and get into a lot of trouble. It's when we get into difficult matters where things really throw us off.

We lose sight of these gears, or we don't even feel them as we naturally progress through them. And that's where we can get into a lot of trouble, like habits that don't take hold and projects that are never followed through.

So today I thought I'd outline these gears.

They're, uh, an important part of the waves of focus course that I've put together for those with wandering minds, ADHD, and beyond. But I think we go through all of these gears, regardless of neurology.

See I have this theory that hard work is emotional work. Complex work requires the management of overwhelm. Even physically threatening work like being a firefighter requires the management of fear. Logic itself is a flow of play through seeking and understanding.

Emotion, and at least the definition I use is that which crests into consciousness, whether by caress or crash.

Our focus is our means of choosing and riding one or some set of these emotional waves that are currently brushing into the hull of conscious awareness. And as these waves continue to move, into crash into us, the distractions, the struggles, the confusion, overwhelm, rage, "I don't wanna" feelings and more we have to still navigate amongst them.

We do this all the time unconsciously. Particularly when we're engaged, enjoying a thrilling video game, we constantly are confronted with the challenge. If we weren't, the game wouldn't be successful. Once we hit challenge, we have a means of thinking through what to do and where to go next to explore limits and follow some story step that we co-create, whether to walk into a cave or take the next headshot.

When we consciously are aware of these steps, we're that much better equipped to address the difficult tasks, the hard, the emotional as they present.

So let's begin with the beginning. This zeroth gear of being. In being we're without intention. We stare off into space, we daydream, we simply exist. It would seem silly to call this anything.

How does having no intention relate to work or play or anything related to productivity at all? In the example of the book on the plane, we weren't forced. No one's forcing our eyes into the page. No one's forcing the words to travel into our minds and embed themselves anywhere. Instead, we move rhythmically back and forth, maybe staring first at the fabric of the seat in front of us.

We might look up at the flight attendant and wonder about who they are. Maybe get annoyed at the leg room. I wonder about the person sitting next to us, back to the pattern on the fabric on the seat in front of us. But at some point, maybe we touch the binding of the book, admire its craft or not at all.

Flip the book open. Look through it. What's in the chapter headings? The words start their way in. Maybe an idea comes to mind and then somehow we're back looking at that fabric, that pattern. What is that pattern? Flight attendants coming back. I wonder when I can say what I want to drink, how long it's gonna take, wait, what do I want to drink?

Wait, if I drink, do I have to go to the bathroom? Oh man. And then you're back in the book. On and on. This goes on. But somewhere along the way in this flow back and forth, something happens and we are in it. We can imagine the characters, the foundational principles, the whatever of the book. What started as slow is now this proper flow.

The stories that come to mind, warm us, anger us, capture us in the world between the words.

We could simply be. And when we allowed ourselves to simply be, we also found a way to tune in. We connected at our pace. In pausing, we can space out and allow thoughts and associations to bubble into consciousness. In being we better perceive and receive.

So much of the work of work is in crafting our contexts to be able to support our ability to be, where the thresholds are raised, to avoid going off into other things, but allowing us to be there with what we decide our intention to be.

 So that was our zero gear being.

Now, our first gear is where we begin to relate to our intentions. And intentions about wanting something to be in a different state than it currently is. When concrete, we can see the end state. We know the steps. When it's creative, we cannot see the end or know the steps there.

Instead, a creative intention, something that we have to be creative with, is about discovering something in the act of creating it. Every step reveals something , blurry as that vision may be.

And when we consider, we imagine where we are, where we'd like to be, we allow thoughts to come to mind, we associate in those ideal times where we can allow our associations to come to a standstill or a gentle ripple, simply where no new information comes to mind. We reach that point of acknowledgement. We see those parts as best as we can. We, this moment, as clear as they can be, risks, fears, concerns, they're there, unchanging. Our options are before us, including inaction.

What do I know about this book? What are the chapters? Who are the characters? What can I bring to mind? Where do I think this might go?

Grounding ourselves in our present experience, and the vision that we have gently starts stirring the emotional pools within our mind.

So zero is being, one is consideration. Two is our approach as we approach. Looking at the book, looking at the project, looking at the garage that's in disarray, whatever the project, somehow we start to feel something. We might even be an immediate hit with a sense of wanting to run away. But if we can stay with that emotion, connect to that tension, that frustration, or whatever the feeling is, doors, windows, portals of challenge might start to appear.

If you've ever done yoga, you might have a physical sense of this.

In approaching a position, you can feel the tension come alive. Paying attention to that tension, you can then slow yourself down, find some simplicity in it, find something small you can do within that tension. If you ignore it well, you might hurt yourself. But in paying attention to it, you start engaging something, growing something, developing something within yourself.

With a book, you might feel overwhelmed, lost in the characters, the ideas confused. We might try to hold on to those feelings of confusion, we can then wonder, what is it that's confusing me? What's overwhelming me? Again, we can slow it down. We can shrink down. We can find some tiny next action, simplify down to a single sentence, if not word.

It's in that slowing down, simplifying, shrinking down, that we can find ease.

 And in finding ease as small as that may be, maybe just brushing the dust off that project that's been sitting there forever, we start to find what we can trust. And finding what we can trust within ourselves, we can start finding that place of play, that spirit, that growth that connects to us life.

These windows of challenge, where matters are neither too overwhelming or too boring, where we find that state that can spark and sustain a flow, invite us in where we can start to gently bring whatever ease of simplicity into the next window of challenge.

