Schein On

Evan comments on three “docket” stories: Tobey Maguire officiating his ex-wife’s wedding soon after divorce, the Oregon Supreme Court keeping Damian Lillard’s divorce records sealed and why confidentiality is easier outside litigation, and a UK case where hiding a prenup can damage credibility and trigger sanctions. In “Overrated/Underrated,” they discuss fighting over valuables (overrated), consulting a lawyer without telling a spouse (underrated), in-person lawyer visits (mostly overrated), movie theaters (underrated), and fireplaces (underrated). The main interview features Harvard Business School professor and behavioral scientist Leslie John on her book “Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing,” arguing thoughtful self-disclosure builds trust, connection, leadership, and relationship health, with research on trust, brain reward, emotional suppression, parenting, social media, dating reciprocity, AI communication, and the value of sincere praise.

Get Leslie’s book: https://a.co/d/0b3Sw4T9

Topics

02:42 Docket Celebrity Wedding

07:00 Sealed Divorce Records

08:50 Hidden Prenup Fallout

11:37 Overrated Underrated Divorce

16:26 Overrated Underrated Life

23:23 Leslie John Origin Story

26:28 Trust and Disclosure Studies

32:55 Parenting and Emotions

35:09 Social Media and Authenticity

38:24 Regrets and Emotions Wheel

41:08 Emotional Literacy Basics

41:31 Oversharing as a Skill

42:06 Finding the TMI Line

45:11 Dating and Reciprocity Rules

46:51 Long Term Sharing Habits

49:32 Small Talk to Real Talk

51:09 Communication in Marriage

53:39 Be Yourself Bad Advice

54:29 AI as a Listener

59:02 Praise and Feedback Power

01:01:11 They Said It Rapid Fire

01:11:19 Wrap Up and Where to Find

Evan speaks with Dr. James Cordova, psychologist, couples researcher, and creator of the evidence-based Relationship Checkup, about practicing love through better communication and repair. They discuss modern marriage’s pressure to meet all needs without a “village,” why conflict is often mistakenly treated as winning instead of understanding, and how collaborating—both in marriage and in divorce—reduces harm, especially for children exposed to conflict. Cordova explains fighting better to fight less, the porcupine’s dilemma of inevitable emotional “quills,” and why forgiveness and apology require emotional skill beyond fight-or-flight instincts. He argues couples wait too long for therapy due to cultural stigma, limited training, cost, and access, and advocates preventive relationship healthcare via checkups before and during marriage. A simple daily intimacy practice is asking, “Tell me more,” to show attention and care.

Visit https://www.clarku.edu/faculty/profiles/james-cordova/

Topics

01:18 Tell Me More Mindset

02:47 Red Sox Apology Segment

05:06 Sports as Relationship Metaphor

07:26 Docket: Jelly Roll Divorce Stress

11:47 Overrated/Underrated 

20:48 Meet Dr. James Cordova

21:39 Modern Marriage Needs a Village

30:03 Fight Better Not Harder

31:41 Forgiveness and Porcupines

35:19 Forgiveness Takes Effort

36:17 Fight or Flight Instincts

37:35 Why He Wrote the Book

40:47 Why Couples Wait Too Long

45:08 Relationship Checkup Model

48:44 Start Before Marriage

50:48 Hard Talks and Compatibility

57:58 Daily Intimacy Practice

59:42 Attention Versus Distraction

01:02:09 They Said It 

01:08:24 Boundaries and Phone Privacy

01:10:59 Wrap Up and Where to Find Him

Evan interviews therapist and author Oona Metz about her book, ‘Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women’, focusing on divorce grief, stigma and shame (including for initiators), isolation, and the value of support groups and community. They question whether “until death do us part” sets unrealistic expectations, discuss equitable partnership and hard premarital conversations, and explore when post-divorce survival becomes transformation through letting go and emotional processing alongside the legal and financial process.

Oona’s book: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Unhitched/Oona-Metz/9781668075388

