rorykl 3Speak Podcast

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/rhxagcdyey
Although I can’t claim to know anything about Ray LaMontagne or any of the specific details surrounding his music, I did find myself deeply identifying with this song, from some distant place in my past.

I sang along with the song in my car for a day (on the way to and from work) before recording it today, and recall seeing from a bird’s eye perspective the poor mangled body of my own young self in so many beat up and self-destroyed situations, fueled by my own sense of God only knows what. Although I did find myself washed over with previously unintegrated emotions during the singing along phase, fortunately I was able to make it through this one without any major upset.

As I practice this song going forward, I will be marking up the print to show things like walk-downs instead of odd chord changes and clarification of timing in places where the chords are played for shorter/different measures. This will improve with time, but it’s a new song I’m learning and I’m excited to get it out there. For anyone who knows guitar, watch the part where it goes from G to Em - it’s funny to me because you can see the transition occur gradually. The first time I come to that part I just go to a D chord in between and get a little gummed up with the timing. The second time, I do the D with an F# bass note and it clicks after I play that one, because from there out I got to simply walking down to the Em…probably almost imperceptible for some, but for others it will be strikingly obvious if you look for it - I love showcasing learning moments, and this was a neat one because a lot of times they don’t happen so distinctly or cleanly in front of the camera :)

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/ztbvizyuwc
Had a tough time uploading, but it looks like I got to the bottom of it.

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/frdjwsageq
# Throwback Video 015/015 #

I can't remember what exactly it was that I saw, but I remember I wandered past a TV and saw something like the Daily Show, making jokes about the corruption of our governments and I thought, man, people are laughing at this, and it's like it's absolved. I think that was when I sat down and wrote this song, just caught up completely in the dissonant feeling that can only come from watching people blindly laughing as they're being robbed, pushed around, and sent off to die. I don't know. I also noticed in that time, that I may look back at all this and think I was being overly dramatic in my interpretation of things - this is why my many sides don't always share the same belief, what I may know with confidence in one moment, is always just one piece away from being disproved and cleaved from the bone...but the ideas wanted a way out, and this is the vehicle I was able to make for them :)

Lyrics:

As I've been walkin' down and out on this muddy Monday morning, Just contemplatin' what it feels like to be me,

I realize I have so many sides, sides, sides,

and they don't always, share the same beliefs

But what I seem to see sometimes is a world so caught up in denial and disbelief, that I can hardly dare to even take myself seriously, when I'm singing, saying that I see a

world, going blind. when I say I see a world going blind.

My how fast we learn to laugh at all the wrong that goes on,

My how laughter just seems to sweep the pain away

My how the pain is gone, and the feeling for a need to change just passes on, My oh my, where has my peaceful youth gone?

But what I seem to see sometimes is a world so caught up in denial and disbelief, that I can hardly dare to even take myself seriously, when I'm singing, saying that I see a world, going blind. when I say I see a world going blind.

Although you best believe, though you may find what you need, that what fools the man makes the man wiser...

R. Laird 2008

[...Back to Rory Originals...](https://ecency.com/hive-150480/@hive-174589/rorykl- original-songs-on-hive)

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/dzyxddjluu
# Throwback Video 014/015 #

The opus! This may not be the version to reflect as much, but in my opinion this is the best song I ever wrote. I remember sitting on the concrete with the Gretsch Way Out West, practically going mad trying to come up with a song, but nothing would come to mind. This was a turbulent time. The tension between the drummer and I had become so strong we finally had to recognize it was done. Friends started falling away, the house was in shambles, everything was coming down so fast and so hard I had not taken the time to reflect on how it all, but sitting down on the concrete, practicing new chords and new voicings for old chords, I finally let go of my desire to create a new song, and the moment I freed up my mind from worrying about what I though I *should* be doing, the song came to me almost all at once. I began my old rhythm of cycling between playing/singing, and writing down whatever came out. By the end of it, I had this composition, which for me spoke volumes of my current reality. I could go into detail on each line and its meaning, but as before, I don't think that adds to the value of the song. I will tell you, however, that back then, Fat Tuesday was one of my aliases, and Ying Ciao was something I made up, which referred to a situation in which you're unlucky enough to get into a really bad situation, but lucky enough to make it out without too much damage...so that line refers to the paradigm shift that was happening while the song was written.