So zero is being, one is consider, two is approach.

The third gear is the visit.

I described the visit in depth in episode four. But as a thumbnail sketch here, it means about showing up to something or bringing it to ourselves. We're actually with the material of the work. We stay for, let's say a single deep breath or whatever length of time it takes for you to experientially say that we've been there with the materials, with the intention, with the thing that might further it into reality, standing at that edge of action, where it's as easy to step forward as it is to step away.

When we do that, we heighten our sense of agency, our ability to decide and engage non reactively. We feel the emotions flare at their deepest. Emanating from the work, whether we decide and nudge something forward or not, that stirring of emotion affects us. The unconscious realms undulate, percolate, fulminate back into consciousness.

That "aha" that strikes us as we're driving, as we're walking, rarely happen without us actually being there at some point. The visit is powerful.

So zero is being, one is consider, two is approach, three is visit, fourth start.

This is where things begin to manifest. This is also the realm where we might start to abuse ourselves often with the word, "just," "just start."

Why can't I just start? If I can just start, it'll get going.

"Just" the word itself, it's often a shortcut, if not a short circuit that avoids emotion. There's something in the way that the earlier gears are better suited for. When we know what we're doing, when we have practiced some regularity, when we know and are ready for the risk of what manifesting does, that sense of bringing fantasy into reality, dealing with that worry of what would this say about me? What if I can't finish, what if I do terribly? And all the rest of the uncertainty that plagues us, when we've answered those questions into non-existence, starting is powerful.

If we know how to jog. We can start and jog maybe a mile. We can start the dishes, complete them. We can start that book on the plane and see where it goes.

But it takes the practice of having reached that place without which we can flare the, "I don't wanna" feelings.

Zero is being, one is consider, two approach, three visit, four start.

Our fifth gear is to complete. We bind ourselves to some milestone making something happen to completion.

Write the report. Inbox zero. Complete the book. Clean the garage. Check off the task.

Often habits are born and die right here, exhausted by a gear that's far too high for where we are. We take something and say, we have to complete it.

I'm not done until it's done.

 Completion is a bind and a place where a wandering mind often tries to start, but often with that injured sense of agency begins to scream, "I don't wanna."

Zero is being one is considered two approach. Three visit. Four is start. Five is complete. Sixth is to schedule binding ourselves to o'clock. The deadline looms.

Guests arrive at six. I'd like to start writing at four. Maybe I should clean from three to five. The clock ticks. Unsynced as the human made clock might be to our internal sense of time, we can easily be thrown off. So what do I mean by being unsynced? Well, it appears in our questions.

The questions , like, what do you do if you're in the middle of something when you've scheduled it? What do you do if you're tired before it gets done? What do you do when something more important shows up while you're in the middle of it? What do you do if you're not done when time runs out? What do you do if you don't feel like it?

Scheduling can become another way to create multitude of dead projects and habits crushing as this gear can be.

But when we have this well practice, scheduling can be absolutely freeing. I write my newsletter and podcast on Friday mornings at 10. I see my clients at scheduled times of the week. I perform piano on Monday evenings.

These times or places, I do not need to think of anything else, as well carved as they are, they are dedicated islands creating structure for my days and my weeks. But they did not start there.

Alright, so let's summarize zero being one, consider two, approach, three, visit, four, start. Five, complete six. Schedule

Seventh, and our final gear, is performance- do or die. This is where we bind ourselves to some witness or event. We're in the exam, we're at the interview. The consoles on fire. We are the air traffic controller.

Room for thought is a luxury. Now many of us are quite practiced at being here. The deadline has been our means of taking action. Often, this comes out in the phrase,

"I do my best when my back is against the wall,"

but I'd suggest that if that's the case, it's more about being practiced at riding the waves of urgency.

Urgency, leverage this way can be abusive. It can be exhausting, this means of force.

 Deadlines do not cooperate with each other. They don't care about illness. They don't care that the bus broke down. Often, if not, inevitably, it leads to some need to apologize, beg for forgiveness, extensions and more.

Meanwhile, the emotions of urgency and fear crush those of creativity play and care.

We can say that limits inspire creativity. How is it that a deadline wouldn't do the same? Poet Wendell Berry, nicely said, "the impeded stream is the one that sings,"

but I would also suggest that for, let's say a flute, that impedance is a carefully crafted one.

Wouldn't it be better to have some practice before a performance? Wouldn't it be better to have more abilities in your repertoire so you don't have to depend on urgency that often impairs, if not crushes, creativity, play and care.

When I sit with my clients and they reach some depth of an emotional moment, it's not like I can say, hang on, lemme go look something up. When I perform at the piano, I can't say, hang on, let me practice this phrase.

Practice brings us to this point of performance where it can excel.

 With practice, I can fully be there with my client to hear and reflect maybe choosing some subtle undertone of something informed by my years of experience and study. At the piano, I can allow the emotions to flow into sound, the structures of sinew and muscle hammer and string, all these well worn riverbeds giving power to find new paths forward.

So reviewing zero is be, one is consider. Two is approach. Three is visit four, start five, complete six schedule, and seven performance.

Each of these gears can be supported. Each of them can be flowed through in a single wave of focus, or across multiple. Between the now, the next and the not now.

With practice, we can support each of these and the flow between them and still not only take responsibility, but also importantly, the agency for ourselves to move forward where and how we can with where we are now.

 I'll often go through the exercise of creating a piece of music in a short period of time, maybe in a single Practicing my ability to move between memorizing something and improvising it and then re memorizing and then improvising again. Sometimes the end result sticks, sometimes it doesn't.

