Riding The Trauma Train Podcast

Can your past shape who you are without defining who you become?

Our childhood experiences, relationships and emotional wounds can influence how we see ourselves and connect with others. But what happens when we question the stories we've carried for years?

In Episode 44 of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia welcomes Ryan Hartley, founder of Always Better Than Yesterday, for a deeply personal conversation about childhood experiences, identity, self-worth, heart-centred leadership and finding purpose.

Having known each other for nearly two decades, Lydia and Ryan explore how their experiences have shaped their passion for helping others feel seen, heard and understood.

Ryan opens up about feelings of abandonment, his need for belonging and how seeking validation influenced his relationships and leadership.

Together, they explore reconnecting with yourself, leading from the heart and recognising that your past doesn't have to define your future.

What We Cover

Childhood experiences: How early relationships shape our beliefs and identity.

People-pleasing: How fear of rejection influences our behaviour.

Heartset versus mindset: Understanding your values, strengths and purpose.

Passion, pain and possibility: Three pathways to finding purpose.

Pain into purpose: How lived experiences can inspire compassion and connection.

Heart-centred leadership: Leading with self-awareness and authenticity.

Living authentically: Expressing who you are without changing your entire life.

Your heartprint: How everyday interactions make a difference.

Heartset, Heartwork and Heartprint

Ryan introduces three concepts central to his work:

Heartset: Knowing who you are, what you value and what matters.

Heartwork: Expressing your values through actions and relationships.

Heartprint: The impact you leave through how you connect and lead.

Drawing on the forensic principle that every contact leaves a trace, Ryan reminds us that making a difference doesn't require extraordinary achievements.

Sometimes it begins with helping one person feel valued.

Who This Episode Is For

This conversation may resonate if you:

Have experienced trauma, abandonment or disconnection.

Struggle with people-pleasing or seeking validation.

Feel disconnected from your identity or purpose.

Want to understand how your past influences your present.

Want to live or lead more authentically.

Key Takeaways

Your past can shape you without defining you.

Self-awareness helps you recognise unhelpful patterns.

Purpose can emerge through passion, pain and possibility.

You don't have to turn trauma into purpose.

Heart-centred leadership begins with self-awareness.

Every interaction can leave a positive heartprint.

The Conductor's Question

Lydia asks Ryan what he would say to his younger self.

His moving answer explores self-compassion, reassurance and recognising he never needed to prove his worth.

He leaves listeners with a powerful reminder: every contact leaves a trace.

About Ryan Hartley

Ryan founded Always Better Than Yesterday, a heart-centred leadership coaching and consultancy business helping people reconnect with their values, purpose and humanity.

He also hosts the Always Better Than Yesterday podcast.

Connect with Ryan: [ADD LINKS]

Connect with Lydia

Website: www.ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk

Instagram: @ridingthetraumatrain

Right Track Wellbeing: @right.track.wellbeing

Email: [email protected]

If this episode resonates, share it with someone who may need to hear it and follow Riding the Trauma Train for more conversations about trauma, healing and connection.

Content Note: Discusses childhood abuse, abandonment, emotional distress and spiritual beliefs. Listen at your own pace. Nobody has to find purpose in their trauma.

“How are you?”

We hear it all the time, but how often is someone genuinely asking, and how often is it simply another way of saying hello?

In this solo episode of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia explores the space between saying “I’m fine” and sharing your entire life story. From oversharing and over-explaining to privacy, vulnerability and boundaries, this episode asks an important question: who actually gets to hear your story?

Because being honest does not mean everyone is entitled to every detail.

In This Episode

Lydia talks about:

• Why “I’m fine” can be a complete answer

• Privacy versus being silenced

• Oversharing versus vulnerability

• Why “I’m not fine” does not mean you owe someone an explanation

• The pressure survivors can feel to speak out

• Why sharing your trauma is not proof that you have healed

• Choosing who gets access to different parts of your story

Lydia also reflects on her own experience of sharing more about being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse as the podcast has grown, while recognising that some parts of her story remain private.

Finding your voice can be incredibly powerful, but speaking out should never become another expectation.

You can tell thousands of people, three people or nobody.

Your story still belongs to you.

5 Ways to Pause Before Oversharing

1. Pause before answering

Give yourself three seconds and ask, “Do I actually want to share this?”

