Please…sit. And welcome to the Church of Apocalypse Video. I’m your host and pastor, Dave, and joining me are fellow disciples and former Splatterpunks, Mike, Jackie, and Ryan.

Today, we will be reading from the Book of Murphy. Chapter 19, Verse 93: RoboCop the Third.

Topics of discussion in this sermon include the kidified take on everyone’s favorite ultra-violent 80s action hero; we wonder if Lewis should have become a RoboCop; and finally, we ask “Do Japanese Androids Run on Cigarettes?”.

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And thus concludes Jesusary. All rise…and go out into the Wasteland better people. And don’t forget the teachings of our Lord and Savior, RoboCop, who told his disciples: “Stay out of trouble.”