Rich in Differences Podcast

Do you always allow your emotions and fears talk you out of taking decisions and risks that could be valuable to your life or business? If so, you're not alone.

Emotions are important. They can impact the decisions we make and compel us to take action, both small and large, about our lives. Our emotions control how we interact and talk to people, how we spend our time, as well as how we handle opportunities and challenges.

In this episode, we'll discuss the importance of collaboration and talking to others. In the last two episodes, we discussed a few techniques and ideas for learning emotional management.

But how do you know what is normal and what is not? Listen in!

Episode Spotlights

• In order to determine what is normal or common, you need to talk to each other and be willing to be vulnerable.

• It is very easy to get immersed in your own thoughts and emotions and it can become hard to differentiate between what is normal or common, what is a personal issue, or something you should truly be concerned about.

Five Common Fears Among the Business Owners:

•  Fear of failure

•  Fear of success

• Impostor syndrome

• Perfectionism

• The inner critic

You'll be amazed at the number of people who walk around scared they're going to fail.

• If you spend your day thinking negative thoughts, you'll be depressed and end up thinking that those statements are true.

• By sharing your thoughts with others, you'll realize how normal or how common those thoughts and fears really are.

• Fear is normal, but you need to learn that not all fears require you to stay up all night long hating on yourself. Actually, no fear should have you doing that.

• When you have someone to bounce your inner turmoil off of, you can start to see what is really common and maybe what isn't.

• Then you can make better decisions on how to handle it when those emotions start to come up in predictable ways and common situations.

• Collaboration and talking to others is important because you begin to see the things worth looking at, and the things that you can turn away from.

Resources/Links Mentioned in This Episode

•  Website: Rich in Differences

•  Rich in Differences Facebook page

•  Brené Brown: Website

Ways to Subscribe to Rich in Differences Podcast:

•  Itunes

•  Stitcher

•  Google Play

•  Spotify

Looking for some FREE Resources:

•  Free Resource Library

•  Eclectic Entrepreneurs

Some great resources for business that I personally use

•  MemberVault

*Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

**Rich in Differences Podcast is not intended to diagnose, prescribe, treat, or cure any disease, physical or mental.

Any advice given on the Rich in Differences Podcast should not be construed as a prescription, a promise of benefits, claims of cures, or a guarantee of results to be achieved.

The information, instruction or advice given by Rich in Differences Podcast is not intended to be a substitute for competent professional medical or psychological diagnosis and care. You should not discontinue or modify any medication presently being taken pursuant to medical advice without obtaining approval from your healthcare professional.

As a listener/reader, you must take complete responsibility for your own physical health and emotional well-being.

TRANSCRIPT BELOW

All right, Pop Tarts, welcome to Rich in Differences, I'm your hostess with the mostess, Brooke, and this is part three of three of our series in emotional handling. Man, I'm going to tell you, I got like notes and it is really hard to like, look at my notes, and then also have like a frank discussion, because part of me is like, go back to the notes, Brooke, because you're going off, onto another, you know, tangent. And then a part of me is like, but this is serious, too. Oh, my God, problems of a podcaster.

All right. In this episode, we will be discussing the importance of collaboration and talking to others. In the last two episodes, we have discussed a few techniques and ideas for learning emotional management, but how do you know what is normal and what is not? Okay, now, I do hate saying normal because there is an argument for well, who can really say what is normal. However, for the sake of time, we're going to go with the word normal and common, because I believe we have a slight idea about what I mean.

In order to determine what is normal or common, we need to talk to each other, we need to be more willing to be vulnerable, Brene Brown anyone? We need to be talking to each other. It is very easy to get immersed in our own thoughts and emotions and they can become hard to differentiate between what is normal or common and what is very much a personal issue, or something we should truly be concerned about. Remember, monster under the bed versus man coming through the window. So, fear, again, is such a great example, especially when it comes to us business owners because so many fears loved to be activated when we're trying to run a business.

So, as a business owner, in our life, we all experience fears. But in business, there are five common fears that show up among the business owners I work with. They are:

Fear of failure

Fear of success

Imposter syndrome

perfectionism

inner critic.

Be sure and go and comment which one plagues you the most. Mine would probably be the fear of success, which is interestingly enough, a fear that is not very much talked about.

You would be amazed at how all of us are walking around scared we are going to fail. Thinking no one wants what we have to sell. Who are we to teach this idea? And we walk around hearing our moms, dads, partners, critical friends voice judging everything we're doing.