2. Give the headline, not the whole article

“I’m having a difficult week” can be enough. You can always share more later.

3. Know what you need

Are you looking for support, connection, reassurance or simply someone to listen?

4. Let the sentence end

“I’d rather not talk about that.”

“I’m struggling today.”

“I don’t feel comfortable with that.”

You do not have to fill the silence with an explanation.

5. Don’t beat yourself up

If you shared more than you wanted to, notice it without judging yourself. Next time, you can pause.

This is not about becoming guarded. It is about having more choice over what you share, when you share it and who you share it with.

The Conductor’s Question

If you could sit beside the earlier version of yourself, what would you tell them about who gets to hear their story?

You are allowed to tell it. You are allowed not to tell it. You can give someone the headline and keep the article for yourself.

And you can change your mind.

Content Note

This episode includes discussion of trauma, childhood sexual abuse, shame, silence and disclosure. Please listen in the way that feels right for you.

🌐 www.ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk

🌐 righttrackwellbeinngltd.com

📱 @ridingthetraumatrain | @right.track.wellbeing

What happens when the beliefs you absorbed as a child follow you into adulthood?

In this episode of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia is joined by British singer-songwriter Starling for a powerful and deeply personal conversation about childhood trauma, finding your voice, self-worth and learning to take up space again.

After once being told she couldn’t sing, Starling went on to build a career in music, turning her lived experiences into songs that explore identity, worth and what it means to rise after difficult experiences.

But this conversation goes far beyond music.

Lydia and Starling explore how childhood experiences can influence the way we see ourselves as adults, from people pleasing and making ourselves smaller to struggling with confidence, money, boundaries and knowing what we actually want.

WHAT WE COVER

• How being told she couldn’t sing affected Starling’s confidence and relationship with her voice

• Finding your voice after years of making yourself smaller

• Why connection and emotional safety matter

• People pleasing, fawning and learning to recognise your own needs

• The beliefs about ourselves that can begin in childhood

• Self-worth, money, receiving and under-earning

• Why outward privilege does not necessarily mean someone felt safe growing up

• Why trying to work on everything at once can feel overwhelming

• Journalling as a way to reconnect with your thoughts and desires

• Turning comparison and jealousy into clues about what you might want

• The stories behind Starling’s songs Queen and Every Single Time

One of the most powerful themes in this conversation is the idea that we cannot always see what somebody has had to overcome to get where they are.

When you compare yourself with someone who seems further ahead, you may be comparing two completely different starting points.

Starling also shares a simple practice she calls “Up Next”. When something online triggers comparison or jealousy, instead of immediately judging the feeling, she suggests getting curious about what it might be showing you about your own desires.

What if social media could become less of a reminder of what you don’t have and more of a way to recognise what you might want for your future?

ABOUT STARLING

Starling is a British singer-songwriter whose deeply personal music explores self-worth, identity, resilience and finding your voice.

After being told she couldn’t sing, she went on to build a professional career in music and work with established artists and songwriters. Her songs, including Queen and Every Single Time, draw on her lived experiences and have connected with women navigating their own journeys of self-worth and change.

CONNECT WITH STARLING

Website: www.starlingsworld.com

Instagram: @starlingsworld

Facebook: Starlings World

CONNECT WITH LYDIA

Website: www.ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk

Website: www.righttrackwellbeingltd.com

Instagram: @ridingthetraumatrain

Instagram: @right.track.wellbeing

Email: [email protected]

Email: [email protected]

https://lydia-lwixjjbm.scoreapp.com

CONTENT NOTE

This episode includes conversations about childhood trauma and abuse, sexual trauma and grooming, suicidal thoughts, mental health, money and difficult family experiences. Please listen in a way that feels supportive for you. If anything comes up for you, consider pausing, grounding yourself and reaching out to someone you trust or an appropriately qualified professional.

LISTEN AND SHARE

If this conversation resonates with you, please follow or subscribe to Riding the Trauma Train, share the episode with someone who may need to hear it, and leave a review to help more people find these conversations.

You do not have to travel this journey alone.

What happens when your life changes in a matter of seconds?

In this episode of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia is joined by Nathan Court, a traumatic brain injury survivor whose huge energy, humour and early morning TikTok Lives have built a community around positivity, movement and getting through the difficult days.

