A gay man was hooking up at a bathhouse. His brand new lover wanted to bring a little romance into the encounter by saying the caller's name and complimenting him. The caller was horrified. Isn't bathhouse sex supposed to be anonymous? Meanwhile, in another corner of our universe, a woman is appalled that her boyfriend closes his eyes when they're having sex. How can she get him to gaze deeply into her soul while pounding her real good? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with stand-up comedian, and podcaster Cameron Esposito about her new book: Save Yourself, and how queerness and the experience of being closeted impacts her comedy. Finally, a married man with a one year-old child bemoans the quality of the "service sex" he's getting these days. With he ever see the return of enthusiastic rutting? 206-302-2064   voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at  and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought toy by Tushy- the modern bidet attachment that washes your ass completely. Go to  and get 10% off your order with promo code SAVAGE. Stop wiping and start washing with TUSHY. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to .

Savage Love Episode 697

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

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Health & Fitness

When you throw a sweaty, sexy party, and most of the guests have left, except for your girlfriend and her ex, and this ex offers to suck your dick, saying his current girlfriend won't mind a bit, should you take his word for it? 
A woman has met a new guy and likes him a lot! And he likes her too! You know what else he likes? His sex doll. He spent $1000 on it. The caller is very squicked out and doesn't know if it's deal-breaker or not. 
On the Magnum, it's a love fest between Dan Savage and our guest- TV writer Stan Zimmerman. His work as a comedy writer is seen throughout many notable TV shows and sitcoms including The Golden Girls, Gilmore Girls, Roseanne, and The Brady Bunch movies. They talk about how Stan had to be closeted throughout his time writing for The Golden Girls (!!!), the special relationship many gay boys have with their mothers and grandmothers, and the gritty, gutty works of television. 
Finally, a straight man in his 70s has always had a fantasy of being weak and abused. This erotic desire ruined his marriage. Lately, it's morphed into him fantasizing about being a frail woman. Is this a common fantasy? How can he indulge it? 

Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064

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Savage Lovecast Episode 915

A woman's party fell apart when her good -looking friend flirted with all the men and then led them away to a club. Was this a competitive power move? What kind of friend is this? 
Expiration dates! You wouldn't drink old milk. Is it equally dangerous to use lube past its time?
On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Jenée Desmond-Harris from Slate's "Dear Prudence" column. They advise a woman whose boyfriend wants to see sex workers. (He likes 'em "young and firm.") And a jealous boyfriend can't handle his girlfriend's (rather reasonable) number of past lovers. As veterans in the sex-advice space Dan and Jenée have some strong words for this insecure man. 
A woman is about to get debilitating shoulder surgery. She is a submissive, without a primary partner. Who will take care of her when she is in her long recovery? And how can she do kink safely? 

Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064

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Savage Lovecast Episode 914

A woman has been enjoying an insertable vibrator that can be controlled by her partner. Whee! But she worries that if she wears it out in public, it constitutes a consent violation for the unwitting baristas who don't know why her eyes are crossing all of a sudden.
On both the Micro and the Magnum, our second "What Are You Doing" features MzKim Lee- a very successful financial dominatrix. Why does she do it? How does she do it? How much does she earn? (The answer to this last question, may shock you.) 
Are you ready for a trigonometry lesson? Writer Neil McNeil wrote a long piece about poly triads- their delights and pitfalls. If you are a couple considering bringing a third person into your relationship, or you want to join an existing couple, do have a listen. 
And, a woman learned that her gal pal's husband was sighted in the bathroom...of a gay bar! Should she rat him out? 

Q@Savage.Love           206-302-2064
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Savage Lovecast Episode 913

For this very special April 20th episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Republican apostate and charming podcaster Tim Miller, about the importance of voting blue (for you know who) this coming November. A second Trump presidency would just be too harsh of a toke. This is the first third of the interview. To hear the "sex " part of "Sex & Politics" in which they discuss some trouble involving a "pristine dick," subscribe to the Magnum version of the Lovecast, at Savage.Love.

Sex & Politics #29: Micro version

A woman moved into a new house and promptly slept with her roommate. It was great sex and the caller wants a repeat. He claims he wants more as well, but then never actually takes her up on it. One night she asked if he wanted to...you know...do it, and he chose to play video games for 14 hours instead. So. 
A veteran of the polyamorous lifestyle would like to push back on the idea that you can sleep with people and avoid catching feelings. It's just not a realistic rule, says this pragmatic lady. What do you think?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Alexandra Petri- humor columnist for the Washington Post. They talk about comedy writing in these dark times, and Alexandra helps answer a question about horny fantasy titles creeping into a woman's bookclub. 
A woman is enjoying a friends-with-benefits situation with a man in an open marriage. She's beginning to fall in love with him in fact. But he and his wife are trying to get pregnant, and he has made it clear that the instant they see that pink line, he must switch to friends-only as he focuses on fatherhood. How can the caller protect her heart when she knows this relationship has an expiration date? 

How indeed? 
Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

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Savage Love Episode 697

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