Ok, let’s say you don’t drink alcohol. But you do drink piss, right? If your lover drank a bunch of beer and then you drank his piss, did you just drink alcohol? 
A woman had an affair with a man she had been very close friends with. His wife found out, and it all blew up. He asked to cut off all contact while he fixed things with his wife. She just learned that he has cancer, and the caller wonders if she can reach out to him now. Heart-breaking!
On the Magnum, Dan enlists the help of sex and culture writer Magdalene Taylor to talk about why people are not having enough sex. Her piece in the New York Times paints a very grim picture indeed. Even in Berlin this is happening! Also, the son of a co-worker is spouting some incel ideology online. Should the caller say something to the mom? 
And, a woman keeps dating men who look alike! She just started dating a man who looks so much like her nasty ex, that she’s worried people will comment on it. It’s embarrassing, but is it a deal-breaker?
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064

From the intro:
Weegee’s photo: 
https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/263635

Tennessee Governor Bill Lee in drag: 
https://twitter.com/HilbillyLiberal/status/1629882528361328641?s=20


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This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

Savage Lovecast Episode 853

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

Society & Culture

Personal Journals

History

Philosophy

Places & Travel

Sexuality

Health

Relationships

Health & Fitness

For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back Diana Adams, lawyer and legal advocate for queer and poly communities. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit providing free legal representation for low-income LGBTQIA+ families, asylum seekers, and trans communities in NY, and national legislative advocacy for LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and non-nuclear families. Diana is co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Their popular TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ has been viewed worldwide.
Dan and Diana talk about the necessity to gain legal protections for poly folks, separate from the spiritual concept of matrimony. They answer a question from a man considering donating his sperm to an ex. And hear Dan try to score some free legal advice. 

This is a short taste for the Micro listeners. To hear the full interview, become one of Dan's Magnum subs at Savage.Love.

Find Diana @DianaAdamsEsq

Sex & Politics #30 Micro Version

Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn't want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn't want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair?
A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he's a catch, but the ladies aren't biting. Why? 
On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex. Her essay in the New York Times about the ubiquity of erotic choking among young people went viral, freaking parents out. She and Dan talk about the dangers (both physical and emotional) of choking and then move on to more pleasant subjects: Like the Madonna/whore complex! And wanting someone you cannot have. 
Lastly, a gay man has a wet & messy kink. Lube wrestling? Let's go! Pie in the face? Yes please! But even though his boyfriend is game, the caller still feels shame and has a hard time asking for the thing that turns him on the most. 


You know what turns us on? Your calls. Usually. 
Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 
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Savage Lovecast Episode 916

When you throw a sweaty, sexy party, and most of the guests have left, except for your girlfriend and her ex, and this ex offers to suck your dick, saying his current girlfriend won't mind a bit, should you take his word for it? 
A woman has met a new guy and likes him a lot! And he likes her too! You know what else he likes? His sex doll. He spent $1000 on it. The caller is very squicked out and doesn't know if it's deal-breaker or not. 
On the Magnum, it's a love fest between Dan Savage and our guest- TV writer Stan Zimmerman. His work as a comedy writer is seen throughout many notable TV shows and sitcoms including The Golden Girls, Gilmore Girls, Roseanne, and The Brady Bunch movies. They talk about how Stan had to be closeted throughout his time writing for The Golden Girls (!!!), the special relationship many gay boys have with their mothers and grandmothers, and the gritty, gutty works of television. 
Finally, a straight man in his 70s has always had a fantasy of being weak and abused. This erotic desire ruined his marriage. Lately, it's morphed into him fantasizing about being a frail woman. Is this a common fantasy? How can he indulge it? 

Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064

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Savage Lovecast Episode 915

A woman's party fell apart when her good -looking friend flirted with all the men and then led them away to a club. Was this a competitive power move? What kind of friend is this? 
Expiration dates! You wouldn't drink old milk. Is it equally dangerous to use lube past its time?
On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Jenée Desmond-Harris from Slate's "Dear Prudence" column. They advise a woman whose boyfriend wants to see sex workers. (He likes 'em "young and firm.") And a jealous boyfriend can't handle his girlfriend's (rather reasonable) number of past lovers. As veterans in the sex-advice space Dan and Jenée have some strong words for this insecure man. 
A woman is about to get debilitating shoulder surgery. She is a submissive, without a primary partner. Who will take care of her when she is in her long recovery? And how can she do kink safely? 

Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064

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Savage Lovecast Episode 914

A woman has been enjoying an insertable vibrator that can be controlled by her partner. Whee! But she worries that if she wears it out in public, it constitutes a consent violation for the unwitting baristas who don't know why her eyes are crossing all of a sudden.
On both the Micro and the Magnum, our second "What Are You Doing" features MzKim Lee- a very successful financial dominatrix. Why does she do it? How does she do it? How much does she earn? (The answer to this last question, may shock you.) 
Are you ready for a trigonometry lesson? Writer Neil McNeil wrote a long piece about poly triads- their delights and pitfalls. If you are a couple considering bringing a third person into your relationship, or you want to join an existing couple, do have a listen. 
And, a woman learned that her gal pal's husband was sighted in the bathroom...of a gay bar! Should she rat him out? 

Q@Savage.Love           206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

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Savage Lovecast Episode 853

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