Ruminating about the narcissist is a common issue that most narcissistic abuse survivors go through. It is a very difficult issue to tackle and the toxic narcissistic ex doesn’t make it any easier with some very standard tactics. First they will use a variety of “techniques” to keep them in the forefront of your mind. This includes holding on to personal belongings, sending unwanted things over (such as food, or some trinket that doesn’t matter), and the all too common hoover.