Nathan survived a devastating car accident that left him with a traumatic brain injury, serious facial injuries and permanent double vision. After lying undiscovered for around seven hours, he regained consciousness unable to move his legs. He eventually made his way into the road, where a stranger stopped and took him to hospital. Nathan believes that stranger saved his life.

What followed was major surgery, months of recovery and the uncertainty of what life would look like next.

But Nathan's story is about far more than the accident.

He talks openly about the months when positivity was nowhere to be found and the devastating loss of his brother during his recovery. Nathan shares the deeply personal experience of his eyesight returning enough for him to reach the hospice and say goodbye shortly before his brother died.

The following day, Nathan started running.

What began as getting outside with his dog eventually became 433 consecutive days of running 5K.

Nathan and Lydia explore how movement, nature, routine and humour became important parts of his life, and how that same energy eventually found its way onto TikTok.

But behind the positivity is a reality people do not always see.

Nathan continues to live with permanent double vision, fatigue and the everyday effects of his brain injury. He talks honestly about difficult days, needing to step away and why positivity does not mean pretending everything is okay.

They also explore Nathan's life before the accident, including people pleasing, searching for external validation and living for the weekend. Nathan had already started stepping away from that lifestyle before the crash, but what happened accelerated his journey towards understanding what genuinely made him happy.

From UK pub culture and learning to say no, to social media, loneliness, dogs, humour and giving yourself ten minutes before reaching for your phone in the morning, this conversation is full of simple reminders about investing in yourself.

And perhaps the biggest one is this:

Make the goal smaller.

Sometimes progress is not climbing the mountain.

Sometimes it is getting out of bed.

Brushing your teeth.

Making a cup of tea.

Opening the front door.

Sitting on the doorstep for ten minutes.

Your next step does not need to look impressive to anybody else. It just needs to be yours.

• Traumatic brain injury and recovery
• Living with permanent double vision
• Grief and losing Nathan's brother
• Running 5K every day for 433 days
• Movement, nature and routine
• Positivity without pretending everything is okay
• People pleasing and external validation
• UK drinking and pub culture
• Learning to say no
• Humour as a way of coping
• Setting smaller, achievable goals
• Social media and Nathan's TikTok community
• Learning to live for yourself, not for others

Content note: This episode includes discussion of a serious road traffic accident, traumatic brain injury, surgery, visual impairment, bereavement, cancer, alcohol use and mental health. Nathan also shares personal beliefs about medication, health and recovery based on his own experience. These should not be taken as medical advice.

TikTok: @nathbrainbleed
Instagram: @nathbrainbleed

If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might need the reminder that progress does not have to happen all at once.

Grab your ticket. We're taking this journey one stop at a time.

You are not on this journey alone.

In this episode:Follow Nathan Court

What happens when life changes in a single moment and the future you thought you were going to have suddenly feels uncertain?

In Episode 40 of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia is joined by photographer, speaker and podcast host Tanya Boggs for a powerful conversation about fear, identity, visibility, self-trust and choosing to live fully.

At 21, Tanya was diagnosed HIV positive in 1992, at a time when HIV and AIDS were surrounded by fear, misinformation and stigma.

But Tanya’s story is not defined by her diagnosis.

This episode explores what came next. Living with uncertainty. Navigating stigma and relationships. Rebuilding after divorce. Recognising the ways she had made herself smaller. Challenging imposter syndrome. Learning to trust herself again.

And asking one simple question:

What do I actually want?

WHAT WE COVER

Receiving life-changing news at 21

Living with fear, stigma and uncertainty

The difference between surviving and choosing to live

Why hope and grief can exist together

Navigating disclosure and relationships

How fear can look like procrastination

Imposter syndrome and “Who do you think you are?”

Tanya’s practice of inviting fear “for tea”

Why changing your mind is not failure

Rebuilding after divorce

Learning to trust yourself again

Moving from unseen to unmistakable

WHEN FEAR DOESN’T LOOK LIKE FEAR

Tanya wanted to start a podcast. She bought the equipment. She planned it.

Then the boxes sat unopened for two months.

Eventually, she recognised the thought underneath the hesitation:

“Who do you think you are starting a podcast?”

Sometimes fear looks like waiting, overthinking or telling ourselves we will start someday.

Once Tanya recognised it, she challenged it. Within weeks, her podcast was live.

FROM UNSEEN TO UNMISTAKABLE

Today, Tanya is a photographer, speaker and podcast host.