Today's musical piece formed in such a way as many of them do. It's called "On a Dare". It's written in C Minor, and I hope you enjoy it.  

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

In this episode of "Rhythms of Focus," we consider distraction and stimulation. When our minds wander and the pull of the phone grows strong, we search for stimulation is actually a longing for real meaning and energy in what we do.

Explore how our emotions shape the way we focus and why boredom so often pushes us toward escape. In pausing—noticing our feelings instead of avoiding them—we can find agency. Mindfully, we practice shifting from reactivity to a state where we can choose what feels truly right for each of us.

Takeaways from this episode:

• Recognize what fuels the urge to distract ourselves and how to address it with understanding
• Learn a practical technique for pausing and noticing emotions to unlock a new sense of agency
• Discover how awareness can transform moments of discomfort into opportunities for meaningful action

This episode features our original piano piece, “Prelude to an End,” to help anchor these reflections and support our mindful rhythm.

Subscribe for more supportive conversations, and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to deepen your journey with us.

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #EmotionalResilience #Creativity #FocusChallenges #Neurodivergent #IntentionalLiving #PianoMusic

  "What if I did my weekly review? Oh, but I just gotta write that report. I'm a nails need clipping. I would rather go and do that. No. How about if I just, uh, yeah. Hopeless. But I think I just need a reset. Let's see what's on Instagram here."

Three hours go by.

"Where did the day go? Oh my goodness, I had so much to do."

    Getting lost in the day. The media politics, both grand and in the family, it's far too easy to lose our bearings. We might blame this sense in ourselves that we need stimulation. Whatever it is we're "supposed to do" is simply not stimulating enough. Might be quite boring, in fact, but what is that craving for stimulation?

The word itself is so bland.

We might say, well, I need something that's shiny or on fire as a client of mine would say. But even these are not enough to describe what this is.

Stimulation, is this stand-in for a sense of vitality. We want to feel alive, some depth of meaning growing somewhere within us. 

All right, so how is that related to this infinite scrolling on our phones? Well, any number of emotions get touched off. Humor connects because it draws attention to something we haven't considered. Some surprise and discovery, some edge of society. Fear connects because it tells us to look over here at the risk of peril. Sex connects because the creative spirit in lust is just that powerful, this massive momentum carrying us through the ages.

All of these emotions connect to some sense of meaning within ourselves.

So how can a report possibly compete? We need stimulation again because we need something to feel real.

Alright, so what the heck does this have to do with any form of productivity in whatever shape or form? Well, when we can acknowledge that the so-called need for stimulation is more truly about some need to feel alive, we can find a new direction.

For example, let's say we're able in some rare moment to catch ourselves scrolling through the phone, wonder to ourselves, well, what am I doing? The initial impulse might be to say, how do I avoid this? How do I get out of this phone?

Well, I'll try to do nothing. Well, that rarely works. Nature of which our minds are apart abhors a vacuum. That phone is easily reached for once again, the unconscious forces are powerful, much more so than that blip of consciousness with which we sail our lives and we ignore that power at our own peril.

It's all too easy to just find ourselves in the phone, not realizing we were there. Another impulse might be,

I'll try to do something. Anything else!

Sometimes this works, like a smoker trying to quit finding some chewing gum. Or maybe we throw ourselves into that report, maybe even getting something done.

But there is a third option, which is not so apparent, and that is to pause.

Pausing seems like nothing. What's the difference between pausing and doing nothing? Well, in a pause. We're conscious, we can deliberately feel the boredom, pay direct attention to it, might even attempt to locate it in our body.

Where does it register? How does the feeling feel? Again, what's the point? The point is that this practice begins shifting emotion from driver to messenger.

Boredom is the driver that sent us scrolling.

In other words, by pausing, we heighten our sense of agency, that ability to decide and engage non-reactively. That non-reactive bit, that shifting of emotion from driver to messenger is born in the pause. That ability is core to deciding what's most meaningful, what's most alive in us in this moment of the Now, and we can decide which of the many waves we wish to ride from that pause.

Maybe instead of continuing to scroll, we decide to rest ourselves in the face of the tensions of that report, to sit with them, brave the feelings that it seems to emanate. Maybe we find within those feelings some window of challenge, that kindling of play.

And when we don't acknowledge an emotion, we don't hear its message, so its spirit has this greater tendency to blend into us, suffuse us, take us over. In the internal family systems model of psychotherapy, we could say it doesn't trust us, and so it takes the driver's seat without our knowing.

So as a takeaway here, consider the practice of pausing.

Maybe after this episode ends, take a moment to pause and consider what is the feeling? It's probably the hardest of the entire range of productivity ideas, but I think it's also the most important.  

 Every session, every wave of focus comes to an end. But as we end, we can take a deliberate approach to setting things aside and preparing for some next visit, some next time we return, in effect, sending a care package to our future selves. And doing so is something of a wave within a wave with its own approach, middle and end.

Today's piece of music is called Prelude to an End.

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Feeling stuck—where even the simplest task feels too heavy to lift? In this episode, instead of chasing rigid productivity, listeners will discover the subtle art of finding ease within challenge, tuning into the rhythms of play, and learning how to gently move forward even when motivation wanes.

