The thing about Mark Ruffalo is that he's so hot, it can be a little bit confusing. To help you make sense of your emotions, we tried to analyze the roots of his appeal.

Whether he's the soft bad boy (You Can Count on Me, The Kids Are All Right) or the brain (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Avengers) or our sweet internet boyfriend (13 Going on 30, Just Like Heaven), Ruffalo retains an air of lived-in sexiness... kind of like a younger Detective Columbo, who can't keep a (Marvel) secret. This week, Fanfic Wars has two very different scenarios: hotel room vs messy couch. We keep warning you but this time we mean it: listen responsibly.

Do you need help figuring out your next crush? Drop us a line! Leave us a message at (765) 8-THIRST (765-884-4778) with your name and what kind of crush advice you're looking for, and maybe we'll answer your question in an upcoming Thirst Sommelier.

Follow us on Twitter @ThirstAidKit. Bim is @bimadew and Nichole is @tnwhiskeywoman. Find show notes, fanfic, and more on our Tumblr. Share your drabbles with us there or email them to us at [email protected]. Our music is by Tanya Morgan. 

For your safety, we recommend that you avoid operating heavy machinery while listening to Thirst Aid Kit.  

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