Imagine a day and you might already be here, where you spend it thinking thoughts like, "I suck, and this is never going to work. I can't do this. I'm not smart enough. What if no one buys my program? What if people see that I'm not a million-dollar badass yet? Why would anyone listen to what I have to say? It's already been said by better, more well-spoken people."

All day you thought this to yourself, by the end of the day, I bet you would be depressed and absolutely positive that all of these statements are true. You would go to bed thinking you are truly a loser that does crap work and that no one wants to buy your crappy product.

All right, let's change it up, now. Now imagine a day where you start to have the sauce and you call your business bestie or go to my Facebook page, Rich in Differences and say, "I am going out of my mind. I am totally thinking that my work sucks, and no one is going to buy it, I mean, who am I to be teaching any of this? I mean, so and so is already teaching something similar and makes millions, how will I ever be able to compete with that?"

And then your business bestie goes, or me because if I catch you in the Facebook group, I'm going to be telling you, "Damn, first off, breathe. Second, do you know how many times I have had those same exact thoughts? We all have those thoughts, especially when we're about to launch something new into the world. I remember so and so talking about herself eating a gallon of ice cream scared to death that she was going to fall flat on her face regarding this deal."

Do you think you would go to bed feeling anywhere near as bad as the first scenario? Fear is normal. But you need to learn that not all fears require you to stay up all night long hating on yourself. Actually, no fear should have you doing that. But you get the point.

When we have someone to bounce our inner turmoil off of, we can start to see what is really common and maybe what isn't. Then we can make better decisions on how to handle it when those emotions start to come up in predictable ways and common situations. Because emotions can be predictable if you're paying attention, which you will learn and Episode one and two and if you're doing those techniques. Each time I go to launch anything, the night before I have butterflies in my stomach, I get a little sweaty if I'm being honest, but I don't let that rule me. I know I'm nervous but I'm no longer thinking that I'm terrible, my work is terrible, or everyone is going to hate it, being nervous is normal. So, collaboration is important, talking to each other is important. Because we begin to see what are the things worth looking at and what are the things that we can turn away from?

Go to my Facebook group, start a conversation. Have a question, have a fear, not sure what your next steps are? Not sure if you're in the right mental space for your launch? Or wherever you are in your business. Come talk to us and come see how normal or how common those thoughts, the emotions, those fears really are and let us help you. Because that's what this podcast is about, it's about helping you.

Alright, pop tarts, that's it for the day. I hope you enjoyed this three-part series. Be sure to subscribe, and come on and tell me what you thought, tell me if you're doing it, tell me if it works, tell me if you think it sucks. I mean, come on, I need to know what's working and what's not working for you. Or if you have any ideas or questions or thoughts or whatever, and just hit me up.

Alright, pop tarts, we're going to leave a message to my dad. Hey dad, so glad you listened and no I'm not embarrassed by the fact that you actually like some of my work and it is okay to tell me that and it's okay to like my post, appreciate your support. Love you.

Are you having a hard time overcoming hard times in your life? Times can be hard and unbelievable situations can happen making life unbearable. Fortunately, there are strategies you can us to overcome difficulties and hard times and succeed.

Our guest today is J'Anmetra (Jojo) Waddell. She is an award winning transformational coach, two times best-selling author and seasoned entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience. Jojo is an advocate for domestic violence survivors and victims.

Additionally, she is the founder of Bare Your Hair and Wanddel Consulting Services. She is the only Live Past the Crazy specialist, and she has come on today to talk about the five keys to living past the crazy.

Episode Spotlights

Why Jojo Created the Five Keys to Living Past the Crazy.

• She knew crazy first-hand and she hated when people gave her generic answers, "Oh, Jesus will fix it. It's going to be okay. Pray about it."

• She needed somebody to say, "Jojo, today this is what you do. And tomorrow, this is what you do." She needed steps of how to stop what was going on.

How Jojo Created the Five Keys to Living Past Crazy

• After the crazy in her life had stopped, these were things she was consistently doing all the time to keep the crazy at a minimum.

• Crazy can be defined many ways. Her crazy was an abusive husband.

• The crazy might never to go away, but she can handle it a lot better with the five steps.

What Changed When She Started Implementing Her Five Keys.

• She became more clear

• It helped to get some of the ideas and thoughts out of head onto paper

• They keep her calm, centered, and keeps the crazy away.