Listeners will learn:

• How play, frustration, and challenge intertwine, illuminating gentler ways forward
• Practical methods to surface and honor emotions that hinder focus, catalyzing growth through compassion

Takeaways:

• Pause to reflect deeply before acting, creating space for authentic decisions
• Shrink tasks down to their smallest steps, inviting ease rather than pressure
• Channel rhythms of natural play into even the most stubborn work moments

This episode features a performance of Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag. Subscribe and join our growing community at rhythmsoffocus.com—where wandering minds thrive along waves of agency and creativity.

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #Mindfulness #GentleProductivity #PlayfulFocus #EmotionalEase #CreativeFlow #CompassionateGrowth #MicroActions

  All right. Let's see what I've got on my list here to do today. All right. Uh, visit the gym. Are you kidding me?

 Sometimes the simplest things can feel like the heaviest weights. The simpler they are, the more paradoxically we "can't be bothered."

Head to the garage, show up to the dishes, open the report- all of these can come with a wave of revulsion.

How could we ever move forward?

I often and continue to espouse a "visit" as a powerful unit of work. This idea of showing up to something or bringing it to ourselves and staying there for one single deep breath, and then making a decision as to what we wanna do, whether walk away or into the work.

It is a powerful unit of work, but even so, it might still be too difficult to make it there, even with this idea of not having to do a thing.

What then? I imagine there have been times that you've been here. Maybe someone kept bugging you, maybe a due date crept along far enough, or just yelled at yourself into this sort of painful, "just start" and you finally started going.

But there are gentler paths and you may well have done those too.

Take for example, how we already act when we are in play. When we enjoy something naturally, we might bump into frustrations, take stock of where we are, slow down, break things down, simplify things, find some ease once again, and finally return with that ease back into challenge. Dynamically, we tune to the windows of challenge for where we are in that moment.

We find those places that are not so easy to be boring and not so intense as to be overwhelming.

We can adapt the same process to difficult work, hard work, something we can also call emotional work, only by bringing the process to consciousness. The first and perhaps most important step is to pause, where we reflect without reacting, where we can connect to that deeper sense of self. It gives us that space to decide:

" Maybe this isn't even a thing that is meaningful for me at all."

But if we do decide to move forward. We can also sense in that pause where we rest in those emotions that we discover something hidden in the words that we've been using. The sort of, "I just don't wanna" sort of phrase, we might be saying to ourselves, we can discover this deep, complex, emotional world beneath those words.

In that pause, we might see one such emotion that's contributing that of let's say, exhaustion. This consequence of repeated hits to our sense of agency, dropping, losing, forgetting things. We lose the sense of capability. Any attempt risks yet another injury as a fear of true inability would rear its ugly head in these clouds, choking us into collapse.

Fully engaging these emotions, maybe even feeling them physically within our body, we can now better find this genuine tendril of ease, somewhere within there, somewhere within ourselves, or at least something easier. Whether we slow down, we break something down to some tiniest of tiny next steps, or find this fundamental basic within the complex moment, there may be something we can work into an ease.

A being able to do with barely a thought, even if it's to hardly lift a leg off the couch. Finally, if we're able to find that path to that tiny ease, we can then ask,

"Can I gently bring that ease with me forward and to some next step?"

Sometimes we may even be able to continue onward to make a visit, stepping up to the work to stare at the vista now with our full emotional selves, and we can then fully decide whether or not to engage that wave of focus as smooth or as rough as it may end up being.

So much of our culture, extols the virtue of the hard. Challenge- it can be wonderful, but how do we deal with it? It's not about pushing harder. No pain, no gain. This sentiment is there might be some truth to it somewhere within it, but it also skips the part of how the pain is more messenger than fuel.

Why lose sight of the gentle origins of play nourished in an earth of gentle ease? We can certainly pay attention to pain, but we can also spend time and care where play may build into a more matured, elegance and supple power.

So the takeaway here is the next time you find yourself in play in something you're enjoying, that feels meaningful to you, that has you in some depth, see if you can find those moments of frustration. Those moments where it's like,

"Oh, how does this work?"

And see how it fits in with challenge, how you might slow down, simplify, shrink things down, and then find that ease and come back and how that might be happening naturally without even conscious awareness.

And if you can do that, think of how you might start bringing that to things that might be more difficult, things you might wanna avoid and see if that might actually be able to be transferred there too.

  Scott Joplin, king of Ragtime, created this wonderful piece of music called the Maple Leaf Rag. Copyrighted in 1899  the piece is this jumble of back and forth ideas. One thing happens here, but it doesn't happen there. Over and over throughout the piece as I play it, I need to be in this sort of meditative question of

Where am I?

Because as soon as I lose sight of that question, I'm in the wrong place and have made plenty of mistakes.

By many accounts performing this piece should be "hard." But the practice, as is with mastery in general, is about bringing what's hard, to easy and the gentle path there. We can break things down into the tiniest of single notes, single chords.

Maybe I'm asking myself, oh, what's this about? And then I allow myself to wonder in my own time to form with the sounds.

It's an absolutely lovely piece and I do hope you enjoy it.  

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Discover why your latest app or productivity hack is not the real hero—or the real challenge. In this episode of "Rhythms of Focus," we explore what truly lies beneath those endless quests for the perfect system, shining a compassionate light on wandering minds and ADHD.

Listeners will uncover how recognizing and respecting four key limits—time, agency, working memory, and trust—is far more liberating than forcing themselves into rigid molds. Instead of battling against limitations, you’ll learn to use them as anchors for meaningful work and creative rhythm. This episode unpacks the seductive promise of productivity systems, the artistry of aligning attention with intention, and gentle strategies to transform overwhelm into empowered agency.

