Feeling [insert relevant emotion] about [insert crisis]? Worried you can't [insert triumphant verb] through the [insert time period]? Then maybe you [insert require synonym] this episode of the Saladcast to [insert something] your [insert unrelated noun].

We've got BallisticNG to lift you up, Vermintide to get rid of rats, Splatoon to cover up your mistakes and a quantity of Metal we manufactured in a Factorio we totally didn't just find in hell. We'll find a use for that.

[catchy phrase]