The understandable reaction of families who lost a loved one are analyzed from a psychoanalytic perspective from the lens of Survivor Guilt. Drawing from his studies with families of Holocaust victims, Profesor Juni presents the dynamics of coping mechanisms, which usually results in attributing blame to others, to oneself, to God, or to the victim. Guilt is seen as intrinsically ties to such coping.

Rabbi Kivelevitz challenges this view, suggesting that mourning does not seem to entail guilt as a rule. The discussants then tackle the mutual hostility evident between families who have lost loved ones serving in the IDF and the Haredim or Arabs who do not serve. Juni sees much of the hostilities as engendered by guilt which is projected unto the “other,” explaining that the other is a necessary target which helps us adjust to tragedy and difficulties.

Kivelevitz then infers from this formulation that efforts to bridge the divide via rational discourse would then be doomed to failure. Juni then proceeds to apply his psycho-economic perspective of Survivor Guilt (based on Freidman’s Depletion Guilt and Baumeister’s Inequity Guilt theories) to make sense of the reactions of survivors toward families of victims. Based on an initial attitude of finite resources, people unknowingly maintain this attitude inappropriately toward random and unexplainable mishaps, unconsciously expecting that misfortunes are finite in number; this means that when others suffer tragedies, they will then be spared from misfortunes. In essence, this results in an unconscious perception of relief and gain from other’s tragedies. Inevitably, this elicits guilt, which then may lead to displacing the guilt and transforming it into strife and antipathy.

Kivelevitz capitalizes on this perspective to explain the strained dynamics which mourners often sense when some visitors arrive to Shiva to console them – especially when they visitors hardly know the mourners.

The episode ends noting that the divisions within our community are determined by insidious psychological dynamics which are not likely to disappear anytime soon........ 

Doctor Samuel Juni is one of the foremost research psychologists in the world today. He has published groundbreaking original research in seventy different peer reviewed journals, and is cited continuously with respect by colleagues and experts in the field who have built on his theories and observations. Samuel Juni studied in Yeshivas Chaim Berlin under Rav Yitzchack Hutner, and in Yeshiva University as a Talmid of Rav Joseph Dov Soloveitchick. Professor Juni is a prominent member of the Association of Orthodox Jewish Scientists, and has regularly presented addresses to captivated audiences. Associated with NYU since 1979, Juni has served as Director of MA and PhD programs, all the while heading teams engaged in important research. Professor Juni's scholarship on aberrant behavior across the cultural, ethnic, and religious spectrum is founded on psychometric methodology and based on a psycho-dynamic psychopathology perspective. He is arguably the preeminent expert in Differential Diagnostics, with each of his myriad studies entailing parallel efforts in theory construction and empirical data collection from normative and clinical populations. Professor Juni created and directed NYU's Graduate Program in Tel Aviv titled Cross-Cultural Group Dynamics in Stressful Environments. Based in Yerushalayim, he collaborates with Israeli academic and mental health specialists in the study of dissonant factors and tensions in the Arab-Israeli conflict and those within the Orthodox Jewish community, while exploring personality challenges of second-generation Holocaust survivors. Below is a partial list of the journals to which Professor Juni has contributed over 120 articles. Many are available on line Journal of Forensic Psychology Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment, and Trauma. International Review of Victimology The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease International Forum of Psychoanalysis Journal of Personality Assessment Journal of Abnormal Psychology Journal of Psychoanalytic Anthropology Psychophysiology Psychology and Human Development Journal of Sex Research Journal of Psychology and Judaism Contemporary Family Therapy American Journal on Addictions Journal of Criminal Psychology Mental Health, Religion & Culture As Rosh Beis Medrash, Rabbi Avraham Kivelevitz serves as Rav and Posek for the morning minyan at IDT. Hundreds of listeners around the globe look forward to his weekly Shiur in Tshuvos and Poskim. Rav Kivelevitz is a Maggid Shiur for Dirshu International in Talmud and Halacha as well as a Dayan with the Beth Din of America. Please leave us a review or email us at [email protected]