Her work focuses on helping people move from unseen to unmistakable.

For Tanya, that means becoming more visible, challenging the fear that keeps us small and learning to take up space in our own lives.

One of the biggest messages from this episode is simple:

Changing direction is not automatically failure. Sometimes you have simply learnt what you needed to know.

WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR

This episode may resonate if you:

Struggle with fear or self-doubt

Experience imposter syndrome

Are rebuilding after a major life change

Feel you have made yourself smaller

Are afraid of changing direction

Want to trust yourself more

Feel disconnected from what you actually want

CONTENT NOTE

This episode includes discussion of HIV and AIDS, serious illness, death, bereavement, medical experiences, stigma and relationship breakdown.

Tanya shares her personal lived experience. This conversation is not intended as medical or therapeutic advice.

ABOUT TANYA BOGGS

Tanya Boggs is a photographer, speaker and podcast host whose work centres around visibility, identity, fear and reinvention.

She also hosts the You Are Here podcast.

CONNECT WITH TANYA

Website: TanyaBoggs.com

Instagram: @TanyaBoggsPhoto

LinkedIn: Tanya Boggs on LinkedIn

YouTube: You Are Here Podcast

CONNECT WITH LYDIA

Website: www.ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk

Instagram: @ridingthetraumatrain

Right Track Wellbeing: @right.track.wellbeing

What if you could remember something painful without your body responding as though it were happening all over again?

In this episode of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia is joined by husband-and-wife team Kim and Carl Dourish, co-creators of The MANSE Method®, for a conversation about trauma, memory, triggers, grief and emotional responses.

Kim and Carl describe The MANSE Method® as a psycho-sensory approach that explores the emotional intensity connected with difficult memories, without requiring someone to repeatedly retell what happened.

Lydia also shares her own experience of using The MANSE Method® with a distressing childhood memory.

WHAT WE COVER

How The MANSE Method® developed

Carl’s background in counselling and psycho-sensory techniques

Tapping, eye movements, breath, sensory input and language

The difference between memory and emotional intensity

Why someone may not need to share the details of a painful memory

How sights, sounds, smells and sensations can act as triggers

Childhood trauma, grief, bullying, veterans and emergency services

Carl’s experience of grief following the sudden death of his son

Kim’s lived experience of trauma

Lydia’s personal experience of The MANSE Method®

Why different approaches can exist alongside each other

Kim and Carl’s vision for creating a ripple of transformation

LYDIA’S EXPERIENCE

Lydia went into her experience of The MANSE Method® sceptical.

She chose a childhood memory that initially carried an emotional intensity of around nine out of ten and describes feeling as though she was seven years old again.

As she went through the process, that intensity changed. Lydia describes it as being like watching a film and then turning the television off.

Nearly five months later, she still knew what had happened, but could no longer access the memory with the same emotional attachment.

The practitioner guiding her never knew what the memory was.

This is Lydia’s personal experience and is not a prediction of how somebody else will respond.

GRIEF, MEMORY AND LOVE

Carl speaks openly about losing his son suddenly at the age of 28.

He describes working with some of the painful memories around his son’s death, not to forget him or remove the love connected to him, but to make more space for happier memories of his life.

YOU CAN’T CHANGE HISTORY

At the heart of the episode is a simple question:

You cannot change what happened, but can you change how it feels?

Kim and Carl are careful not to promise healing or a cure. Instead, they explore whether the emotional charge connected with an experience can change while the memory itself remains.

The episode also reinforces that trauma is personal. If an experience continues to affect your life, your response matters.

CONTENT NOTE

This episode includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse, bereavement, child loss, stillbirth, PTSD, suicide, bullying and other traumatic experiences.

Please listen in the way that feels right for you. Pause, skip a section or return another day if needed.

This episode is for information and conversation and is not a replacement for personalised medical, psychological or therapeutic support.

CONNECT WITH KIM AND CARL

The MANSE Method®: www.themansemethod.com

TikTok: @themansemethod

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/kim-dourish/

Email: [email protected]

CONNECT WITH LYDIA

Riding the Trauma Train: www.ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk

Right Track Wellbeing: www.righttrackwellbeingltd.com

Instagram: @ridingthetraumatrain | @right.track.wellbeing

TikTok: @ridingthetraumatrain

Email: [email protected] | [email protected]

Grab your ticket, take a seat, and remember: you are not on this journey alone.

