A straight man in his 40s can only come if his lady is so, so, very wet. Is this a kink? Also, as he and his partners are aging, the likelihood of his finding a woman who can accommodate him diminishes. What can he do to ensure middle aged orgasms for all?
A man’s husband has a lush, silky beard. Other men just need to touch it! The caller hates this, and wishes they would leave his husband’s pretty chin alone. How can he learn to politely rebuff their advances?
On the Magnum, a woman struggles with sex when her boyfriend initiates. Past trauma gets in the way of her enjoyment. Dan brings on Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, and former sex crimes prosecutor to talk about ways of breaking the bad associations between sex and fear. She also advocates for BDSM as a healing modality. 
Finally, a gay man just joined a new gym, and finds he’s got some exhibitionist tendencies. But he wants to make sure he’s being a good gym citizen. What is the etiquette amongst the sweaty brotherhood? 

Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

Savage Lovecast Episode 828

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

Society & Culture

Personal Journals

History

Philosophy

Places & Travel

Sexuality

Health

Relationships

Health & Fitness

For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back Diana Adams, lawyer and legal advocate for queer and poly communities. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit providing free legal representation for low-income LGBTQIA+ families, asylum seekers, and trans communities in NY, and national legislative advocacy for LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and non-nuclear families. Diana is co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Their popular TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ has been viewed worldwide.
Dan and Diana talk about the necessity to gain legal protections for poly folks, separate from the spiritual concept of matrimony. They answer a question from a man considering donating his sperm to an ex. And hear Dan try to score some free legal advice. 

This is a short taste for the Micro listeners. To hear the full interview, become one of Dan's Magnum subs at Savage.Love.

Find Diana @DianaAdamsEsq

Sex & Politics #30 Micro Version

Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn't want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn't want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair?
A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he's a catch, but the ladies aren't biting. Why? 
On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex. Her essay in the New York Times about the ubiquity of erotic choking among young people went viral, freaking parents out. She and Dan talk about the dangers (both physical and emotional) of choking and then move on to more pleasant subjects: Like the Madonna/whore complex! And wanting someone you cannot have. 
Lastly, a gay man has a wet & messy kink. Lube wrestling? Let's go! Pie in the face? Yes please! But even though his boyfriend is game, the caller still feels shame and has a hard time asking for the thing that turns him on the most. 


You know what turns us on? Your calls. Usually. 
Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 
This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.

Savage Lovecast Episode 916

When you throw a sweaty, sexy party, and most of the guests have left, except for your girlfriend and her ex, and this ex offers to suck your dick, saying his current girlfriend won't mind a bit, should you take his word for it? 
A woman has met a new guy and likes him a lot! And he likes her too! You know what else he likes? His sex doll. He spent $1000 on it. The caller is very squicked out and doesn't know if it's deal-breaker or not. 
On the Magnum, it's a love fest between Dan Savage and our guest- TV writer Stan Zimmerman. His work as a comedy writer is seen throughout many notable TV shows and sitcoms including The Golden Girls, Gilmore Girls, Roseanne, and The Brady Bunch movies. They talk about how Stan had to be closeted throughout his time writing for The Golden Girls (!!!), the special relationship many gay boys have with their mothers and grandmothers, and the gritty, gutty works of television. 
Finally, a straight man in his 70s has always had a fantasy of being weak and abused. This erotic desire ruined his marriage. Lately, it's morphed into him fantasizing about being a frail woman. Is this a common fantasy? How can he indulge it? 

Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.
This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.
Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

Savage Lovecast Episode 915

A woman's party fell apart when her good -looking friend flirted with all the men and then led them away to a club. Was this a competitive power move? What kind of friend is this? 
Expiration dates! You wouldn't drink old milk. Is it equally dangerous to use lube past its time?
On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Jenée Desmond-Harris from Slate's "Dear Prudence" column. They advise a woman whose boyfriend wants to see sex workers. (He likes 'em "young and firm.") And a jealous boyfriend can't handle his girlfriend's (rather reasonable) number of past lovers. As veterans in the sex-advice space Dan and Jenée have some strong words for this insecure man. 
A woman is about to get debilitating shoulder surgery. She is a submissive, without a primary partner. Who will take care of her when she is in her long recovery? And how can she do kink safely? 

Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
This episode is brought to you by Good Vibes. In celebration of Masturbation May’s upcoming anniversary with Good Vibes, get 20% off by going to goodvibes.com/savage and to use the promo code SAVAGE20 at checkout.

Savage Lovecast Episode 914

A woman has been enjoying an insertable vibrator that can be controlled by her partner. Whee! But she worries that if she wears it out in public, it constitutes a consent violation for the unwitting baristas who don't know why her eyes are crossing all of a sudden.
On both the Micro and the Magnum, our second "What Are You Doing" features MzKim Lee- a very successful financial dominatrix. Why does she do it? How does she do it? How much does she earn? (The answer to this last question, may shock you.) 
Are you ready for a trigonometry lesson? Writer Neil McNeil wrote a long piece about poly triads- their delights and pitfalls. If you are a couple considering bringing a third person into your relationship, or you want to join an existing couple, do have a listen. 
And, a woman learned that her gal pal's husband was sighted in the bathroom...of a gay bar! Should she rat him out? 

Q@Savage.Love           206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

Today’s episode is brought to you by Shameless Care- offering STI prevention medication online. For a year supply of DoxyPEP for just $109, head over to www.ShamelessCare.com/Savage.

Helix Sleep
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

Savage Lovecast Episode 828

Download our free app to listen on your phone