Key takeaways:

• Honor time, agency, working memory, and trust as necessary boundaries that support creative flow.
• Replace shame and frustration with self-compassion—embracing playful mastery over strict discipline.
• Discover actionable ways to build a trusted, resilient productivity environment that fits a wandering mind.

As always, enjoy an original piano composition woven into today’s episode, designed to nurture calm and focus.

If this resonates, subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more insights, resources, and episodes to help your unique rhythm thrive.

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #MindfulProductivity #FocusRhythms #CreativeFlow #WorkWithLimits #SelfCompassion #AttentionMastery #OriginalMusic

I found a new productivity app, let me tell you about, it's the greatest thing ever. Oh, did you hear about that productivity book by Mr. Awesome Sauce. It's the greatest thing ever. Fast forward two months, uh, another system down the drain. I can't do any of these.

Maybe there's just something wrong with me. I can't seem to make any of these work. What's going on? I what? What if it's not the app? What if it's not the book? What if it's not ourselves? All right, where is it then? Maybe it's in something we still need to acknowledge the limits.

The promises of some productivity system can be powerfully seductive.

The idea is that we'd get more done with less effort. Stay on top of it all. Everything's organized. Everything shows up exactly where we need it. Heck, I do have a system myself and I think it's pretty darn awesome. Lemme tell you, it's all shiny and new, but that may well crash too.

We often push limits.

It's important to push limits. Play, this depth and breadth of flow between self and world discovery, question and tension- it's a vitality that once it finds root can be such an inspirational flow. The sap of mastery and meaningful work and relationships. We see it in the toddler in their focus while they're stacking blocks and we see it in the craft's master that has that same focus as they're in that deep reverie.

Play pushes limits. We tend to think of limits as somehow enemies, or perhaps they're ever present challenges that must be dominated, broken through, if not destroyed.

And we can see that as well between the toddler and the adult.

To reach that place of being able to stack blocks, we have a sense that our environment can hold us, that it won't interrupt us without care or reason.

That's somehow takes us and our being hood into account. Maybe we push one way or the other. We try to wander this way or that. But time and again, in ways we know and in many ways we don't, perhaps only feeling it as this gentle wave from some distant shore, we are supported, in being here and now.

The craftsperson similarly has done the work themselves of establishing those things, the environment, whether appearing to be a chaotic mess or this pristine lining of tools and resources. Somehow it's been placed to be in tune with that sense of the creative self.

Internally too, skill and knowledge have been whittled as their own tools well worn in time and practice. They trust their environment to support that creative self. They can simply be and allow that creativity to well from within.

But to get to those trusted environments, we discover those limits that line the objects of our world. Our words, our knowledge, our skills, our being hood exist by way of being bounded. Many artists quickly discover that limitations can, in fact, enhance creativity, but how? Is it simply that we limit options and therefore offer some relief to working memory? Is it some wordless inspiration perhaps? Well, it could be both. Likely more.

I think it's through these testing of limits that we establish what we can trust. We know what the playground is, we know what works, what doesn't, and certainly we can test and retest our limits, what we can trust and what we cannot.

But once we've established what we can trust, and more importantly, acknowledge, perhaps even respect them as things that exist, play has this tendency to appear.

In systems of productivity we have several limits that we need to respect. And before I even say what those limits are, I want to define productivity itself because it can be such a nasty and perverted word. Probably I could do a whole episode on that, but for now, just defining it.

Productivity is the art and skill of bringing attention to intention, and that's it. This art and skill of bringing attention to an intention. Now, perhaps I can also differentiate that from meaningful productivity, which I define as a practice of finding and weaving mastery and meaningful work into our daily lives and relationships.

All right, so now that I've defined the idea of productivity, there are four limits that I currently count that benefit from our respect, some of which we tend to be okay with, or at least pay lip service to, and others we ignore completely.

These four are time, agency, working memory, and trust. I will say them again. Time, agency, working memory and trust.

The trouble with most systems is that we don't recognize, let alone acknowledge that we're limited, further, that we have to balance ourselves within these limits. As an example, when we're asked to make a "brain dump," we might initially feel relieved,

Hey, I don't have to hold this in my mind.

But quickly we become overwhelmed again, if not worse than before. We are overwhelmed with our sense of obligation, some responsibilities consciously, some unconsciously, agreed to, our sense of needing to organize this brain dump, now, to be able to even know what organized means when it comes to this mess we've now created.

We do not trust we can get to what we want to. We have no sense of time for it. It does not fit our working memory.

Let's take another example that of "hyperscheduling," this practice of scheduling every minute of the day as if we were budgeting our time like money. Here we clearly do acknowledge the limits of time, but we avoid the limits of agency in our sense of trust of being able to follow through.

For example, agency being this ability and skill to decide and engage non-reactively appears at numerous points when we've hyper scheduled.

When that time comes to do the thing, how would we feel? What if something more important were going on? What if we miss something? How do we stop if we're not done? And there are many other questions that can come to mind.

These questions are particularly important to a wandering mind, whose time sense is more aligned to nature's time than to that of the manmade clock. Check out episode 23 for more on that. Yes, we can make adjustments on the fly, but that drains that sense of agency and we're confronted with the worries of procrastination and the plain and simple, "I don't wanna" feelings.

Let's take a look at a third example that of the weekly review. The advice is to go through each one of our projects and make sure that all of them have a next action in place, getting the actions themselves generally more organized, that each of these actions are then listed on the correct action lists, all of which can be useful ideas.

