Say It Skillfully®

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. In Episode 164, Frank Sciame, founder of Sciame Construction, shares his unique path to success in business and life. Growing up in East Brooklyn, Frank’s family was not well off financially, but he was blessed to be surrounded by loved ones who were positive influences and big supporters of him. He shares that, from a young age, he found an escape by building things and also gained respect for the working man because of his father. Frank talks about his unique education and path to success, including many ups and downs, learning along the way that when things don’t work out, it’s not necessarily bad and that no matter how bad it seems at the time, it’s happening for a reason... Life has a plan. Frank gives us an inside look at his business, Sciame Construction, and talks about how it’s “all about people”. At one time, three big projects crashed and burned, taking him from being on top of the world to humbled by the struggles of owning his own company; this served as a big reason why he made sure his kids faced their own share of adversity. He also shares how the time and priority management skills gained from construction helped him balance his work and family life. Frank talks about the most important things in trying to be a phenomenal leader and shares keys to success, including the most important point: LEAD BY EXAMPLE. He inspires us to know no boundaries and to commit to taking action so that all can be safe, seen and heard, and our true and best selves. P.S. Didn’t have time to touch on this today, but check out this WSJ article with a great story about what Frank created for his grandkids:

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. Episode 163 is the 32nd monthly feature of “Our Voices,” intended to accelerate social change that levels the playing field—helping everyone live to their full potential. The aim is for you to see a bit of yourself in these journeys, and embrace—we’re more similar than not. Molly is joined by Rorke Denver, who gives an inside look into what it has been like being a Navy SEAL Commander, family man, author, actor and keynote speaker. First, Rorke talks about his upbringing, sharing how thankful he is for his parents, how he found his footing in the world by playing sports—culminating in leading a 2-time national championship lacrosse team at Syracuse University. He knew from an early age that with discipline, focus, drive and a dream, he could do anything. Hear how Rorke was a keen and effective learner, even though classroom academics were not his strong suit. Rorke shares how the ideas of service and earning your spot at the table (from Winston Churchill’s autobiography) were driving forces in his decision to join the military; the challenge of an 80% attrition rate fueled his desire to be a SEAL. He talks about the toughness of SEAL training, and explains how keeping a “long range focus” and bringing those around him up were key factors in making it through the intense training. Rorke opens up about his time as a SEAL commander, shares what it was like leading hundreds of harsh missions with life or death consequences, praises the teammates he had along the way, and tells stories from those missions, including a close call that demonstrates how “making your practice perfect” led to lives being saved. Lastly, Rorke talks about his post-military life. He shares lessons learned and top takeaways from becoming a best-selling author, actor, keynote speaker and family man. Don’t miss Rorke’s advice for leaders, including the importance of having non-negotiables, and how the best of the best are “students of leadership.” Molly’s thought for the week (thanks Rorke): Reach for an inch.

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. Episode 162 features the 2nd episode of “Tough Talks From the Top”—helping listeners to learn from those who’ve served in senior-most executive positions and how they’ve been able to stay true to themselves, say what needed to be said AND thrive in big corporate settings. Jeannie Diefenderfer shares her experience working in senior executive ranks, actually leading the change needed for cultures where people can stay true to themselves, say what needs to be said AND thrive in big corporate settings. Jeannie talks about her upbringing, moving from Seoul to the states at age 13, without knowing any English. She gives us an inside look on where she thrived and where she struggled while adjusting to a new life. Don’t miss the story of how she dealt with kids who would bully her on the way home from school, standing up for herself (this would become a commonality throughout her life). Also, hear Jeannie talk about the process of going from no English knowledge to skipping a grade in school and even memorizing textbooks. Jeannie shares experiences from her professional journey, from her first internship to her 28-year career with Verizon Communications. Hear about how she overcame hate and doubt from those around her and thrived in her own way: developing a reputation for over-delivering every job and moving on to hold critical roles, including SVP of Global Engineering & Planning, SVP of Enterprise Customer Care, and Chief Procurement Officer. Don’t miss Jeannie’s top takeaways from her decorated career. She inspires us to know no boundaries and to commit to taking action so that all can be safe, seen and heard, and our true and best selves.