Topics

00:19 Podcast Intro and Season Kickoff

01:01 July 4 Reflections and Knicks Hype

04:31 Fireworks Talk and Guest Tease

05:47 Fourth of July Playlist Draft

07:03 Music Memories Through Divorce

12:01 Summer Routines and Co-Parenting

14:35 Overrated Underrated Begins

15:03 Custody Flexibility and Real Life

16:50 Dating During Divorce Debate

18:21 Fun Picks Zoos and Delivery Apps

22:45 Fireworks Verdict and Wrap

24:04 Interview Starts Oona Metz

24:30 Grief for the Divorce Initiator

26:08 Redefining Marriage and Vows

31:26 Designing a Modern Marriage Contract

32:53 Hard Conversations Before Marriage

33:39 Stress Tests Before Marriage

36:12 Expectations and Relationship Myths

39:37 Why She Wrote Unhitched

42:20 Writing Lessons and Shame

45:24 Deciding Whether to Divorce

47:50 Isolation and Finding Community

55:50 From Surviving to Transformed

01:02:53 They Said It Quote Game

01:11:55 Final Wrap and Where to Buy

Evan opens episode 102 by discussing co-parenting logistics around summer camp during divorce, then introduces the episode’s focus on sleep and relationships with guest Dr. Wendy Troxel, a sleep scientist and clinical psychologist. On the docket, Evan argues most “blindside divorces” reflect long-standing issues, and he frames “pickleball divorce” as a relationship problem, not a sport problem. In overrated/underrated, Evan calls expert witnesses and early prenup discussions underrated, and labels the Stanley Cup and Costco parking lots overrated. Troxel explains sleep is a social behavior, addresses stigma around sleeping separately, outlines the bidirectional cycle between sleep loss and relationship conflict, and recommends communication strategies and a nightly phone-free ritual (high-low-compliment). She notes divorce can disrupt sleep architecture, prioritizing sleep regularity and support, and criticizes the term “sleep divorce,” citing data that 31% of couples sleep apart occasionally.

Topics

00:49 Summer Camp Co-Parenting

03:46 Sleep Episode Setup

04:55 Docket Blindside Divorce

07:17 Docket Pickleball Drama

10:43 Overrated Underrated Begins

10:59 Expert Witnesses Matter

12:51 Prenups Early Talk

14:19 Sports And Costco Rants

18:49 Sponsor Break

20:40 Interview Dr Wendy Troxel

23:12 Social Sleep And Stigma

25:24 Sleep and Relationship Health

26:22 Sleep Communication Loop

28:34 Therapy and Sleeping Apart

31:23 Stigma and Sleep History

34:33 Dating and Chronotypes

37:28 How to Talk About Sleep

39:03 Divorce and Sleep Recovery

42:11 Sleep Divorce Explained

44:58 Gender Differences in Sleep

47:49 Kids and Family Sleep Habits

49:54 Nightly Ritual for Connection

52:28 They Said It Quotes Game

58:18 Infant Sleep Side Topic

01:00:10 Final Wrap and Thanks

Guest Dr. Rachel Glik returns to examine family estrangement, social media’s influence, misconceptions parents have, trauma language, reconciliation steps, when reconciliation may be unsafe, grieving “living loss,” healing despite no contact, pain-to-growth reframing, and forgiveness, reacting to quotes from Anne Lamott, Mark Twain, and Leo Tolstoy.

Topics

03:51 Whats on the Docket

04:13 Gray Divorce Reframed

06:34 Co Parenting After Divorce

09:44 Kids See It Coming

11:39 Overrated Underrated

15:17 Mini Golf Red Flags

17:03 Sponsor Break

18:59 Dr Rachel Glick Returns

19:38 Estrangement Trend Explained

21:26 Social Media Therapy Speak

22:06 Parents Blind Spots

23:31 Trauma Labels And Tolerance

24:58 Reconciliation Done Right

26:38 When Reconnection Is Unsafe

28:05 Grieving A Living Loss

30:07 Healing Without Contact

31:49 Pain Into Growth Steps

35:26 Apologies And Forgiveness

37:57 Boundaries With Compassion

39:46 They Said It Quotes Game

48:12 Closing And Final Thoughts

Evan and Producer Dave celebrate episode 100 of the Schein On podcast, reflecting on the show’s focus on human stories behind divorce and relationships and previewing guest Allison O’Brien. On the docket, they discuss Carl Pavano’s public prenup fight and how divorce litigation can become humiliating and permanent, especially for children. Allison O’Brien, a communication and leadership development consultant, explains damaging myths about communication, including assumptions about listening and body language, and stresses preparing to listen, using inquiry, and asking strong open-ended questions. She connects listening to leadership trust and workplace wellbeing, shares her TED Talk experience about growing up in a high-conflict divorce and later navigating an amicable divorce and friendship with her ex for her children’s sake, argues divorce isn’t necessarily failure, and warns that blame and ego fuel conflict while collaboration can improve outcomes.

More on Allison: https://www.lq-listeningintelligence.com/

Topics

00:44 Episode 100 Milestone

01:17 Why This Podcast Exists

04:07 Meet Allison OBrien

04:57 Docket Pavano Prenup Drama

06:19 Divorce Gets Personal Public

09:34 Overrated Underrated Begins

10:03 Winning The Divorce Myth

13:22 Reconciliation After Separation

14:43 Food Trucks Take

16:35 Road Trips Relationship Test

23:01 Allison On Listening Myths

25:51 Intent Versus Impact

28:06 Preparing To Listen

32:34 Listening As Leadership

36:05 Workplace Connection Research

39:10 From Work To Divorce

39:22 Her TED Talk Vulnerability

40:00 Fear Before the Talk

41:15 Pride in Amicable Divorce

42:38 Why Divorce Choices Matter

44:36 Breaking the Conflict Cycle

52:41 Childhood Scars and Shame

56:21 Redefining Divorce Success

01:00:39 Blame and Emotional Inertia

01:03:30 Ego Free Co Parenting

01:06:56 Divorce as Leadership

01:09:49 Quotes on Listening Clarity

01:15:57 Knowing People Better

01:20:12 Wrap Up and Thanks

The guest is Robi Schlaff, former director of the Westchester County Office for Women and executive director of the Westchester Family Justice Center, who explains building coordinated domestic violence and child abuse initiatives, including a Domestic Violence High Risk Team and multidisciplinary investigations, and the challenges of implementing policy across agencies and police. She critiques family court delays and discontinuous hearings, addresses misconceptions about domestic violence risk and offender presentation, discusses burnout boundaries, shares a survivor’s courageous public testimony, and advises friends and neighbors not to urge leaving but to connect victims with experts or call police if in immediate danger.