I myself even listed in one of my books something like 20 different questions you could Review at a weekly review. And the idea is to do this every week.

One of my students described this process to be something like dragging sandpaper across his eyes. Quite a brutal metaphor. It's incredibly exhausting, and one of the reasons why many people often don't stick with this aspect of a system.

In this situation, we're not respecting the limits of agency.

We often refer to energy, but I'm not sure that's often useful in our thoughts here because energy can fluctuate widely depending on what we're doing, but we can still show up as in a visit and then make a decision. Sometimes we find the energy by plucking at those windows of challenge that meet us where we are.

But agency, that ability to decide and engage as we reflect on the sense of emotions and options of the moment, that does seem to have its limits. It's not clear what those limits are. It's not measurable in the usual sense of measuring it. Then again, most things that are meaningful cannot be measured.

We can still consider it internally. For example, I've since simplified my weekly review. The primary question I ask is, when and how will I see it again? I can tie it to my central attention hub, that then presents things when and where I want to see them. And I do that in a way that doesn't overwhelm me.

There are many other examples of troubles that we can get into with our systems, but the takeaway is this, whatever system you have, consider how you might test, and then hopefully respect the limits of time, agency, working memory, and trust.

There are skills and tools that you can use for any one of them. And with practice, each of these can become well worn paths.

At that point, if something new comes to mind that, let's say we'd like to set aside for the moment or engage now, we can make that decision. We have a place for it either in front of us now or on some known path of attention to meet us where we trust we would see it and not be overwhelmed when we do. Play, care, mastery, meaningful work, these grow along with a greater sense resting sense of being .

  Years will go by since I write a piece and I'll have no idea what I was thinking about at the time, but there's still this thread of, yeah, that sounds familiar. I remember that. Years ago when I was thinking about getting good at the piano, I would choose some small area to get good at and specifically a scale.

At the time it was C minor and with practice, I could eventually play it forward, backwards, hop between notes, really without thinking. Then I grew to trust my own skill with that, and as I did, I'd grow even more into the process of flowing through these windows of challenge alongside that sense of play. I can hear that in those pieces that I have from some time ago.

This following piece I picked outta my library from 2023. It's called Agradablemente Demasiado. I have no idea if I've said that correctly. I said it as I was learning my Spanish. It means pleasantly too much. I think I like to contrast things.

In any case, I hope you enjoy the peace  

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Break free from the tyranny of the unbroken streak—what if focus meant something deeper than chasing another checkmark? This episode of Rhythms of Focus invites wandering minds and adults with ADHD to let go of the pressure to “never miss a day,” discovering a kinder, rhythm-based approach to meaningful growth.

In this episode, explore:

- Why the “Don’t Break the Chain” habit method can create more anxiety and shame than mastery.

- How shifting from scorekeeping to presence transforms habit-building from a rigid tally into a playful, mindful journey.

- Practical strategies to reframe loss and missed days as part of life’s natural ebb and flow—fostering agency rather than guilt

Key takeaways:

- Learn why focusing on experience rather than streaks fosters real mastery and self-compassion.

- Discover the three-part Daily Invite: decide, be, and act—without the weight of perfection.

- Begin to view your habits as musical rhythms, not broken chains—open to improvisation, pauses, and creative renewal.

This episode features an original piano composition, “Ascend,” reflecting the dance between struggle and growth. Subscribe for more gentle, empowering strategies, and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for resources tailored to creative, neurodivergent thinkers.

### Hashtags:

#ADHD #WanderingMinds #FocusRhythms #MindfulProductivity #GentleHabits #SelfCompassion #DailyInvite #CreativeGrowth #Agency #Neurodiversity

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

A short little poem

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Uncover a revolutionary approach to managing ADHD and wandering minds in this episode of 'Rhythms of Focus.' Discover the 'Waves of Focus,' a comprehensive guide designed to transition you from force-based productivity to trust-based agency. Delve into key concepts such as the anchor, visit, and visit guide. Understand how to create a meaningful, rhythm-oriented life framework that enhances agency and mindfulness.

- Key Takeaways:

- Learn to transition from force-based to trust-based productivity.

- Discover tools and techniques like the anchor and visit guide.

- Understand how to create meaningful rhythms and improve your sense of agency.

Subscribe to 'Rhythms of Focus' and visit rhythmsoffocus.com.

### Links

- [Crocodile and Cube: In the Studio](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaRbIj8RyZIaLGCiP4DYnPBsTbKuSj1Nw)

- [Episode 4](https://rhythms-of-focus.captivate.fm/episode/from-force-to-flow-with-a-visit/)

- [Episode 9](https://rhythms-of-focus.captivate.fm/episode/i-dont-wanna-and-the-practice-of-agency/)

- [Episode 14](https://rhythms-of-focus.captivate.fm/episode/the-magnified-mind/)

### Keywords

#WavesofFocus #Agency #Mindfulness #RhythmsOfFocus #Tools #ADHD #WanderingMinds #TrustBasedProductivity #AnchorTechnique #VisitGuide

00:00 The Principles of the Waves of Focus

03:36 What are the Waves of Focus?

03:47 One - a Goal

04:30 Second - a Philosophy

06:19 Three - a Metaphor

08:01 Four - A Set of Tools

09:29 Five - A Framework

12:25 Six - A Set of Rhythms

14:55 Seven - a Practice

15:26 Final Thoughts

15:59 Music - "The Dust Cleared"

 How do we approach challenge? Sometimes we turn away, sometimes we dive in, sometimes we sidle up next to it. Gently stir the water with a big toe slip our legs in, sit with our feet dangling as we look across the pond and wonder. So I put a challenge before myself here now. It's about trying to explain my life's work, this Waves of Focus.