The last lines are my favorite. I remember thinking about what a bad year it had been, and thinking about my years in the army, wondering if I had any good years to look forward to...and then it hit me - when you cut down a tree and see the rings, some are thick and some are thin, each ring is different, and is a product of that year's weather and conditions - but the tree doesn't complain about bad years or hope for good ones...it just tries to survive and grow, and when it's all over, the wood shows the story of all those years together, in a beautiful grain.

Lyrics:

Well I've never been a vision of perfection and I've lived long enough to see my pedestal grow old. And I've learned no matter how true the words, some folks don't wanna hear your story told.

But oh mama mama, my heart is breaking

But I'll get by somehow

Sleeping under the circling stars, by the racing water, under the black silhouetted trees You know I'm sorry because I love you so much but I just, can't tell you what that means No I can't tell you what that means

So Ying Ciao was feelin' lucky and Fat Tuesday was happenin' all around The celebration was going on, but you couldn't hear a sound

And Ying Ciao began to feel his neutrality, slipping away

And he said: pour me another glass of wine my friend I need another drink esta noche, no?

Let me tell a little story my friend, but why tell about what I can still show? He said this scar is from my youth you see, and this one is from the war This bit of old tattoo you see is a shield over my broken heart,

and I don't know why, I don't know why it always is,

things don't seem to do quite like they did

yeah I don't know why, it always is,

things don't seem to do quite like they did

And the bartender said yeah man I know man, I remember days that were better than this

I think I might be thinkin' about the same days that you seem to be beginning to be missing Seems like I used to see such brighter rays comin' off of the sun

Think it mighta had something to do with the way I used to smile at everyone and I don't know why, I don't know why it always is

Things don't seem to do quite like they did

Yeah I don't know why it always is,

Things don't seem to do quite like, they did

But oh mama mama, my heart is breaking,

but I'll get by somehow cuz I know

Some years are bad and some years are good,

but in the end, it's really only all just a part of the wood yeah, Some years are bad, and some are good,

and in the end, it's really only all, just, a part of, the wood

R. Laird 2008

[...Back to Rory Originals...](https://ecency.com/hive-150480/@hive-174589/rorykl-original-songs-on- hive)

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/rrcdzdwroi
# Throwback Video 013/015 #

Ok next up on the greatest hits of RoryKL - another of my drop dead absolute favorites. This isn't the greatest version ever recorded, but it's the best one that survived the existential crisis period, and by far, I still think it's really good. This is another piecewise compostion, but where Yesterday's Magic was an amalgamation of events from my own life, reading like a mashup of journal entries, this one is more like if I drove around town and took a bunch of pictures. Scenes and images that came into my field of vision and inspired a lyric, all taped and thumbtacked together to create a collage...that's this one. The tape and thumbtacks are life experiences contemporary to that time, but the imagery is mostly just stuff I saw happening around me. As I write this, I'm tempted to go through the song an detail which lines fall under which category, but ultimately I think that such an in depth breakdown might cheapen the song, and I like this composition too much to wreck it with my careless poking and prodding.

The one thing I do remember quite clearly is that this song got it's heavy energy from that falling out that occurred between the drummer and myself, as he had (in my opinion) made it his goal to "steal my lunch." There are some notes to the story here that also connect back to Simon Says, assuming you've been following this whole 15 episode throwback thing I've been doing, and the how've you been my old lover part is from a time when a girl who broke up with me came back one night, wanting me to come out drinking with her and her friends after something like a year apart. Anyway, the song is a mashup of many different events, but tell one cohesive story about all the things that were taking place in and around my life at the

time :)

Lyrics:

Well I've got food on my jeans, hard and dry

Over-sexed and under-slept I guess that's why it is that I can say that I've been doing fine. Until people bring to question, that which it is that I do,

And I may joke but I believe it man, stealin' someone else's lunch well it just ain't cool.

