Sabbatical or Suicide

On the heels of a high and slightly altered state in Amsterdam, Kathleen sets off to Paris where she is taken aback by her experiences there. She also talks with Andrea, who too, struggled with the question of Sabbatical or Suicide, only Andrea’s choice, was suicide. Since she was going to die anyway, Andrea figured she might as well do something she had always wanted to do before her exit so she books a one-way ticket to Paris. Please support the show for free, go to the iTunes store, search for "Sabbatical or Suicide" and give the show 5 stars AND, never miss an episode by clicking subscribe!

In this episode, I reflect on my marriage, I discuss what it’s like stepping into the new age world of online dating and I share intimate details of my time with Leanne. Amsterdam was quite a first experience to launch this sabbatical, but I was clearly in a bit of an altered state while I was there (for a variety of reasons!). I could not decide where to go next, but I knew it was time to move on, so I decided to leave it up to the universe and flip a coin to determine my next destination. I also introduce a new element to this show, which is your stories. If you'd like to share your message, please go to sabbaticalorsuicide.com and send me a message. I would love to hear from you.

Amsterdam, oh Amsterdam. In this episode, I arrive in Amsterdam and like a bolt of lightning, I am struck with a visceral awakening to the new possibility of life and light beyond depression. I meet a wonderful, beautiful, compassionate woman who understands exactly where I am, relative to my divorce, and... I take you with me on our first "date" as we sip wine on the Lilly Canal at sunset. It may seem like a rapid and sudden shift from wanting to drown in Lake Michigan in Episode 2, to laughing and flirting on the canals of Amsterdam, and that's because it very much was! For the last six years, I was home with my 3 children (now 8 and 5 year-old twins) and as any parent knows, that means very little time to do much of anything outside of the children, much less spend an entire day alone without interruption. Here, I land in Amsterdam and suddenly find myself alone in the world,...with nowhere to be, no one to take care of and zero chance of being interrupted. It was like transporting into a parallel universe and it was exactly what the doctor ordered.

I had only officially booked this sabbatical a couple of weeks before I arrived in Chicago, so when I got there, I was still very much reeling from the separation with my wife a couple of months before. In desperately looking for anything to stop the pain and confusion of the mental space and life place I was in at that point, I went on a sailing adventure with one of my friends. I had no clue what I was getting into there and ended up with some notable bruises and a soothing, albeit temporary, distraction from the bigger picture of what was unfolding. In this episode, I share that experience as I brace for take-off into the great unknown and do my first life recording at Chicago O'hare airport.

In this episode, I share a critical piece of who I am, without which, I'm not sure I would have had the courage to make this show. I also discuss the tragic awakening that lead me to the very edge of this earthly existence, where I found myself asking the question, "Sabbatical or Suicide?"

Welcome to Sabbatical or Suicide. After years of a silent struggle with suicidal thoughts and depression, as well as many months of production and personal reflection, I’m finally ready to launch this show. In this introduction episode of, “Sabbatical or Suicide,” I break my silence and say hello to all of you (HELLO!). Here, I explain how the show came to be and why I am doing it.