Spring, as is so often said, is the season of rebirth, of new love. It's sunny again, plants are bangin', animals are going to town on each other. The stink of love is in the air, and we here at Instead Of HQ are your trusty SARS mask. To that end, we spend a lot of this episode matchmaking: we weave the tragic tale of star-crossed lovers from opposite ends of our contact lists, Josh gets fresh with Malcolm Gladwell, and we invent a service to help overly friendly gamers creep each other out, probably.

Pairings: a keyboard splash guard; shame; a 10-episode commitment