Or: (Ooh! Ahh!) I Wanna Kno-o-ow If You'll Be My GAL; Or: I Bet You Want The Gudis / Got You All Hot & Bothered

Ahoy-hoy, Blue Balls Nation, and welcome to the REAL start of Season Seven -- that loss in DC was just extended preseason and every true soccer fan knows the season only starts when you win a match 5-0 against a hobbled recent expansion team on only set piece goals!!

Trey & Jake break down those five goals, admirably named one through five off the cuff, plus more in-depth analysis of opportunities in wing play, stacking Maxi up front, and the first clean sheet of the season for GK and captain of our hearts Sean Johnson.

THEN: A little discussion of Chris Campbell's bureaucratic bombshell report on stadium movement, and Trey's dissection of Brazilian sport outlets as we try to ascertain just what - if anything - is going to happen to Taty Castellanos! And finally, a sweet little precap of Saturday's match against Philly. The doctor's office is understaffed, so just stay home and drink lots of fluids -- you've got Blue Balls.