Topics

02:32 The Docket Dear Annie

03:39 Supporting Friends After Divorce

08:40 What Not To Say

11:40 Overrated Staying For Kids

14:02 Prenup Infidelity Clauses

15:50 Reputation In Divorce

16:50 Mocktails And Divorce

18:17 Inventing A Show Mocktail

19:39 Margarita Banter

20:05 Museum Gift Shop Debate

24:27 Meet Robi Schlaff 

25:06 Making Change in Government

26:09 What Makes Policy Work

28:37 Family Court Fixes

32:49 Misconceptions in DV Cases

36:06 Public Risks and Outreach

38:39 Burnout and Boundaries

43:41 Leadership Secret Sauce

45:20 Survivor Courage Story

47:11 What Neighbors Should Do

48:27 Episode Wrap and Thanks

Evan interviews award-winning director Elizabeth Lo about her documentary Mistress Dispeller, following Teacher Wang’s work with a wife, husband, and mistress in China, and explores empathy, cultural “saving face,” legal/ethical challenges, filmmaking style, and the documentary marketplace.

Topics

00:46 Season Intro and Guest Tease

01:17 Producer Banter and Setup

02:40 On the Docket: Shaq Divorce

04:14 Kids and Divorce Reflections

07:46 Parenting After Separation

10:22 Overrated/Underrated Begins

10:50 Legal Takes Business and CPAs

13:56 Co Parenting Communication Rules

15:54 Fun Picks Cornhole and Photobooths

20:38 Introducing Elizabeth Lo

21:29 Mistress Dispeller Origin Story

22:31 Teacher Wang Philosophy on Pain

23:59 Cheating Husbands Beyond Villains

26:01 Wives Culture and Saving Face

27:36 Directing Without Taking Sides

30:00 Editing With Restraint

30:20 Could It Work In The West

31:56 Legal And Ethical Minefields

34:01 Reconsent And Participant Protection

35:27 Mistress Beyond Villainy

36:43 What Mistress Dispelling Reveals

38:14 Participant Reactions And Trust

40:23 Filmmaking Style And Craft

42:15 Motivation And Doc Market Shift

44:19 Monogamy Love And Reflection

47:20 Future Love Stories

49:04 They Said It Quotes Segment

56:28 Documentary As Poetry

01:01:00 Wrap Up And Farewell

Evan delves into the complex world of divorce and relationships, spotlighting how financial dynamics impact these processes. The episode features an insightful discussion with journalist and author Josie Cox, who talks about her article on the rise in divorce rates when women out-earn men and her new book, 'Women Money Power: The Rise and Fall of Economic Equality.' The conversation covers the psychological and financial aspects of divorce, societal expectations, and the gender pay gap. Additionally, the episode presents the popular segment 'Overrated Underrated' and explores recent headlines in the world of divorce and family law.

Topics

00:38 Season Six Kickoff and Reflections

03:54 Explosive Divorce Headlines

10:13 Overrated or Underrated: Divorce Edition

19:41 Interview with Journalist Josie Cox

28:38 Generational Shifts in Financial Dynamics

29:25 The Surprising Conservatism of Younger Generations

32:10 The Evolving Perception of Prenuptial Agreements

35:27 Financial Literacy and Gender Inclusion

39:42 The Gender Pay Gap: A Deep Dive

46:21 Addressing Gender Inequality in Professional Sports

52:00 Closing Thoughts and Future Directions

53:01 Fun Segment: They Said It

A rich conversation with Dr. Pepper Schwartz, an acclaimed sociologist, sexologist, and bestselling author. Dr. Schwartz discusses the importance of communication and intimacy in relationships, debunks myths about sex and aging, and provides practical advice for individuals at different stages of life. The episode concludes with a segment called 'They Said It,' where Dr. Schwartz offers her perspectives on notable quotes related to love, sex, and relationships.

Topics

02:40 Reflecting on 2025 and Looking Ahead to 2026

04:47 The Power of Pause and Measuring Success

07:18 Reflecting on Past Episodes and Guests

11:21 Discussing Relationships and Marriage

16:06 Dating Post-Divorce and Intimacy

26:12 Financial Planning and Divorce

34:11 End of Year Reflections and Future Plans

38:49 The Physical Benefits of Climax

39:22 Sexuality After Age 50

42:00 Gray Divorce and Sexuality

43:53 Misinterpretations in Human Sexuality

47:56 AI Companions and Relationships

50:25 Reality TV and Marriage

54:12 Politics and Love

57:13 Advice for Different Ages

59:03 Communication in Relationships

01:02:09 Rituals to Keep Chemistry Alive

01:07:56 Famous Quotes on Love and Sex