• She started to value her mental space and her mental quiet time

The Five Keys to Living Past the Crazy

• Develop a personal mantra

• Write a journal

• Develop a daily goal

• Start each day new

• Find a purpose partner

How to Start Using the Five Keys

• Be committed, not interested

• Start daily a writing routine

• Talk to yourself positively every day

• Value your quiet time

• Find people who are going to genuinely support you

Resources/Links Mentioned in This Episode

• J'Anmetra Jojo Waddell's books on Amazon

Contact Jojo:

•  Website: Be Fearless

•  YouTube Channel: Fearless Morning Show

•  Facebook page: Fearless Morning Show.

•  Instagram: @JanWaddell

•  Twitter: Janmetra

•  Email: [email protected] [email protected]

Check out JoJo's Freebies right here:

Daily Mantra

Reading List

5 Keys to Living Past the Crazy

How to work with JoJo

•  Retreats: Girlfriends Retreat

 August 23-25th - Clearwater - Florida

•  PROGRAMS/SPECIALS 1:1 Coaching (4 weeks ) Meet once a week $97.00 normally $397 open for 20 people. Topics for each week 1. Mindset 2. Foundations Matter 3. New Rules to New You 4. Strengthen your voice by speaking your truth

•  Live Past Crazy Blueprint- $49.99

Ways to Subscribe to Rich in Differences Podcast:

• Itunes
• Stitcher
• Google Play
• Spotify

**Rich in Differences Podcast is not intended to diagnose, prescribe, treat, or cure any disease, physical or mental.

Any advice given on the Rich in Differences Podcast should not be construed as a prescription, a promise of benefits, claims of cures, or a guarantee of results to be achieved.

The information, instruction or advice given by Rich in Differences Podcast is not intended to be a substitute for competent professional medical or psychological diagnosis and care. You should not discontinue or modify any medication presently being taken pursuant to medical advice without obtaining approval from your healthcare professional.

As a listener/reader, you must take complete responsibility for your own physical health and emotional well-being.

TRANSCIPT BELOW

Interview with Janmetra Waddell

00:00 (Intro Music Playing)

00:04 Brooke: Welcome to Rich Indifferences with your host, Brooke, where we discover what works for you in life, health and business. We are not legos and one size does not fit all so grab a good drink and come listen to different perspectives as we see what sticks for you.

00:21  Welcome to Rich Indifferences and today we have guest speaker, Janmetra Waddell or AKA JoJo. Janmetra is an award-winning transformational coach, two times bestselling author and seasoned entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience. She is the only 'live past the crazy' specialist and she has come on today to talk about 5 Keys To Living Past The Crazy. 

Welcome, Jojo, and thank you for coming on.

00:47 JoJo: Hey, Brooke, thank you so much for having me. I am excited to be here. 

00:53 Brooke: Me too. I cannot wait to hear what you have to say about this because I believe we all definitely live the crazy life, for sure. So JoJo, what is your drink of choice today? 

01:04 JoJo: My drink of choice today would be a strawberry margarita with the mango swirl in the center.

01:12 Brooke: Mmm. That sounds good.

01:14 JoJo:  I didn't start drinking till I was 35 and then I discovered those.

01:17 Brooke: They're great. Wow! I am just drinking straight-up sweet tea, which sounds really lame compared to yours. Oh, 35?

01:33 JoJo: Yeah, and then I was watering down my wine so I would put cranberry juice in my wine. 

01:41 Brooke:  That's an interesting way of doing it.

01:43 JoJo: Yeah.  

01:45 Brooke: All right. So let's start at the beginning of your story. What made you create the 5 Keys to Living Past the Crazy?

01:56 JoJo: The reason why I started was because I knew crazy firsthand and I hate it when people gave me generic answers: "Oh, Jesus will fix it. It's going to be okay, pray about it." I didn't need that.

I needed somebody to say, "Jo Jo, today, this is what you do. And tomorrow this is what you do." And I needed steps and I didn't need generic jargon and people to talk to me. I needed somebody to show me the steps of how to stop what was going on. 

02:30 Brooke: I completely understand and I have had similar experiences where all I wanted was an actual step to take and not an idea and that, yeah, that makes all the difference in the world. 

02:43 JoJo: Hmhm.

02:44 Brooke: So, did someone come and teach you this or did you create out of like, did you just take from your own experience and say, "This is what I'm going to start doing to help myself" and then create the 5 keys or like, how did all that come about?

02:58 JoJo: For me, these were things that after the crazy in my life had stopped, these were things I finally started to take notice of that I was consistently doing all the time to stop. And crazy can be defined anyway --- your crazy doesn't have to be my crazy. Mine was an abusive husband. And so your crazy could be the kids, the husband, the job, the commute; it could be whatever. But I realized it was the same things that I was doing over and over and over again that help keep me on track and keep the crazy at a minimum. I don't think it's ever going to go away but I can handle it a lot better with my 5 steps. 

