YAKUZA PRINCESS MOVIE REVIEW

This is a Yakuza action film, with a magical soul-drinking sword, based on a Brazilian comic book. That caught our attention. I mean, what? One always hopes for exciting new discoveries when one encounters such unexpected collisions of cultures. But here we are. Masumi (who has a one word name and apparently is a singer with some degree of popularity) plays Akemi, a Japanese woman living in Brazil who doesn’t know much about her past or her family. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is a dude who wakes up beaten all to hell and has amnesia about everything, but he’s got this badass sword and apparently mad skillz. Eventually they collide and decide (?) to work together. It turns out she’s the heiress (is that a thing?) to the Yakuza throne for her clan which had been all but wiped out by another one when she was an infant. Now, they’re closing in on her and want her and the sword. But, as you would expect, she isn’t going to negotiate. She’s gonna cut some biatches. Unfortunately for Chris, Harmoni, Adrian, and Mindy, said cutting of biatches wasn’t enough to save this tired, clichéd, kinda boring film. Listen to their review here.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE/TRAILER

DIRECTED BY: Vicente Amorim

STARRING: Masumi, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Tsuyoshi Ihara, Eijiro Ozaki, Kenny Leu, Mariko Takai, Charles Paraventi, Toshiji Takeshima, Lucas Oranmian

 

YOUR REVIEWERS

 

Christopher Lawrence Cox (Founder, Da Boss)

Born in the wilds of northern Virginia, in 1992 Chris managed to put all of his survival skills to use and barely escaped with his life to Austin Texas, where ever since he’s dabbled in everything from plumber’s assistant to sandwich maker, from band to bar management. An opportunity to see theatrical release films for free by becoming a critic on a local public access show called “The Reel Deal” turned into a full-time job when Chris and his friends decided to take it to the internet. They built the site Spill.com, adding multiple podcasts and animated features, to no small amount of success. During this time, a fortuitous friendship sprung up between Chris and young Brian Salisbury, who was also a local film critic, and they merged their forces of will, and their laundry list of ideas for shows, to eventually build this paradise you see before you. Follow Chris on Twitter and Facebook and check out his Amazon Wish List.

 

 

Harmoni Anderson (Screener Squad, Highly Suspect Reviews, Unstabletop Gaming)

Harmoni is a mermaid-haired, millennial, rum drinking, Section 31, Slytherin (who’s divorced J.K. Rowling) preschool/nursery teacher and multi genre geek who also loves all things film, tv, fashion, makeup, and an embarrassingly huge BTS stan. Like really embarrassing. As in, mention them and then sit back and watch the insanity. Harmoni likes being able to game and talk movies/TV with people that aren’t 3 feet tall or all that demanding of her. Plus she can curse at us and not get fired….so bonus!

 

 

Adrian El Critico (Screener Squad)

Though born and raised in Chicago, this film critic is Mexican to the bone. Adrian has been watching movies since he was a child, many of which might not have been age appropriate. Still, he couldn’t get enough. All throughout his life, friends and family would look to him for his recommendations and reviews on whatever films had come their way. Inspired earlier in life by the likes of Ebert and Roper at The Movies and then later Spill.com,