And I don't expect to see that your perspective has changed

I don't expect to see that your priorities have been rearranged

I ain't gone try 'n tell you what it is that you should believe but I'll protect my mind like a soldier and my soul like a thief

Well fifty feet away, picket signs and shouting voices on display

As the protesters protest, in isolation to eachother

The only ears in range to hear are those (those those those) of one another And it may be dark but the night is young, how've you been, my old lover

And I don't expect to see that your perspective has changed

I don't expect to see your priorities have been rearranged

I ain't gone try 'n tell you what it is that you should have believed but I'll protect my mind like a soldier and my soul like a thief

Well there's blood, on the walls, and shadows gently circling on the ceiling.

I think I'm losing my mind but it turns out it's really only just my fingers losing all of their feeling. I been sleepin' real funny (real funny real funny) when I can sleep at all

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/tdvmwpcnfl
# Throwback Video 012/015 #

Ok y'all, now we're gettin' down to it. 12-15 are, in my opinion, some of the very best songs I ever wrote. This one is a mixed bag, which was one of my favorite ways to write a song. The first verse is my wife, the second verse my best friend, who was also my wife's brother...we were friends before I met her, and choosing to build a relationship with her meant changing the dynamic between me and my friend, and the third verse is is the drummer in my old band after we had a falling out. These three events spurred me to leave Kansas, looking to build a new life with my (now) wife, thus ending a major chapter in my life and beginning a new one.

I liked doing piecewise compositions like this back then because it allowed me the flexibility of being able to draw inspiration from multiple sources for a single song, which knocks down a lot of the limitations that can hold a song back from completion. These days I like that I came up with this method, because when I look back on old songs I wrote in this way, they tell a much bigger picture, they're like obscured pages from a journal of my life, which may be too hard for others to decipher on their own, but as soon as I see the words I remember all the stories at once, like a whole time period unfolding in an instant.

Lyrics:

Well well well, what have we here?

Another lost train blowin' across the plains and turnin' days into years

And I don't even wonder why, when I look in your eyes, I grin from ear to ear

See, yesterday was magic, Look at all, we've done Yesterday was magic, Look at all we've done

Remember when we rolled, we begged and borrowed but we never stole, From scene to scene like young gusts of wind

The times were solid gold, I wouldn't change a thing

Although I can't find my way back again

See, yesterday was magic, Look at all, we've done Yesterday was magic, Look at all we've done

I know that I can be cold, and I have been told By the voices in the wind that we are falling apart

Although we have grown old I feel that I've seen your soul

And I'm sure that I know of the goodness that you've got in your heart

See, yesterday was magic, Look at all, we've done Yesterday was magic, Look at all we've done

Oh and I have seen, the end, of a dream... and a new one just beginning

R. Laird 2009

[...Back to Rory Originals...](https://ecency.com/hive-150480/ @hive-174589/rorykl-original-songs-on-hive)

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/erzvhmqzlj
# Throwback Video 011/015 #

I personally love this one. I mean, they're all my babies and I love them all, but this one really speaks to the me of back then *and* the me of now. Back then I was hypersexualized in my mind, very much addicted to empty thrills and meaningless acts of selfishness. I love the way the lyrics capture that, with really visceral terms like *leaving out of the backdoor* and *light your fire/use my wood* - I think from listening to this song, it's pretty evident I wasn't the kind of guy anyone would want to settle down with. In the end of the song however, the lyrics speak more to the me of today, the me with a wife and two daughters, the me that has grown up a ton since those aimless days - in the end, the lyrics turn and point out that I'm beginning to awaken to the sad reality that the life I'd been building was empty and meaningless.