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. Episode 161 is the 31st monthly feature of “Our Voices,” intended to accelerate social change that levels the playing field—helping everyone live to their full potential. The aim is for you to see a bit of yourself in these journeys, and embrace—we’re more similar than not. Molly is joined by Lola Adedokun, who reflects on a life journey that’s been “so much fun!” Lola talks of her parents’ move from Nigeria to Wisconsin, and being raised with her two brothers in both the Midwest and South. Upfront that race relations had much to be desired, she contrasts overt KKK exclusion with “nice” racism, and shares what a blow it was to her to be called the N word to her face in school. Her parents never allowed racism as an excuse to not achieve their potential, and she’s open about how it was in adulthood that dealing with this issue was most difficult. Lola recalls her parents’ expectations for her and her brothers—you will go to an Ivy League college, and can pick any profession as long as it’s doctor, lawyer or engineer. You’ll chuckle at how she escaped pre-med. Also, Lola talks about various side hustles that helped pay her way through her Dartmouth studies. Committed to improving public health and health ??systems for those living at the world’s margins, Lola had an unexpected foray into philanthropy. The Doris Duke Charitable Foundation opened her eyes and opportunities to build powerful partnerships to reduce inequality, strengthen communities and promote evidence-based policy decision-making. Don’t miss the many epiphanies she shares from over a 15-year tenure at the foundation (and her Say It Skillfully challenge as she transitioned to her new role at The Aspen Institute). Lola recognizes pivotal role models who helped her find her voice and to comfortably be a Black woman with power. When it comes to building the bridges in an individualistic American society, Lola offers ways we can all be “part of the solution” to address uneven playing fields. Tune in as she inspires us to know no boundaries and to commit to taking action so that all can be safe, seen and heard, and our true and best selves. Molly’s thought for the week, courtesy of Lola: Everywhere you go, look at the human next to you and know they have a story. See them for who they are and create space for them.

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. In Episode 160, Dustin Plantholt shares his story of being faced with adversity and deciding to be tougher. Raised by a father who stole cars and was addicted to drugs, in a rotten timber house with brown tap water, Dustin opens up about how he processed his circumstances at the time, and what his upbringing means to him today. Don’t miss the story of when Dustin was brought along on a high speed chase, resulting in his father being sentenced to 16 years. Also, he shares how he was in and out of foster homes, and how he noticed some parents were only in it for the money. He also talks about his appreciation for his sister as a mentor, and shares her story of developing a heroin addiction and having to leave the family. Dustin shares how his mentality grew stronger over the years, deciding that he would be “tougher than life” and thrive in many ways despite his not so perfect upbringing. Hear about Dustin’s many entrepreneurial endeavors, including comic book writer, TV contributor, editor and film actor/producer. Also he talks about his dive into the world of crypto, and how he ended up as The Count of Monte Crypto. Dustin inspires us to know no boundaries and to commit to taking action so that all can be safe, seen and heard, and our true and best selves. My thought(s) for the week: The purpose of life is to find your gift, develop it and give it away. —Dustin Plantholt… The important thing is to never stop questioning. —Albert Einstein

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. In Episode 159, Molly talks with callers about how to “promote yourself” (when you’ve been taught that’s not what you do), implement unlimited PTO and give feedback that your boss receives well! Molly’s first caller, Jenny, struggles with overcoming a fear of “bragging” when she needs to promote her own work. We talk about overcoming norms from her Asian upbringing and how it’s far easier for her to coach others to do this than actually do it herself! (A top tip: record yourself and practice.) Next, Jim shares the launch of unlimited PTO at his company! He talks about the positive and not so positives of how it was communicated, and asks for how to ensure his team members actually take the time they need. While the initial roll-out had a few misses, senior management thoughtfully followed up to help the organization embrace this. Hear how Jim is successfully navigating this change with his leadership, team and himself (18:30)! Finally, Grace talks about a new boss and challenges in getting the feedback she offers (which her boss has requested) to land well. She shares that her communication is quite direct, aiming for clarity. Grace and Molly talk about starting first in creating positive space for her and her boss to connect, so that Grace’s positive intention to be helpful actually is felt. This then paves the way to discuss any feedback (36:45). Don’t miss these in the moment situations of professionals like yourself. Learn how to navigate work while being invaluable and true to yourself! Molly’s thought for the week:

