What happens when a parenting expert becomes a grandma—and her daughter becomes a parent? In this fun and honest episode, Deb Engen and Ericka Graham reflect on decades of parenting, grandparenting, and growing together. They unpack real-life lessons from Love & Logic, talk about the difference between praise and encouragement, and explore how parenting philosophies shift over time. This mother-daughter duo will leave you laughing, nodding, and rethinking how you parent—with love, grace, and logic.
Being a parent is hard. Being a grandparent who raised a parent? Also hard. But also hilarious. And heart-melting. And full of wisdom.
In this episode of The Roots That Last Podcast, we’re joined by Deb and Erika Graham—a mother-daughter duo with a whole lot of experience, empathy, and straight-up truth. Deb brings decades of parenting expertise (and yes, she taught Love & Logic to stadiums full of people), while Erika shares what it’s like to be a modern parent trying to honor that wisdom without losing her own voice.
They dive into:
💬 The power of encouragement vs. praise
🤹♀️ How parenting philosophies shift between generations
🚫 The hard truth about setting boundaries with grandparents
🧠 What kids really learn from how we live
❤️ Why parenting with grace reflects the heart of the Gospel
This one’s full of laughs, warmth, and wisdom for anyone navigating family dynamics while trying to raise kids with faith that lasts.
🎙 Episode Title:
Faith, Grace & Love and Logic – Parenting Across Generations
💡 Episode Summary:
What happens when a mom who taught parenting for decades becomes a grandma—and her daughter becomes a parent? Deb Engen and Ericka Graham open up about how their relationship has evolved, the joys and tensions of grandparenting, and how grace-centered parenting can be both deeply practical and deeply spiritual.
⏰ Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro to Deb & Ericka
04:00 – What Ericka learned from her mom’s parenting
06:30 – Bedtime prayers, gratitude, and faith in childhood
10:00 – Transitioning from daughter to mom—and finding her own voice
14:00 – The beauty and tension of being a close-by grandparent
17:00 – The difference between praise and encouragement
21:00 – Using Love & Logic with toddlers, teens, and everyone in between
25:00 – Why following through is so hard (but necessary)
31:00 – The connection between Love & Logic and the gospel
36:00 – Encouragement, identity, and grace in parenting
39:00 – Why modeling matters more than rules
💬 Key Takeaways:
Encouragement is specific. Praise is generic. One builds identity; the other doesn’t.
Kids need boundaries and empathy—grace and truth.
Parents and grandparents need healthy boundaries too.
Love & Logic isn’t just a method—it’s a mindset that mirrors God’s grace.
Your kids don’t need perfection. They need your presence and your example.
📚 Resources Mentioned:
Parenting with Love & Logic by Charles Fay & Jim Fay
📣 Join the Conversation:
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