This song was written in the beginning of the end of my oat-sowing days, as they call it :) I was a hopeless romantic as a young boy, then a careless childman with a love of, shall we say, meeting new people and trying new things(?), and then eventually I stepped away from music and stages and all that, and focused on being a husband and dad. I'm sure there were other steps in there, but that's the gist. Anyway, having written and recorded this song while I was still in the throws of my wild period, it's impressive to me to look back on it and see the evidence of myself waking up to the need for a more complete existence...I'm glad I found my way out of that old life and into my next chapter.

But Simon says baby love me good

Lyrics:

There ain't no woman on my wagon Lord, no no, for me to show

and every time that I leave my woman Lord, I'm leavin' outta the back door

Well Simon says baby love me good Simon thinks it should be understood So come on baby let me love you good

I loved you baby, ever since I knew your name

but ever since you met me baby you've been tearin' at my head with your games

I fill the pale with water baby, from the well on top of the hill

And when you ask if I'll love you forever you know I'm always gonna "say" that I will

So come on baby let me love you good Don't you see that it should be understood I'll light your fire and we'll use my wood

But sometimes I begin to feel like I could be doin' better without all of this heartless love

And sometimes I begin to think that might be why the sign for peace is represented with a flying dove Watch him flyin' away [...]

R. Laird 2009

[...Back to Rory Originals...](https://ecency.com/hive-150480/@hive-174589/rorykl-original-songs- on-hive)

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/tirtmzkftg
# Throwback Video 010/015 #

This is another one I should probably just *not* explain but for this one, I feel like it's not obfuscated...you can probably tell something is up just from the chords I chose and the lyrical composition. But in either case, this one was written about my first experience with mescaline, extracted from a cactus called San Pedro (aka [Trichocereus Pachanoi](https://www.gardenia.net/plant/trichocereus-pachanoi)).

Truth be told, I should have done a little more research so that I could have been prepared for the sick-to-my-stomach feeling that hit me shortly after drinking the bitter mash. Anyway, those days are a long ways behind me now, but I really was pleased with this song. It was probably the most unpopular of my personally curated collection of orignals, but it stayed on the list just for me :)

Lyrics:

Six by Seven, they all walk down

Six by seven, into the hole in the ground

And I would never have wondered,

If I'd never seen.

But as it is I'm blundered and lost and I've fractured the words that I meant to mean. San Pedro, got me feelin' all wrong,

San Pedro, got me feelin' all wrong, San Pedro, got me feeli---in' all wrong

Stuck here in San Pedro, feelin' all wrong,

The Arab of Lawrencia sang his sad song of his lost friend,

Turn it into the night and it's fear and loathing in Lawrence again

And I would never have wondered,

If I'd never seen.

But as it is I'm blundered and lost and I've fractured the words that I meant to mean. San Pedro, got me feelin' all wrong,

San Pedro, got me feelin' all wrong,

San Pedro, got me feelin' all wrong,

Dark walk after midnight,

Underneath melted moonlight,

San Pedro got me feelin' all wrong, but baby you've got me feelin' alright

R. Laird 2009

[...Back to Rory Originals...](https://ecency.com/hive-150480/ @hive-174589/rorykl-original-songs-on-hive)

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/rmjiscrcaw
# Throwback Video 009/015 #

This one I love, at least partially just because I think it has good lyrical composition and some clever lines mixed with a nice instrumental melody - there's not honestly a ton of personal history in this one though. This is another one I wrote from an imagined or borrowed perspective. I spent some time bumming around Lawrence and hanging out in the shelters, and this one was written from the mixed perspectives and stories of some of the people I met in those days.

I don't fully understand the stigma many people have for the homeless. A homeless person is not more likely to steal than someone with more possessions, although they typically *are* more likely to be stolen from. But regardless, I've found many good people in my life, who didn't have a place to call home (except for earth itself of course, which probably deserves to be counted), so it felt like a good thing, to share some element of their humanity through the gift of song.