03:42 Brooke: So what changed when you started implementing your 5 Keys?

03:48 JoJo: Some of the things that change for me, I became more clear because when you're in crazy, the first thing that you don't ever do is grieve. You never grieve so then you can't think straight so you're always in straight panic mode. So that it helped me to get some of my ideas and thoughts out of my head onto paper. So I was able to think clearer, I was able to slow down the crazy and then realized, was I willingly participating in crazy? Like sometimes, you know you're going to talk to that one person that makes you want to cuss in 2.5 seconds but yet, you talk to them. So, was I willingly participated in crazy? So I had to think about that and then I started to value my mental space and my mental quiet time. 

I became and I still am very protective, on Sundays, I will bite your head off if you interrupt my quiet time or my mental health time and it has just become things that has, you know, they keep me calm, they keep me centered and keeps the crazy at bay. 

04:50 Brooke: Thank you. So let's talk about the 5 Keys.

04:53 JoJo: Yes.

04:53 Brooke: What are your '5 keys to living past the crazy'?

04:57 JoJo: Well, the first key is for me. Is I had to develop a personal mantra. Like I had because my abuser called me all these crazy names and I wouldn't look in a mirror for like a year, almost two years, I never looked in the mirror. And so I had to develop my own mantra.

So it is now on my bathroom mirror in his words as quotes that I have that I say, when I'm having those really bad days, I have a basic one that says "I look good. I feel good. I am good." And I'm going to say that until I'm ready for it. So the first one is just developing my personal mantra. That's for me. The second one is, I journal. I write down everything that I think I'm feeling. So then I can ---because I like to check myself before anybody else brings anything to me: "JoJo, get yourself under control first." So when I'm journaling it, I can put all that down and see maybe where I went wrong or are my feelings really in or did somebody really hurt me.

  And the third one is, 'develop a daily goal'. It doesn't matter how big or small. When I had postpartum depression if I brushed my teeth that day, I was excited, "Hey, Jojo, you brushed your teeth today" and I celebrate all of it and I just took it for what it was. I wasn't trying to be anything great. 

And then I had to start each day new. I could not hold on to the fact that I stayed in bed and cried all day yesterday. That was yesterday; I deserve to sit in the bed and cry all day. Today is a whole new day. I get to do something different and then I would just get excited about that. 

And then the fifth one was, I called them 'Purpose Partners' now, but in the beginning, I just called it my support system because my family was 400 miles away.So that meant I had to find friends to become my support system. And so now I call them 'Purpose Partners' and that's just people who I can call and say, "I'm having this crazy thought or this bad day." And they don't hesitate to pick me back up, instead of giving me their mantra or their dissertation of what they think and I don't have to worry about that.

07:14 Brooke:  Awesome. Thank you. How would you teach someone to start using the 5 Keys? 

07:20 JoJo: The first thing I would do is ask them if they're interested, they're committed. I think that question is so important and I learned this the hard way if you're interested ---and I always talk about myself first, third and past tense, all versions I talk about myself. So I'll say, "JoJo, if you're interested then every excuse you have is valid." Meaning: I'm tired. I'm sleepy. The kids got on my nerves. My husband aggravated me. I hated the commute. 

So if I'm interested, every excuse I have is going to stop me but if I'm committed to living past crazy, there's no excuse that's going to stop me. It doesn't matter that I don't like the children, I don't like the husband, I don't like the cat, the dog, I don't like anybody, doesn't matter; I'm committed to living past crazy. So the first thing would definitely be to make sure that they had been committed and not just interested because that's important because if not your style.

 And then, of course, the daily journaling; talk to yourself. We talked to ourselves all the time. And I think people are afraid to say like I have a full-blown conversation with me, myself and I, every day on the way to work. I talk to myself, "JoJo, girl, I can't believe you're doing it."

 "I know."

  But when you do that you find the answers there and then I value that there won't be the value of quiet time. We always say we don't know the answer, I can't figure it out. Well, if you think about your morning; you wake up, you turn on the TV and you're listening to the news. You're yelling at the kids, you get in the car. You drop the kids off, you sit in traffic, you yell at people, you listen to the radio, you talk to your mama, you get to work and you're talking to people. You get back in the car, it's the radio, somebody's calling with something urgent on the way home. You got to stop at the store and then you get in. You got to yell to get the kids in the bed, get them to sleep. Cook food and do all the mommy things and then heaven forbid if you got a husband, you got wife things where you ain't even wash clothes. 

