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S08E05 - Coen Teo & Brenda Ng - Finding The Courage To Be Yourself
What happens when the story you’re living was never meant to fit the path laid out for you?
In this episode of Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Coen Teo, co-founder of TransBefrienders, sits down with Brenda Ng, Chief Fun(d) Officer, The Facilitators Project & Forest School coach, for a powerful conversation about gender identity, survival, family, and what it really means to live truthfully in a society that prefers neat categories.
From as early as three or four years old, Coen knew something didn’t align. Born female, he instinctively saw himself as a boy and this truth surfaced in small, everyday moments: how he played, how he wanted to be addressed, how deeply uncomfortable he felt in a body the world insisted was his. But in a traditional family with no language for gender dysphoria, those feelings had nowhere to go.
By the age of twelve, Coen was already carrying a level of loneliness and despair, quietly planning his own death in a world that couldn’t recognise who he was.
What saved him was finding a new language to express and understand himself, community, and eventually, the courage to keep living.
In this deeply human conversation, Coen shares his journey through transition, family estrangement, workplace discrimination, and the exhausting reality of living a double life just to stay safe. He speaks candidly about microaggressions and the difficult decision many trans people face: to leave jobs, homes, and relationships simply to exist as themselves.
Together, Coen and Brenda explore the stories that are rarely told about being transgender in Singapore:
✨ How gender dysphoria shows up long before words exist
✨ Why “don’t ask, don’t tell” can quietly destroy relationships
✨ The hidden emotional toll of transitioning beyond hormones and surgery
✨ What safety really means when everyday spaces feel threatening
✨ How community, befriending, and shared lived experience can save lives
Today, Coen channels his lived experience into TransBefrienders; creating the very support system he once desperately needed, so that trans youths don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
If you’ve ever felt like you've had to hide parts of yourself just to survive, and wonder what it really takes to be seen and understood, this conversation will resonate for you.
🧼 Life is rarely a straight road and that doesn’t mean you’re lost.
🚽 Everyone deserves and need safety, dignity, and belonging.
💛 And the stories we don’t tell are often the ones that keep people alive.
GOODIES FROM PROVIDENCE CAFE & BAKERY AND GOOD NEWS CAFE!
- Mention 'CLEANYOURTOILET' during payment to enjoy 10% off your second item purchased. Valid till end 19 March 2026
#CleanYourToiletPodcast #GetReal #InnerWork #PersonalMastery #WhatTrulyMatters
#StoriesWeDontTell #Transgender #Stories #GenderDysphoria #Human #LGBTQ #Singapore #Podcast #Suicide #FamilySupport #DoubleLife #SocialImpact
View all episodes
By cleanyourtoiletWhat happens when the story you’re living was never meant to fit the path laid out for you?
In this episode of Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Coen Teo, co-founder of TransBefrienders, sits down with Brenda Ng, Chief Fun(d) Officer, The Facilitators Project & Forest School coach, for a powerful conversation about gender identity, survival, family, and what it really means to live truthfully in a society that prefers neat categories.
From as early as three or four years old, Coen knew something didn’t align. Born female, he instinctively saw himself as a boy and this truth surfaced in small, everyday moments: how he played, how he wanted to be addressed, how deeply uncomfortable he felt in a body the world insisted was his. But in a traditional family with no language for gender dysphoria, those feelings had nowhere to go.
By the age of twelve, Coen was already carrying a level of loneliness and despair, quietly planning his own death in a world that couldn’t recognise who he was.
What saved him was finding a new language to express and understand himself, community, and eventually, the courage to keep living.
In this deeply human conversation, Coen shares his journey through transition, family estrangement, workplace discrimination, and the exhausting reality of living a double life just to stay safe. He speaks candidly about microaggressions and the difficult decision many trans people face: to leave jobs, homes, and relationships simply to exist as themselves.
Together, Coen and Brenda explore the stories that are rarely told about being transgender in Singapore:
✨ How gender dysphoria shows up long before words exist
✨ Why “don’t ask, don’t tell” can quietly destroy relationships
✨ The hidden emotional toll of transitioning beyond hormones and surgery
✨ What safety really means when everyday spaces feel threatening
✨ How community, befriending, and shared lived experience can save lives
Today, Coen channels his lived experience into TransBefrienders; creating the very support system he once desperately needed, so that trans youths don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
If you’ve ever felt like you've had to hide parts of yourself just to survive, and wonder what it really takes to be seen and understood, this conversation will resonate for you.
🧼 Life is rarely a straight road and that doesn’t mean you’re lost.
🚽 Everyone deserves and need safety, dignity, and belonging.
💛 And the stories we don’t tell are often the ones that keep people alive.
GOODIES FROM PROVIDENCE CAFE & BAKERY AND GOOD NEWS CAFE!
- Mention 'CLEANYOURTOILET' during payment to enjoy 10% off your second item purchased. Valid till end 19 March 2026
#CleanYourToiletPodcast #GetReal #InnerWork #PersonalMastery #WhatTrulyMatters
#StoriesWeDontTell #Transgender #Stories #GenderDysphoria #Human #LGBTQ #Singapore #Podcast #Suicide #FamilySupport #DoubleLife #SocialImpact