Baby, this week the Idiot Parade is marching loud, proud, and crunchy.

We kick things off with the insect breeder who was caught with 100,000 illegal cockroaches. One hundred. Thousand. Roaches. We are talking enough bugs to start a political party. We don’t know what’s worse — the crime or the confidence it takes to look at that many roaches and say, “Yeah, this seems fine.”

Then we slide over to the police station, where an officer allegedly pulled a gun on another officer over microwaved fish. Let us be clear: reheating fish in a shared space is a crime against humanity, but pulling a firearm? Sir, that is not conflict resolution, that is a cry for HR.

Next up: YouTuber Allen Ferrell, who managed to get himself banned from every Six Flags on Earth for eating chicken nuggets on a roller coaster. We have questions. Many questions. Starting with: how did he keep the dipping sauce from flying away at 90 mph?

And finally, MAGA fans are big mad — ticked off, even — about a $640 Trump Watch that is missing the "T". Yes, a watch, for "Rump". We don’t know if it tells time or just vibrates with judgment, but we do know that if you’re spending rent money on butt‑tech, something in your life needs recalibration.

So who will be the Idiot of the Week? Join us as we laugh, scream, and clutch our pearls while asking the eternal question: why are people like this.

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