You haven't done any of that and then it's 11 o'clock and you're in the bed and you're watching the nightly news and then you're like, "Okay, let me think about myself." and that's the last thought you have before you wake up in the morning. And so, that quiet time just allows you to be quiet so that you can hear the answer because the answer we're looking for is there but we're so busy blocking it out, we can't hear the answer. So definitely the quiet time.

 And then the last would be those 'Purpose Partners'. Finding people who are genuinely going to support you, who are there for you and that everything that you're asking for, you're willing to give back. Like if I'm going to be this great friend to you and support system, I want it back as well. So just be willing to give what you're asking for. 

10:04 Brooke: I love listening to you talk because I think it's so funny like the talking to yourself. So like when I got a divorce, I started seeing a therapist. Something she had me do, and she still will, is if I'm having like something, like there's a disconnect in me, like two sides are warring, she'll make me have a conversation with myself. She's like, "Speak to this side."  And then, "What is this sides response to that?" 

And so, what I've learned is it makes you respect all sides, instead of trying to get rid of it because it's not going away, it's part of you. 

10:37 JoJo: Yeah. It's a part of me. Like I've learned to love all parts of Jojo. Like I love all of me. There's the crazy side, the nerd, the funny, the part that thinks I can sing in a rock band, even though I can't sing it all. I love all parts of me.

10:55 Brooke: Yes. I call it 'the committee of Brooke' now. Like it's a real committee now, you know. But if you don't have someone who's ever done that, they look at you like you were crazy. Like, you what?

11:06 JoJo: They really do. Like you really can't, I was like, yeah. Me and myself, we have great conversations all the time 

11:13 Brooke: Exactly. All right, JoJo, so how can people work with you these days?

 11:19 JoJo: If you want to find me, of course, I'm on all social media and I know my name is so difficult to remember but if you type in 'Live Past Crazy Specialist', I promise, I'm the only one and I'm going to pop up. The website is livepastcrazy.com. But if they want to work with me, they can go to bit.ly/waddellspeaks. And then that's just a short conversation piece that we can have or talk about. Because sometimes I'm a firm believer, people don't want an answer. I mean, they don't want you to give feedback. Sometimes they just want to answer and they just need a safe place to come and vent. They don't need you to give a dissertation. I just need to share my thoughts and with me sharing my thoughts, I figured it out all by myself. I just needed a safe place for somebody to come to listen. 

And so a lot of times, as my youngest daughter says, "You're a space giver." So I'm a space giver. I allow you that safe place just to come and talk and I cannot talk, it's totally up to you, how you want it to go. But just so you can share your thoughts and feelings and then we can decide how we're going to go from there.

12:29 Brooke: Excellent. So where can people find you these days? 

12:33 JoJo: They can find me on all social media; Facebook. I am Janmetra JoJo Waddell. We also have a YouTube channel with over 410 shows. So you can binge-watch all the Fearless Morning Shows. So if you type simply type in 'Fearless Morning Show." And then, of course, we had the Facebook page, Fearless Morning Show, Be Fearless Incorporated Show, a group on Facebook. And then, of course, the website is livepastcrazy.com  And I think that's everywhere. Of course, all social media; Twitter, Instagram is just my name.

13:05 Brooke: All right then, excellent. That's a lot of good places for people to find you and the fact that you have so many episodes, that's a great way for people like you said to binge-watch and really get to know you and your style.

13:17 JoJo: And they could pick a topic. I have the topics there so you can pick whatever you want to listen to. 

13:22 Brooke: Excellent. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on the show. It was a blast talking with you Jo-Jo. 

13:28 JoJo: Thank you so much for having me and I don't know why I sing endings of everything but I sing them. Thank you for having me. I had a great time and I think it's because I can't sing that I habitually try to sing all the time. So thank you so much for having me on the show. I have truly enjoyed sharing the 5 Steps To Live Past Crazy with you guys. 

13:52 Brooke: All right, Pop-Tarts.That's all for this week. Remember: send in your thoughts, your feedback, your ideas, your questions, and your drink of choice; whether it be alcoholic or non-alcoholic and be sure to send in the recipes so you can be featured on the show.

And don't forget subscribe, so you can be around for when I feature you on the show and to get some good content.

Here's to another week. Cheers.

In this episode we talk about what you can expect from this podcast. It's the who, what, when, and where episode!