with my new security doorbell camera, i was able to get some footage of this guy trying to snoop around my house. i have a few stories of people trying to break into my home. I also set a boundary with my mother and i chat about becoming self reliant because i dont have the support system id like to. remain consistent y'all and keep prioritizing yourself.

I am back and i am better than ever! Heres some updates but one real take away is that i havent stopped being productive and given up so you shouldnt either. lets continue to build.

ive been struggling lately with feeling like i smother people into not wanting to be around me. i kind of was triggered when my trainer made fun of me during the very few times im extroverted to people im not used to. it ruined my mood but my mood wasnt the best anyway. 

I really hope to make friends who share my interests and reciprocate my energy sometime down the line but until then this may be a down day but im still pushing. working writing and recording this podcast baby. keeping myself motivated.

working again, modified my rewards list, and even fixed my sleeping schedule! it has only been the beginning of my true journey to greater habits and thus greater life but i feel pumped seeing the direction its going in. consistency is key yaw. lets do this together.

I had to re record this because I was all over the place eve more than I was in the final product lol. Im still struggling with building these new habits to change my lifestyle but im working on them and havent given and thats what matters. im trying to rewire my brain through rewarding myself for my achievements. I think roast culture in the black community may be one of the leading causes to our lack of unity as a community and thus our lack of progress. people dont let you breathe. they will judge you for who you are at every turn and being a man is being comfortable with being a human. 

Today i talk about the progress I've made and are continuing to make. I'd felt like i wasn't being the most productive this past few weeks even though I was still making an effort to find a job and preparing for my court case etc. its just the days were still mostly empty but now i feel the results of that effort I was making coming in and it feels good. i have developed methods to organize and track my productivity and a potential way to rewire my brain for good for the better! I touch on the toxicity of my family today as well. cutting people off is a very necessary thing in my opinion and I'm happy to feel benefits from it with minimal doubt or regret.

welcoming my brother back to the podcast! we are officially roommates on a mission to better our lives and escape this never ending cycle of struggle. we both know that we are above this current environment we are in but we need to start acting like it and we finally are.

I feel like i was all over the place with this update but the long and short of it is i'm ready to build for myself and recover from the most difficult and traumatizing year of my life. I will make life better for myself despite all the odds counting against me. i know that if i can make it through this difficult society and this difficult family, and this difficult financial struggle, i can make it through anything

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This is the new podcast. this is my outlet for documenting my progress as i begin a new journey to resolve the old issues in my life. im simply tired of the struggle. im tired of the pain and depression. i want better for myself and im going to have it.

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