The Thumb Elves are back with the Christmas episode and boy is it the worst gift under your tree. We talk about the existence of Santa Clause [warning: SPOILERS] as well as the existence of Chunky peanut butter [warning: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE] (0:04:16). We evaluate how poorly we’d perform in a $5,000 secret Santa grab (0:15:46), Christmas Day battle strategies (0:35:15), how pristine the original iPods were (0:43:19), and which Christmas songs deserve to be praised vs. which deserve to experience the ultimate dishonor… being sung by us on a podcast (0:54:13).