Roaming 20s

Dave shares thoughts and stories on how to be a good friend to someone who is hurting and working through grief. He shares stories and wisdom on how to walk with people through difficult times.

We discuss questions such as "How can I be a good friend to someone who is hurting? What should I say or not say? How do I avoid trying to fix or solve their problem? And where is God in all of this?"

Books mentioned:

Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg

The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen

Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud

Telling a Better Story by Joshua Chatraw

Other episodes with Dave:

6 | Stories From A Chaplain

11 | Discerning Seasons & Decisions

Quote Alex reads from book Changes that Heal:

The church is split on how to deal with these hurting people. Those on one side of the issue say that people who struggle emotionally are “in sin.” They “don’t have enough faith,” “are not obedient,” or “don’t spend enough time in the Word.” These people tend to blame the hurting person for his or her pain.

The answers Christians on this side of the argument tend to give sound a lot like the ones Job received from his friends. “God is trying to teach you something.” “Look at the blessings you still enjoy.” “God is testing you.” “Give thanks in spite of your circumstances.” The speeches of Job’s three friends contain elements of truth, but do not often help the person in pain.

A despairing person should have kindness from his friend, said Job, “so that he does not forsake the fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14 NASB). Job recognized, as only a person in pain can do, that simple answers not only fail to relieve pain, they can literally drive a person further away from God. The hurting person who takes this sort of advice to heart often has two problems instead of one: the pain she originally had, plus the guilt over not being able to apply the answers she was given.

Jacob shares his stories and thoughts on dating, early marriage, parenting, and early career.

Chet and I talk through mission statements -- Their purpose, how to craft them, and how they've been helpful for us.

 Resources mentioned:

Chet's last podcast episode (episode 4)

Building a Discipleship Culture by Mike Breen book

Younique Discipleship Course

My friend Alex opens up about the road blocks, struggles, and victories he faced throughout his 20s. From taking care of his mom while she fought breast cancer, letting go of a job and the youth ministry he loved, and now settling down into a new community in Atlanta with his wife.

Alex speaks openly about following God's voice into the unknown and seeing God's faithfulness in it, while still naming the struggle these seasons.

Paul shares his story of transformation over the past two years -- The role community had in this transformation, as well as the process of forgiving his father.

Mentioned in the episode:

Choosing Forgiveness by Nancy DeMoss 

Narnia Eustice Dragon Movie Clip - YouTube

Ethan shares the story of his father's death, how it's shaped him, and what he's learned through processing his grief.

 We talk through how to process grief, wrestle with God, and how grief can positively shape us if we allow it to.

While this episode is heavy, we mix in a lot of humor along the way. We had a lot of fun recording this… Enjoy!

Sam talks through his story of the last 5 years. He starts out with his salvation story and then dives into how God lead him through a time of healing and restoring his past. And how our friendship was a catalyst for this.

God often uses relationships to bring restoration… This is a great story of God doing this.

Brady shares his story from the past 5 years navigating his early career. His path has been anything but conventional… Starting out at an insurance startup, then working for a PE firm in Kenya, and now in law school at Duke.

Brady has a really fascinating story and has a neat perspective on work and career. I think you'll find his story inspiring.

Tristan talks through his story of choosing a vocation coming out of school. He shares his story of deciding to work in a sales job instead of vocational ministry and what led him to that decision. He talks through his experience of settling into a life and career, while still being heavily involved in ministry.

Picture of Alex at Local Roots

It can be easy to try to rush into a feeling of settledness during the 20s… My friend Cole talks about his journey the past several years - Discovering his faith, career, navigating dating, and marrying his wife. Cole reflects on his journey in this episode.

At the end, Cole's wife, Sarah, shares her thoughts on her journey of dating, marriage, and settling into life… It's worth staying on to the end for!