A guide for those with wandering minds, ADHD, and beyond. This course that I've put together, and I wanna be able to describe it in as short and simple as possible in this episode today. How the heck am I gonna do that?    

When you live and breathe something, it can become difficult to say what it's about to someone who doesn't live and breathe that same thing.

Sometimes we simply have a vision in our head. It could be a vision of a deck. We're trying to build a memory that came to mind from something that was said, an interesting idea about a story.

Whatever it is, it's hard to explain it, and sometimes it's even hard to explain to ourselves.

There's this hilarious set of YouTube videos called Crocodile and Cube. I'll link to it in the show notes. In which there's this one character, where he, hears something in his mind, this music, and he wants to create it.

And there's this other person that he's working with and they're trying to make sense of it. They're saying, okay, one person tells the story of what they want to hear. The other person tries to put it together, and together they try to bring this out into the world. It's a wonderful metaphor for the parts that can live within ourselves, even.

And wandering minds tend to connect with a depth of experience, a reality that feels alive. Words can feel hollow and brittle at times, unless they're really backed up by that sense of reality within them. How do we translate these ideas, these images, these somethings within our mind, into words, into images we can describe to others. and to anything?

But somehow we do. Artists, authors, creators, we all practice, define, refine over time, and eventually we come up with maybe not just a single story, but. Many perspectives. Really many stories. Well, anyway, . Enough rambling.

What are the Waves of Focus?

What are the Waves of Focus? Well, it's really about seven different things, honestly, which is probably why I've had such a tough time explaining it.

But I'm gonna break 'em all down here and give 'em to you. One at a time.

One - a Goal

First off, the Waves of Focus is a goal. I've described this transition from being able to move from force -based work to one that is more trust -based, where if we can believe in our own ability to engage things, take things on in our own time, and genuinely believe that, then we won't have to force ourselves to do things.

And when we believe genuinely that we can decide and act of our own accord, we tend to find, play and care, these spirits of mastery and meaningful work.

And these emotions of play and care as we are able to deliver them and find meaningful work connect them to our lives, our intentions, our relationships. It helps us feel alive.

Second - a Philosophy

Secondly, waves of focus is a philosophy that when we force ourselves, it's often because we don't trust ourselves. We drop things, we lose things, we forget things. We stumble through the social world and more.

We lose trust that we can make things happen of our own will. I mean, why would we? We've proven it that we haven't been able to. As an example, I have to act on this thought. While it's on my mind, I have to drop these other things because otherwise I'll lose it.

In this case, we suspend our ability to decide because we don't feel like we can. It's a luxury.

We force ourselves through many methods, many, besides the one I just mentioned. Deadlines, shame, sometimes asking others to be reminders, asking them to take on our agency because we feel we have none.

But if we could restore that trust in our abilities and our skills, in our sense that we could meaningfully, responsibly, be in tune with our own rhythms, where play and care tend to appear, and that felt genuine.

Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Trust is a feeling, a sense that something will continue to behave as a has been such that it might be relied on. Trust cannot be forced, cannot be willed into being. It's not a decision.

In order to trust ourselves, we have to genuinely believe that we can, for example, set something aside and come back .

Trust grows with agency. Agency is our skill and ability to decide and engage non-reactively. It's where and how we take risks, find, challenge, engage what's meaningful.

I believe it to be the centerpiece of any meaningful productivity. Not action, not, not even the task. Whether you're looking at sport, study, art, leisure, business, whatever the field, the focus is trust grows with agency.

Three - a Metaphor

Alright, first the Waves of Focus is this goal of moving away from force and towards trust and self.

Second, it's a philosophy that practicing a sense of agency could help us get there.

Third, is that the Waves of Focus is a metaphor of experience this boat on the sea of emotions

As wandering minds, we struggle with a constrained, but magnified world. We exist in the now and profoundly so.

The Now exists.

We can't see too far, but what we see is our world, and it looms large. We can explore deeply in this moment and then lose sight of the rest because that is what our lens of consciousness is.

The periphery, the Not Now, the distance beyond that now whether weeks or even seconds away, can feel unreal.

The storms, the winds, desire, regret, worry, demands, urgency, commitments all hit us that much stronger because The Now is our world, as much as those waves may come in from the Not Now this melding blend of dream, fear and fantasy flowing into the moment.

Meanwhile, we must do the things.

It can be difficult to deliberately set sail in any particular direction.

What if I miss something? I really wanna do this, but I need to do that. I don't have the motivation or the interest. How can I do anything?

While we may not trust ourselves, we do trust the power of the winds and waters around us. Urgency, desire, the shiny, the on fire, we can grab onto those.

Four - A Set of Tools

So first the Waves of Focus is this goal moving away from force to trust. Second, a philosophy that our sense of agency is center. Third is this metaphor of a boat in the winds and waters of emotion in which the wandering mind can often feel at the mercy of these elements.

Fourth is that the Waves of Focus is also a set of tools that help us manage, that help us sail in this sea.

There are quite a number of tools within the Waves of Focus, three of which I'm certain you know very well already and these are the calendar, alerts, and pen and paper, though you can substitute digital files if you'd like.

