“There’s so much power in the pause,” says Nikki Cruz, viral TikToker and blogger. Once a self-proclaimed tiger mom, Nikki has since realized that this style of parenting was not what was best for her son. She came to understand that her tendency towards an authoritarian approach was rooted in inherited generational thinking and decided to shift to a more nurturing parenting strategy. Understanding the power in the pause is one method she now uses to decompress and reset before instantly reacting to a problem. She explains that this transition to more peaceful parenthood has allowed her son Kalev, now six years old, to blossom into a more independent, confident and outspoken child.

After sharing this parenting journey on social media, Nikki quickly went viral on TikTok. She has since become passionate about sharing her story to help others reclaim their personal power, discover new possibilities in parenting and learn how to create the lives of their dreams. Her handle, @maartemami, reclaims the Tagalog word maarte, which is usually directed towards women viewed as over-the-top or “too much.” Nikki transforms the sentiment to embrace her “doin’ the most” outlook, as she constantly seeks new ways to invite more ease and happiness into the daily challenges of juggling a career and being a mom.

Tune into this week’s episode of Bathtime 2 Boardroom and join Nikki, Colleen and guest host Monica Chandra for a conversation about the unique joys of motherhood. Learn about Nikki’s calming corner, how to work with your partner to develop shared parenting strategies, and why Nikki is ok with letting motherhood define her. And, remember, the world needs kids and adults who are doing too much, so let your doing-the-most-ness shine!

Quotes

• “There’s nothing wrong with being ‘too much.’ The world needs it, and the world needs kids and adults who are too much.” (3:03-3:09)

• “I share with my followers that you can have your own set of rules when you collaborate with your kid, but I think that the best thing is to leave [the calming corner] open, so that they just naturally gravitate to it. Sometimes [my son] just wants to go there and relax and read a book, other times he’s like, ‘I’m having a lot of high energy right now, let me just go in here and lift my 5-pound medicine ball to help me relax and focus’….I think it’s very fluid and open the way any family can leverage the space.” (10:22-11:17)

• “If your husband, wife, or partner has a very different set of beliefs, it’s coming from somewhere. There are generations of trauma, there are unhealed parts of them, so just coming from a place of empathy and not judging has been very helpful.” (17:24-17:40)

• “At one point, when I made this shift, I was very depressed because I just felt like I wasn’t connecting with him, he was always scared of me, he was flinching when I came around and he was like years old. And I was like, ‘Is this what I want for my son?’” (20:21-20:34)

• “When you’re a working mom, it’s so hard to make time for yourself, right?....You’re feeling guilty like you’re not doing enough for your job, you’re not doing enough for your kids, and I think it’s just so important to prioritize self care.”  (28:43-28:55)

• “The struggle can be so real, but so is the progress. And practice makes progress.” (35:42-35:47)

Links

www.maartemami.com

https://www.instagram.com/maarte_mami/

Podcast production and show notes provided by FIRESIDE Marketing