What if burnout is not just about being too busy, and what if gratitude is not always the right place to start?

In this episode, Lydia is joined by burnout expert, author and keynote speaker Cait Donovan for a conversation about chronic stress, resentment, people-pleasing, hyper-independence and why some people may not recognise burnout until they are already deep in it.

Cait challenges the idea that people simply “ignore the signs”. For some, especially those who focus on everybody else’s needs, noticing what is happening inside their own body can be much harder.

This episode is about recognising what resentment might be telling you, reconnecting with basic needs and understanding that burnout recovery takes time.

WHAT WE COVER

Cait’s own burnout experience

The link between adverse childhood experiences and burnout

Why high achievers and people pleasers may be vulnerable

Why some people may not notice the warning signs

Cait’s two starting points for burnout recovery

Why resentment can highlight overgiving and self-neglect

Why gratitude can feel forced during burnout

The importance of foundational self-care

Why support and co-regulation matter

How workplace mismatch can contribute to burnout

RESENTMENT IS INFORMATION

Resentment is often treated as something negative, but Cait encourages people to get curious about it.

Where are you saying yes when you want to say no?

Where are you giving more than anyone has asked you to?

Where are you spending your energy and then feeling depleted afterwards?

Cait describes these areas as potential “energy leaks”. Sometimes resentment can show you where a boundary needs attention or where a small change could help.

PUT DOWN THE GRATITUDE JOURNAL

Gratitude can be helpful when it genuinely connects, but during burnout it can feel forced or disconnected from how you really feel.

Cait suggests paying attention to what is honestly present instead.

Sometimes resentment may give you more useful information than gratitude.

So, burnt out? Put down the gratitude journal.

Not forever. Just long enough to notice what else might be going on.

RECOVERY STARTS WITH THE BASICS

Cait’s version of foundational care is simple:

Drink when you are thirsty.

Eat when you are hungry.

Rest when you are tired.

Move when your body wants to move.

Go to the toilet when you need to go.

If you have spent years overriding your own needs, reconnecting with them can be an important place to begin.

Recovery is not about one magical solution. It is about trusting the process, doing one thing at a time and recognising that every step contributes.

WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR

This episode may resonate if you:

• feel tired, irritable or overwhelmed
• are usually the one holding everything together
• identify as a people pleaser or high achiever
• find it difficult to ask for help
• notice resentment building in work or relationships
• have experienced trauma or chronic stress
• feel guilty because you think you should have noticed sooner

CONTENT NOTE

This episode includes discussion of childhood trauma, adverse childhood experiences, chronic stress, burnout, PTSD and mental health.

Please listen in a way that feels supportive. This podcast is for education and shared lived experience and is not a replacement for medical, psychological or therapeutic support.

ABOUT CAIT DONOVAN

Cait Donovan is a burnout expert, keynote speaker, author and host of FRIED: The Burnout Podcast.

Her books include The Bouncebackability Factor and Mismatch: Why Good People Burn Out in Good Organizations.

CONNECT WITH CAIT

Website: https://caitdonovan.com/

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2VhzgpY24d6xDhxPLGn9Ex

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/caitdonovanspeaks/

CONNECT WITH LYDIA

Website: www.ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk

Instagram: @ridingthetraumatrain

Instagram: @right.track.wellbeing

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need it and subscribe to Riding the Trauma Train.

You left. So why don't you feel free?

This is the space where the immediate crisis has passed and life may look normal from the outside, but inside you can still feel like you are surviving rather than truly living.

Steph shares her own lived experience and explains how trauma can continue to affect the nervous system, identity and self-trust long after leaving an abusive relationship.

She also explores the “beige life”: getting up, working, parenting, dealing with the life admin and keeping everything going, while your own wants, ambitions and sense of self get pushed aside.

IN THIS EPISODE

Lydia and Steph talk about:

Life after leaving domestic abuse

The “messy middle” of trauma recovery

Why being safe does not always mean you feel safe

Fight, flight and freeze responses

Nervous system regulation after trauma

Steph's “invisible trauma backpack”

Lydia's “life plate” and what happens when it becomes overloaded

Living on autopilot and the “beige life”

Why everyday tasks can sometimes feel overwhelming

Catastrophising and Steph's experience of struggling to open post

Somatic trauma-informed coaching

Rebuilding identity, self-worth and self-trust

Learning to make decisions for yourself again

Steph's Regulate, Reclaim, Rewrite framework

Allowing yourself to want more than survival

THE INVISIBLE TRAUMA BACKPACK

One of the most relatable analogies in this conversation is Steph's “invisible trauma backpack”.

