This time on the Couch: It's almost Valentine's Day and Mike and James are celebrating it the same way they learned about love in the first place: By reading the insane power fantasies of a low-brow media aimed at maladjusted little boys. In Green Lantern Corps no. 206, 14-year-old space cop Arisia uses her godlike power ring to instantaneously mature herself into an adult so she can get some action from legendary space dawg Hal Jordan. It sets off a load of touchy questions about love, but luckily two guys in their 30s with the emotional maturity necessary to host a comic book podcast are here to draw moral lines for you. Meanwhile, Kilowog backhands a reporter for doing her job while a cartoon squirrel cheers him on, and the Black Hand unleashes some 9/11-level mayhem, which everyone kinda forgets about once they realize their leader is banging a teenager. Happy Valentine's Day!!