Ridiculous Revisions

Jack Spriggins, of Jack and the Beanstalk fame, continues to be rewarded for his limitless greed at the expense of others.

Fifty years after a gingerbread man mysteriously came to life and died on the same day, an old farmhand is brutally murdered.

The classic fable The Tortoise and the Hare taught us that "slow and steady wins the race", but is that really the lesson to be learned?  Come see how the tortoise's life changed after his famous win against the hare.

For Rapunzel's hair to get as long as it did, it would have had to grow a lot faster than anyone else's.  Maybe she would have even been something of a medical oddity.  Maybe the witch thought she was doing Rapunzel a favor by taking her from her parents.  Join me as we imagine a completely new version of the Rapunzel story!

You remember Hansel and Gretel, right?  Two children are left to die in the woods by their parents.  Ah, those were the days!  The children get caught by an evil witch who uses a house made of tasty treats to lure her victims in.  One kid gets caged and fattened up for the kill.  The other kid is kept around for slave labor until she has an opportunity to kill the witch and escape.  As hard as this story is to believe, what if it actually covers up a much more bizarre and horrible truth?

This episode, we tackle the tale of The Elves and the Shoemaker.  In the original tale, a shoemaker falls on hard times, but a group of elves starts showing up in the middle of the night to make his products for him and the business climbs out of the red.  Did you ever wonder why the elves helped out the shoemaker in the first place?  Well, maybe the elves had their own reasons.  Maybe the shoemaker was just a means to an end.

No one ever mentions anything of Cinderella after she settled into life at the royal palace.  It’s a life that changes a person, and not normally for the better.

For our first episode, we butcher the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.  In the modern story, a little girl called Goldilocks finds a house in the woods.  She finds no one at home with the door unlocked, so she just strolls right in and helps herself.  She breaks a chair by sitting in it, eats some porridge left out to cool on the table, and falls asleep in one of three beds only to wake up to the inhabitants of the home, a family of talking bears, looking at her.  Goldilocks runs away in fear and that’s where the story usually ends, but what if there was more?  Does Goldilocks really get away with her wanton acts of vandalism, theft, and trespassing?  Let’s find out.