Life keeps adding things to it: work, parenting, relationships, money, health and responsibilities.

Eventually, the backpack can become so full that one seemingly small thing feels like too much.

It is not necessarily that one thing causing the reaction. It may be everything you were already carrying before it arrived.

RECLAIMING YOUR LIFE

Domestic abuse can affect identity, confidence, self-worth and the ability to trust your own decisions.

Steph talks about how difficult it can be to know what you want after spending so much time being controlled by somebody else.

Recovery can include rediscovering who you are, what you enjoy, what matters to you and what you want your future to look like.

Sometimes progress is opening one letter.

Sometimes it is noticing what happens in your body when you feel overwhelmed.

Sometimes it is making one decision for yourself.

Recovery does not need to happen in huge leaps.

Towards the end of the conversation, Steph shares the image of a tiny ember that remained inside her even during some of the hardest periods of her life.

Your ember can become a flame.

CONNECT WITH STEPH

Website: transformaftertrauma.com

TikTok: @transformaftertrauma

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/transformaftertrauma_/

LinkedIn: Steph Atkinson Warren

https://www.linkedin.com/in/steph-atkinson-warren/

CONNECT WITH LYDIA

Website: www.ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk

Instagram: @ridingthetraumatrain

Right Track Wellbeing: @right.track.wellbeing

Email: [email protected] / [email protected]

CONTENT NOTE

This episode contains discussion of domestic abuse, coercive control, physical abuse, trauma responses and mental health difficulties.

Please listen when you feel able and take a break if you need one.

If you are currently experiencing domestic abuse, feel unsafe or are concerned about someone else, please seek support from an appropriate specialist domestic abuse organisation or emergency service.

Steph's coaching focuses on post-crisis recovery and is not a replacement for crisis support, therapy or medical care.

SUPPORT THE PODCAST

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe to Riding the Trauma Train, share the episode with someone who may need it, or leave a review.

You survived. Now you are allowed to ask what you want your life to become.

#DomesticAbuseRecovery #TraumaRecovery #LifeAfterAbuse #NervousSystem #RidingTheTraumaTrain

What happens when you've spent so long surviving that you've stopped feeling connected to your own body?

In this episode of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia is joined by Melissa Blynn, CEO of EpicLuv and a trauma-informed coach working with somatic healing, nervous system awareness and feminine embodiment.

Melissa shares her experience of complex childhood trauma, sexual abuse, foster care, cancer and a serious car accident, and how these experiences shaped her relationship with pain and her body. Her journey through personal training, nutrition, NLP and somatic work helped her recognise something important: understanding trauma in your mind and reconnecting with your body are not always the same thing.

What We Cover

Melissa's experience of complex trauma and turning her pain into purpose

How grief and shock trauma led her deeper into nervous system and somatic work

Why trauma can leave you feeling disconnected from your body

What "felt sense" means and how Melissa uses it in her work

Recognising sensations such as tension, warmth, contraction and discomfort

Why reconnecting with the body needs to happen slowly and safely

Sexual trauma, dissociation and Melissa's experience of somatic therapy

The difference between intuition, fear and noticing your body's signals

Why being "the strong one" can become protective armour

Asking for help, vulnerability and allowing yourself to be supported

Feminine embodiment and reconnecting with emotions

Why emotions can give us information about our needs and boundaries

When Strength Becomes Armour

One of the most powerful parts of this conversation explores what it means to always be the strong one.

Melissa talks about women wearing strength as a badge of honour while struggling to rest, receive support or let somebody else witness them when they aren't OK.

Lydia shares her experience of wearing that armour after trauma. Following the death of her abuser, she experienced grief, anger, relief and numbness before reaching the point where she had to acknowledge that she needed help.

Together, Lydia and Melissa explore a different definition of strength, where vulnerability, asking for support and acknowledging your needs can sit alongside resilience.

Coming Back to Your Body

Melissa describes "felt sense" as becoming more aware of sensations within your body.

