There comes a moment, amid the depths of suffering, when something within me begins to soften. The resistance that once gripped so tightly starts to release….not because the suffering has disappeared, but because I begin to remember something far deeper than the travail itself.

For years, I have witnessed this rhythm within myself. When trauma resurfaces, when suffering stirs again, a wave of overwhelm often arises. Yet, in time…a quiet shift takes place. I cease to fight it. I begin to lean not into the suffering itself, but into the space around it. A space that has always been there: a sacred realm of love, of peace, of light that exists beyond the darkness.

This process has unfolded as a form of sacred art….the art of surrender. It is not a passive giving up, but a conscious releasing. A deliberate choice to trust the deeper current, even when the surface feels storm-tossed.

And what happens next often feels like grace. As I surrender, I begin to receive….insights, clarity, healing….flowing like light through the cracks. It is as though, in softening to what is, I open the door to what has always been: the alchemy of transcendence, and a love beyond measure.

In these moments, I see that suffering is not simply travail….it is forgetting. And healing is the process of remembering. Remembering that truth has never left. That the soul was always whole. That, as Ram Dass so beautifully said, “It’s less than a blink of an eye away at any given moment.”

Sometimes, when the suffering, the remembrance of trauma is overwhelming, that other realm seems impossibly distant….like it is buried beneath countless lifetimes. Yet over time, I have learned to recognize its nearness more swiftly. Even when trauma returns, even when PTSD flares, there is always a thread I can follow back…a sacred muscle memory of presence in my heart.

And these days, it seems I return to truth more quickly. I surrender more willingly. I trust the path through the fire because I know where it leads: Back to the Light. Back to Love.

Nigel Lott teaandzen.org

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