Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share Say It Well: Giving Feedback in Your Marriage
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
Say It Well: Giving Feedback in Your Marriage
This episode is part of the series How to Communicate Like a Pro in Your Marriage.
In the last episode, episode 4, How to Empower Your Marriage Through Validation, I talked about intentional listening and the feedback of validation, so if you haven’t listened to that yet, we are building upon it today. You will find that episode at http://www.reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com or on your favorite app.
Today I will be talking about some simple skills for giving feedback that will foster more transparent communication that is respectful and productive.
The first skill is to ask any clarifying questions, so you are sure you are hearing what the other person is saying.
Sometimes I’m guilty of mishearing what someone says.
We have a lot of noise in our heads that can skew what we hear.
A clarifying question could be, Do I hear that you want to quit your job or find a way to enjoy your job more than you are now?
Asking these clarifying questions allows your feedback to be on target.
The second skill is always to ask permission to give feedback.
Why do you need to ask permission? Because believe it or not, not everyone wants your feedback. Sometimes, people just want to vent and feel validated.
Assuming because someone is sharing with you, you have the right to offer unsolicited feedback is making what you want to share more important than what is being shared.
Ever have the experience of venting to someone, and as soon as you finished, without an invitation, they went into what they would do and what you should do? Thanks, but no thanks.
Here are some options for questions you can ask before giving feedback:
· Would you like some feedback?
· Can I share my thoughts with you?
· Would you like to hear my thoughts on this?
If someone asks you what you think, you don’t have to ask permission to give feedback. You’ve been given the green light.
Don’t take it personally if your husband says no. I haven’t had that happen too many times, but it has happened. It’s okay for someone not to want feedback. I’ve been put off many times by people giving me feedback when I just wanted them to listen.
Giving unsolicited feedback is a violation of boundaries.
You can find the complete show notes to this episode at http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/5.
View all episodes
By Deanna BryantThis episode is part of the series How to Communicate Like a Pro in Your Marriage.
In the last episode, episode 4, How to Empower Your Marriage Through Validation, I talked about intentional listening and the feedback of validation, so if you haven’t listened to that yet, we are building upon it today. You will find that episode at http://www.reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com or on your favorite app.
Today I will be talking about some simple skills for giving feedback that will foster more transparent communication that is respectful and productive.
The first skill is to ask any clarifying questions, so you are sure you are hearing what the other person is saying.
Sometimes I’m guilty of mishearing what someone says.
We have a lot of noise in our heads that can skew what we hear.
A clarifying question could be, Do I hear that you want to quit your job or find a way to enjoy your job more than you are now?
Asking these clarifying questions allows your feedback to be on target.
The second skill is always to ask permission to give feedback.
Why do you need to ask permission? Because believe it or not, not everyone wants your feedback. Sometimes, people just want to vent and feel validated.
Assuming because someone is sharing with you, you have the right to offer unsolicited feedback is making what you want to share more important than what is being shared.
Ever have the experience of venting to someone, and as soon as you finished, without an invitation, they went into what they would do and what you should do? Thanks, but no thanks.
Here are some options for questions you can ask before giving feedback:
· Would you like some feedback?
· Can I share my thoughts with you?
· Would you like to hear my thoughts on this?
If someone asks you what you think, you don’t have to ask permission to give feedback. You’ve been given the green light.
Don’t take it personally if your husband says no. I haven’t had that happen too many times, but it has happened. It’s okay for someone not to want feedback. I’ve been put off many times by people giving me feedback when I just wanted them to listen.
Giving unsolicited feedback is a violation of boundaries.
You can find the complete show notes to this episode at http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/5.