After trauma or prolonged stress, some people may experience disconnection from their bodies. Melissa shares her perspective on rebuilding that connection and noticing what your body may be communicating.

Rather than forcing yourself to feel something, the conversation encourages curiosity about your internal experience and respect for your boundaries.

Content Note

This episode includes discussion of childhood trauma, sexual and physical abuse, addiction within families, foster care, pregnancy termination, cancer, bereavement and traumatic loss. Melissa also describes an intimate somatic therapy experience.

Please listen in whatever way feels supportive for you. Pause, skip sections or return another time if needed.

This podcast shares lived experience and education and is not a replacement for individual medical, psychological or therapeutic support.

About Melissa Blynn

Melissa Blynn is the CEO of EpicLuv and a trauma-informed coach focused on somatic healing, nervous system awareness and feminine embodiment.

Melissa also talks about her Devotion to the Feminine mentorship and Medicine Within programme.

Website: epicluv.com

Instagram: @my_epicluv

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/melissa-blynn-80246a173

Connect With Lydia

Website: ridingthetraumatrain.co.uk

Instagram: @ridingthetraumatrain and @right.track.wellbeing

Email: [email protected] / [email protected]

If this episode resonated, follow or subscribe to Riding the Trauma Train, share it with someone who may need it, or send Lydia a DM.

And take one question with you:

What is your body trying to tell you?

You are not on this journey alone.

What if anxiety isn't something to fear, fight or get rid of, but something we can learn to understand?In this episode of Riding the Trauma Train, Lydia is joined by award-winning anxiety specialist, clinical hypnotherapist, professional speaker and author Caroline Cavanagh, also known as The Anxiety Alchemist.Together, they explore why anxiety is a natural part of being human, when it can begin to take control, and how trauma and past experiences can shape the way we respond today.Caroline also shares her own lived experiences and explains why, even in our darkest moments, there can still be hope for something different.What We CoverWhy anxiety is a natural survival response.When anxiety shifts from protecting us to controlling us.The similarities between anxiety, nerves and excitement.How past experiences influence our response to perceived threats.Trauma, survival patterns and the emotions we carry.The difference between hypnotherapy and NLP.Why safely processing difficult experiences can be part of healing.Caroline's experiences of bullying, family trauma, exhaustion and anxiety.Why finding the right therapist and building trust matters.The importance of hope when you cannot see a way forward.Who This Episode Is ForThis episode may resonate with you if you:Experience anxiety and want to understand it differently.Have experienced trauma or recognise survival responses in yourself.Feel as though anxiety is making decisions for you.Are curious about hypnotherapy and NLP.Need a reminder that how you feel today does not determine how you will always feel.Key TakeawaysAnxiety isn't automatically the enemy. It is part of the body's survival system and is designed to help protect us when something feels uncertain or unsafe.Our past experiences matter. The brain can use previous experiences as a reference point when deciding whether something in the present might be dangerous.Healing is individual. There is no single approach that is right for everyone, and finding someone you feel safe with can be an important part of seeking support.As Caroline explains through her swimming pool analogy, a therapist can support and guide you, but they cannot swim for you.Most importantly, hope matters. Just because you cannot see the way forward right now does not mean there isn't one.Content NoteThis episode includes conversations around trauma, childhood abuse, rape, suicidal thoughts, cancer, coercive relationships and emotional distress.Please listen at your own pace and take a break if needed. If anything brings something up for you, consider reaching out to someone you trust or an appropriately qualified professional. If you feel unable to keep yourself safe, please contact emergency or crisis support in your area.About Caroline CavanaghCaroline Cavanagh is an award-winning anxiety specialist, clinical hypnotherapist, professional speaker and author of The Anxiety Alchemist. Her work helps people better understand anxiety and develop tools to change their relationship with it.She also shares insights through her Diary of a Hypnotherapist videos.Website: https://www.carolinecavanagh.co.uk/Connect with LydiaWebsite: www.ridingthetraumatrain.co.ukInstagram:@[email protected]:[email protected]@ridingthetraumtrain.comCall to ActionIf this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear Caroline's message.Follow or subscribe to Riding the Trauma Train, leave a review, or join the email community for more trauma-informed conversations, tools and updates.And if you're going through a difficult part of your journey right now, remember Caroline's words:"This too shall pass."The train may be travelling through a dark tunnel right now, but the journey doesn't end in the tunnel.You are not on this journey alone.