Musician Ruia Aperahama found it impossible to continue the way he was living, using drugs and alcohol to self medicate. It took a failed suicide attempt for him to finally accept that his addictions masked a deeper, more traumatic pain caused by childhood abuse.

These days Hareruia (Ruia) Aperahama, talks a lot about waking up and accepting responsibility. They've always been themes he's explored throughout his musical career. Yet, what is remarkable about his life presently is that he's doing all of that and more, with the knowledge and then acceptance of horrific trauma - that all came to a head a few years ago. It's had Aperahama really stripping back what's important to him as an artist who identifies strongly and proudly Māori and Ratana and as a person whose needs were often subsumed by those of the collective. It's really had him examine how he wishes to live his life while standing within and practicing mana motuhake.