The Waves of Focus gives again a number of additional tools, but three of them probably give it its most unique nature. And these are the anchor, the visit, and the guide. Together with calendar and alerts, pen and paper, these tools create the foundational supports for the Waves of Focus, and they can rest on top of whatever else you use.

The Waves of Focus are not meant to supplant whatever system you've got. Whatever you've been building has been built over a lifetime. Some of it works, some of it doesn't. But rather than replace it, it'd be better to build trust where you can, you know, evolution more than revolution. Strengthen what works, and then maybe plant seeds for what might feel missing.

Five - A Framework

Alright, so first. There's a goal -force to trust. Second, it's a philosophy of agency reigning supreme. Third, it's a metaphor of the boat on water. And fourth, a set of tools.

Fifth, the Waves of Focus is a framework for the relationships that we can address with these tools. There are four relationships,

First is our ability to trust our own decisions . Two is the Now where we relate to our intentions, the things that we are doing. Three, the Not Now where we relate to our past and future selves. And four, the environment. Where we relate to the world around us.

Looking at these in a little more detail, the agency, but again, I know I've mentioned it, but among other things, this is a relationship with ourselves, our emotions, our thoughts, our options, the decision of whether to engage something or not. This is a skill that we develop with practice.

It's this relationship we form in time. The tool that relates most to agency in this course, is that of the anchor . Whenever we feel out of sorts, distracted, scattered, exhausted, we can pause for a moment, give our options a place to rest, choose something and launch.

This gives our. Working memory, rest, so that we can decide with greater clarity.

The better we get at this, the stronger our focus tends to become. We start being able to choose from the winds and waters as to which wave we want to engage.

 Which then leads us to the Now. The Now is our relationship with an intention. Work plays something we sense can be moved from one state to another. We can use the practice of a visit. We would bring it to us or we go to it.

As we approach, we might consider the context and how we can craft it to raise the thresholds against what might distract us and lower them in favor of the directions we do want to go.

Then we could be worried about what about the rabbit trails and procrastination of even doing that. Well, we don't suppress that feeling. We give it a place. Where we can more clearly decide amongst our paths forward. Whatever we decide, it's not impulsive.

We stand at that Edge of Action where it's as easy to take a step forward as it is to step away.

We can sit with frustration, exhaustion, scatter gently, gradually. We can rest our attention. Consider and acknowledge and sometimes even see how the puzzle pieces come together.

In disengaging, we don't force ourselves to stop. Instead, we use project maps to help capture the moment that we're now in. We can create this node between the waves, between the visits, this one and the next.

Every visit we make, every time we disengage, we actually strengthen our next steps forward, giving ourselves energy. Helping our unconscious minds think things through while also clearing our paths elsewhere.  

Six - A Set of Rhythms

And this leads us to the sixth perspective of the Waves of Focus. That it's a set of rhythms.

Every time we show up to an edge of action, we create a visit .

When we can make two visits to the same thing, we have two beats. We have a rhythm.

When we can make regular visits we gather momentum, a blend of motivation and the world aligning.

Past, present, and future selves communicate through desire, demand, worry, confusion, and more. Improving their relationships over time , with every visit starts to smooth the waters. We learn how to respect the present self. We start to care for our future selves. We honor the past selves . Every time we make this visit improves the trust in ourselves and the sense of agency that now is resting on it.

We create rhythms that clear and organize by our standards gently and over time, rather than by some unsustainable binge, or by some prescribed notions, we can take the lists and inboxes that inevitably decay around us and transform them to better support us rather than feel enslaved by them.

Beyond the two beats in the rhythm are multiple rhythms . Let's say we have two projects, two streams of visits going .

You can touch each one and be done by 8:00 AM or you could dive deep into any one , however you feel in that day, in that moment.

They could compliment each other, each allowing rest or support from the other,

Imagine being able to have an idea and relatively easily know where it would best wait for you, such that it respects your sense of agency, your time, your working memory, what you trust you can get to, and your emotional state when you get there.

Developing that trust over time is the guide.

Typically I see the structure of a guide as evolving into three components. One is the engaged. These are about one to three things that we're visiting perhaps daily, that are new and developing, emotionally charged, whether with worry or joy and all the blended worlds in between, it's somehow this vanguard of change in our lives.

Then there's the steady. These are those things that we've worked in ready to be part of the days, the weeks, the months,

and thirdly, there's a small handful of things that we'd like to get to. Waiting for a spot to open

Together with practice , this guide can function as a central hub to our attention network .

Seven - a Practice

There are more exercises and nooks and crannies I didn't quite get into, but that's the overview. Which leads us into the final bit practice. The waves of focus as a practice is this arrangement of exercises such that you can grow the skills at your pace.

Picking up the smallest pieces and then growing those over time, such they build on each other. You know, it doesn't make sense, for example, to take on an inbox if you don't trust that you can  show up to one without screaming.

Final Thoughts

So the waves of focus are not about forcing us to do anything. It's about standing at the edge of the water, maybe with our feet in the pool and considering from this depth of self, what would we like to do, if anything at all? What makes sense in the world of desire, responsibility, and more in this moment? Does it make sense to stare at the clouds?

Or maybe it's about being ready to set sail and see what's out there.  

Music - "The Dust Cleared"

Frank Zappa once called Music wiggling air molecules. Music itself is a series of waves flowing through air to caress or crash into our eardrums. I like the idea of music as a series of waves. Today's piece is an improvisation, a flow of its own sort. It's called the Dust Cleared, and I hope you enjoy it.

Mentioned in this episode:

Waves of Focus YouTube Series

Look out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw