Hey there, Promise-Ring wearers. This week, we delve into the dark world of lust, envy and betrayal on California Dreams. Mark, whom everyone knows is the heartthrob of this show, puts his mitts all over Jake’s girl, Lorena, and the entire Dreams enterprise is threatened. The gang immediately thinks it’s an amazing idea to tell Jake, whom everyone knows is emotionally mature and level-headed, and he quits the band! 

Meanwhile, Tiffany is still bottling up her rage, Sly kisses Sam for reasons, Jake hates his mother, and we get the worst possible guitar miming this show has had to offer (so far). Why can’t we just hang out and be in a band with Tony exclusively? Do teenagers play Monopoly and watch Nick at Nite? Is this high school cafeteria a drug front where gangs beat up children regularly? Is this episode referencing The Shining? We answer all these burning questions. See you at Sharkey’s!!

Next Episode: California Dreams - 3x8 “The Princess and the Yeti”

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