Britain promised kids would be safe online. Instead, Instagram “teen accounts” are still full of self-harm content, while Keir Starmer pushes a shiny new digital ID — the so-called “BritCard.” Stewart and Lisa dig into why protections for kids don’t work, how governments keep selling surveillance as safety, and why Canada’s patchwork approach might actually be a blessing. Plus: Politics & the Pen, stolen water glasses, and a very blush-worthy Sean Fraser story