When I was faced with the thought of divorce, that was pretty scary. The only thing scarier than that was the thought that after the divorce I would be single. That was scary, especially being single over forty. That was terrifying. Turns out, psychologists have a scientific term for the fear of being single – Anuptaphobia.

I find that fear is closely related to several other fears for which I recently took the time to look up the medical names.

But, let’s start with that one.

Anuptaphobia

Anuptaphobia is the fear of being or staying single. Just like being asexual is being without a sexual nature, Anuptaphobia is the fear of being without a wedding – a-nuptial, so to speak.

Yes, this is an actual psychological term and yes, I think I had a mild case of it at the time of my divorce. And from my interactions with long-term singles and people in the process of divorcing, I would say that it’s pretty common. So, if you have a fear of remaining single the rest of your life, you’ve got lots of company.

If this is your fear, face it. Face it head-on. Maybe you will end up married. Maybe you won’t. Who knows what the future holds? Either way, you can thrive.

In fact, you need to thrive first. Fear makes you timid, insecure, and unsure of yourself. That is the exact opposite of the confidence that it takes to be attractive and desirable to the people around you.

Gamophobia

I have to mention Gamophobia here too. It’s a very common fear among singles. Gamophobia is the fear of marriage or commitment. I wrote a whole blog post centered around this fear. I’m not going to go in depth about it here. You can go back and read that post.

The interesting thing is that as afraid as some people are of being single, they choose to remain so because they’re afraid of making a lifetime commitment.

Autophobia

Next, I want to talk about Autophobia. No, that’s not a fear of driving, riding in, or being run over by an automobile, it’s a fear of being alone. It’s also called Monophobia or Isolophobia.

I have to confess, as much as a value my alone time, there were times as a single person when my fears got the best of me. I wondered what would happen if something bad happened to me while I was alone in my apartment. Who would know? I could go for days without help or, in a worst-case scenario, without anyone discovering my dead body.

So, if this is one of your fears, first of all, realize that you are not alone in your fear of being alone. It is not uncommon. 

Secondly, try to understand your fear. Is it like mine, a fear based more on the logistics of living alone? In that case, put systems in place that put your mind at ease.

Or, is it more of a fear of being alone with your thoughts? In that case, spend some time and effort reprogramming your thoughts. A good mental and spiritual diet of positive thoughts, prayer, and encouraging scriptures would be a good place to start.

If you are seriously afraid of being alone to the point where you constantly consciously avoid it, consider some professional help. Some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy could be just the thing to help you overcome that.

Atelophobia

Another fear many singles face is the fear of not being good enough.