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Saying Yes When You Really Want to Say No
Learn more about Dr. Rutstein’s Professional Program; visit drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
Want to leave a question? Call 866-357-5156
If you've ever typed out a text, deleted it, rewritten it, and deleted it again — just to avoid saying no — you already know what people pleasing feels like from the inside. But what's actually happening beneath that impulse? And why is it so hard to stop, even when you can see yourself doing it?
In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein — psychologist and nervous system expert — breaks down the real roots of people pleasing behavior, including its connection to shame, nervous system dysregulation, and the deep fear of losing relationships. This isn't about being too nice. It's about a nervous system that learned, early on, that keeping others happy was the price of staying safe.
Drawing on polyvagal theory, trauma-informed healing principles, and decades of clinical experience, Jeffrey and Steve explore how people pleasing shows up in everyday moments — at work, in friendships, in intimate relationships — and what the path toward emotional healing and authentic self-expression actually looks like.
Have a question for Jeffrey? Leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156.
If you can't reach that number, record a voice memo or email [email protected].
Learn more about Dr. Rutstein’s Professional Program; visit drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical or mental health concerns.
View all episodes
By Dr. Jeffrey RutsteinLearn more about Dr. Rutstein’s Professional Program; visit drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
Want to leave a question? Call 866-357-5156
If you've ever typed out a text, deleted it, rewritten it, and deleted it again — just to avoid saying no — you already know what people pleasing feels like from the inside. But what's actually happening beneath that impulse? And why is it so hard to stop, even when you can see yourself doing it?
In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein — psychologist and nervous system expert — breaks down the real roots of people pleasing behavior, including its connection to shame, nervous system dysregulation, and the deep fear of losing relationships. This isn't about being too nice. It's about a nervous system that learned, early on, that keeping others happy was the price of staying safe.
Drawing on polyvagal theory, trauma-informed healing principles, and decades of clinical experience, Jeffrey and Steve explore how people pleasing shows up in everyday moments — at work, in friendships, in intimate relationships — and what the path toward emotional healing and authentic self-expression actually looks like.
Have a question for Jeffrey? Leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156.
If you can't reach that number, record a voice memo or email [email protected].
Learn more about Dr. Rutstein’s Professional Program; visit drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical or mental health concerns.