Lyrics:

I was sittin' on a bench at the park Lord it must have been about an hour past dark when I, looked up and she was, looking down at me

She said your shirt is tattered and torn, oh, your face is weathered and worn

You're a poor boy, as far as my poor eyes can see. Yeah you're a poor boy, she said,

Yeah you're a poor boy, yeah,

You're a poor boy and you're lost in the big rich city Yeah you're a poor boy, she told me,

Yeah you're a poor boy, yeah,

You're a poor boy and you're lost in the big rich city Yes I'm a poor boy, I replied,

Yes I'm a poor boy, I know,

Yes I'm a poor boy and I'm lost in this big rich city.

Sittin' same bench and same park, oh, but it was just before dark when a, stranger came up and sat down next to me

She said I like to come out and feed the birds in the day cuz it

helps me to forget the way that

I---I been livin' my life

Been putting judgement on others, oh I never was a good daughter to my mother and I, been livin' alone ever since

She said you're a poor boy, no, no no,

You're a poor boy, yeah yeah,

You're a poor boy so just watch how you behave She said just watch out when you're walking love, Won't you watch out when you're walkin' yeah, Won't you, watch out so you don't step on my grave

So won't you watch out when you're watchin Lord Yes I'm hopin' that you're watchin' Lord

Said I, hope that you're watchin' over me

Yeah I hope that you're watchin' Lord, I hope that you're watchin' Lord, Hope that you're watchin' over me

Yeah I hope that you're watchin' Lord,

I hope that you're watchin' Lord,

I hope that you're watchin' Lord, cuz I can barely see

R. Laird 2007

[...Back to Rory Originals...](https://ecency.com/hive-150480/@hive-174589/rorykl-original-songs-on-hive)

https://3speak.tv/watch?v=rorykl/hyfikoxxum
# Throwback Video 008/015 #

Have you ever been frustrated by, for example, The Beatles refusing to admit that Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was about LSD? I always was. I thought, what are you hiding, no one cares and at least if we have confirmation we can enjoy knowing the intention behind the song! ...but this song is one of a couple that taught me the hard way - sometimes you need to keep the meaning to yourself, not to selfishly preserve the mystique, but for the fans (particularly applicable with artists who really have fans of course).

I shared the meaning behind this song with a few people along the way, and found all of them were disappointed. Personally, I was quite proud of what I'd done in this song, but sometimes when you write a song in a way that obscures the meaning of things, you find people are disappointed to learn the clear and unfiltered inspiration/meaning behind the song. It takes effort to turn a stupid story into one that grabs peoples attentions and imagination...it doesn't usually do well to then reverse it and tell everyone: look! this song is actually based on something really stupid! So I guess for now, let's just say it's a song about summer romances :)

Lyrics:

Well Miss Emma and I shared some time, while she was so far from home

But the Zig Zag man told me that I should let Miss Emma be alone

You know Angie, she stole my heart, we spent the whole summer just stayin' at home But Mary you've always been my girl and baby that much you should know.

But the Jakes wanna get me to leave my girls alone,

And Old Bill's tryin' to drive all of you out of my house and my home...

But I love you so, I love you so

Well Lady Hazel you struck fear into me from the first time I saw your face, I wanna love ya little China Cat but I'm afraid that I'd lose my place

I've got gray shields over my eyes and fat blues on my mind well whatdya say and my mind may already be gone but ground control knows the way

But the Jakes wanna get me to leave my girls alone,

And Old Bill's tryin' to drive all of you out of my house and my home... But I love you so, I love you so

So Mary, swing by and swing low, under the quarter moon

I may sing too loud or too much but baby this is your tune

so we'll dance one more time again, although I've got so many things to do and I'll be sleeping well tonight cuz I'll be sleeping with you

...yeah I'll be sleeping well tonight, cuz I'll be sleeping with you

R. Laird 2008

[...Back to Rory Originals...](https://ecency.com/hive-150480/ @hive-174589/rorykl-original-songs-on-hive)