Christians are often known for talking more than listening. Part of relationship building and discipling others is listening. It doesn't start and stop with a "how are you today?", listening to one another goes deeper.
Before you can have those deeper conversations, you need to start with understanding smaller aspects of who they are. Ask these kinds of questions:
Where are you from? Tell me about your family.
What’s one of your favorite… restaurants, games, sports teams, TV shows, etc.
What are you into during your free time? Finding common ground is always a great way to connect, or choosing to learn more about what they enjoy doing and why.Show actual interest in the other person and what is going on in their lives. Because as you ask them these kinds of questions that seem more surface level, as you listen you may discover deeper things about them – their values, beliefs, hurts, etc. We need to seek to understand those deeper things others say if we are to be a blessing.
Be fake when you ask questions. Have to be sincere, not just asking questions to get them out of the way so you can finally get your say. Asking somebody, “How was your day?” Merely out of politeness when really you only really want to start talking about your own day.
Point out that the other person is wrong or discount their feelings. “Why would you feel that way? That’s so ridiculous!” “That’s nothing, you should see what I have to deal with!” How are statements like those helpful? Is there any chance of being a blessing?Even if you can’t relate or if you have a different viewpoint from the other person, don’t disregard what they have to say.
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