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. In Episode 158, Molly’s first caller, Kody, sees more potential in a team member than they see in themself and wants to inspire them to go for more! They talk about ways, both more and less subtle, to ignite that spirit (and be ok, if it’s not meant to be). Then, Michelle shares the frustration of not being heard—an idea she puts forth gets no reaction; later someone says the exact same thing and gets a rave review. Even worse, this has happened with a senior leader seemingly taking others’ ideas. We talk about numerous ways to approach. A few of Michelle’s top takeaways: “assume positive intent” and sometimes “I gotta say something: must be willing to take a chance!” (9:25) Next, Claire raises a delicate situation with many “different realities.” Another colleague of color was deeply hurt by how her presentation was received by the Board. Other colleagues’ attempt to explain landed as defending the Board. Emotions ran even higher with feelings of white supremacy. Claire and Molly talk about how to support a hurt colleague, validate other colleagues and find a positive way forward (34:30). Finally, the past few years have been very challenging on people’s health. As a coach, Pooja has been asked by clients how best to raise the topic of mental health and convey safety for people to express difficulties (45:15). Don’t miss these heartfelt and engaging conversations—learn how to navigate work while being invaluable and true to yourself! Molly’s thought for the week: Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. In Episode 157, Phyllis Kurlander Costanza shares her story of making mistakes, dusting herself off, and learning to overcome anything. From a young age, Phyllis had a great sense of responsibility and independence. She talks about cleaning houses with her best friend at only five years old for a nickel, which helped spark her entrepreneurial goals. And, Phyllis tells the story of when she learned to have thick skin when handing out political flyers in “enemy territory”. Don’t miss stories from Phyllis’ work as an entrepreneur and around the world in private and nonprofit sectors, including recognizing in government “your currency is your influence”, the tough conversation when she had to fire somebody for the first time, and leaving a dream job in Albany working for the Governor. She shares insights into the different sector needs and how to create win-win collaboration, including how she managed to get one chance from UBS that led to growing their Optimus Foundation from $10 to $200 million. Phyllis also goes in depth about her battle with cancer. She shows gratitude for her family, and shares the ways they supported her during this long endeavor. Phyllis talks about her company, OutcomesX, and how she is helping Ukraine, where she previously spent time living, by supporting children and families in Ukraine and those that have fled. She is focused on improving mental health and learning outcomes of children. Phyllis inspires us to know no boundaries and to commit to taking action so that all can be safe, seen and heard, and our true and best selves. Molly’s thought for the week, from Nelson Mandela: “History will judge us by the difference we make in the everyday lives of our children.”

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. Episode 156 is the 30th monthly feature of “Our Voices,” intended to accelerate social change that levels the playing field—helping everyone live to their full potential. The aim is for you to see a bit of yourself in these journeys, and embrace—we’re more similar than not. Molly is joined by Mariana Sanz shares how values of liberty, freedom and hard work passed through the generations from descendants who fled the Spanish civil war. Mariana is thankful for how her parents influenced her as a child—entrenching good values, making her adverse to laziness, helping her to be self-confident, and always opening new roads for her. Hear all about her early years, including the meeting of her mentor, Rossana, who helped her every step of the way and ignited her love for communications. Then, Mariana talks about her early career years, aspiring to be communications director at the White House, eventually moving to work in PR. Hear about the tough times she faced while working as a public servant in Mexico... having to separate herself from corruption, feeling like she never fit in, eventually realizing she would never be happy as a public servant. Also, don’t miss the story of how—after falling behind on family expectations for having children—Mariana met her husband in a way that you might not expect. Mariana shares top takeaways that she’s learned over the years as an expert in communications, including the importance of being yourself and following your values, and what the most important part of being a good communicator is. Mariana not only leads the way in solving complex communications challenges, but also in nurturing a positive family life with her husband and two amazing sons. She inspires us to know no boundaries and to commit to taking action so that all can be safe, seen and heard, and our true and best selves. Molly’s thought for the week (thanks Mariana!): Be present. Be where you are.

Say It Skillfully® is a show that helps you to benefit from Molly Tschang’s expert guidance on the best possible ways to speak your mind at work in a positive and productive manner. In Episode 155, Dan Neiditch opens up about his remarkable rags to riches journey, one that will inspire you to consider the legacy you want to leave to future generations. Having grown up in the Bronx on food stamps and in affordable housing, Dan experienced first-hand the not so bright side of New York. He talks about how, from a young age, necessity was the drive for him to be his own advocate and see success as the only option. Hear about how he even made his first business deal at only 6 years old, helping secure food for his family by receiving leftover pizza from a local shop. Dan always wanted to work on Wall Street, and even gave it a shot after college. He tells the story of how, when he ended up on the wrong side of office politics, he saw Wall Street for what it was and decided to go a different direction, opening his own real estate company, River 2 River Realty. Hear about how being able to see the results of his hard work, learning the ins and outs of real-estate related industries, and making smart investments enabled him to build a company to manage over $1 billion in real estate. Today, Dan is president of R2R and The Atelier Condo, and supports numerous nonprofits and charitable organizations, helping people around the world from the disabled and sick, to those needing relief in disastrous times, to homeless people in his hometown. Don’t miss top takeaways from Dan’s journey, including how to find motivation and opportunity in harsh realities, always following your gut, and being driven by knowing anything you put your mind to can be accomplished. Dan inspires all to know no boundaries and to commit to taking action so that all can be safe, seen and heard, and our true and best selves. Molly’s thought for the week: Put your mind to it—you can accomplish anything.