Champagne and Murder, Please

Seal the Deal & Hide Your Children


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This week, we’re diving headfirst into icy northern waters and then immediately making the mistake of wandering into a cave in the English countryside because apparently we learn nothing.

First, we’re talking about Selkies — the haunting seal-folk of Scottish and Irish folklore who slip out of their skins to become human on land. Beautiful, tragic, mysterious… and usually one missing sealskin away from a deeply questionable marriage arrangement. We’re unpacking the folklore, the heartbreak, the possessiveness, and why so many of these stories feel less like fairytales and more like warnings wrapped in sea salt.

Then we leave the shoreline behind and head into the dark woods of Leicestershire to meet Black Annis, the blue-faced hag said to live in a cave carved into the hillside with her own iron claws. She allegedly wore human skin, hunted children, terrified entire villages, and honestly sounds like the physical manifestation of “don’t stay out after dark.” But as always, the deeper we dig, the weirder it gets. Pagan remnants? Anti-woman propaganda? A distorted memory of older goddesses? We’re pulling apart the legend piece by bloody piece.

So pour yourself something bubbly, lock the windows, and maybe don’t trust anyone offering you a sealskin coat.

This episode contains folklore involving child death, violence, abduction themes, and general nightmare fuel.

Folklore Scotland – Selkie Folklore Overview

Orkneyjar – The Selkie Folk of Orkney

The University of Edinburgh – Northern Isles Folklore Archives

The Folklore Podcast – Selkie Traditions and Mythology

Smithsonian Magazine – The Enduring Mystery of Selkie Legends

Historic Environment Scotland – Folklore and Coastal Traditions

British Library – Scottish Oral Traditions and Folklore Collections

The Secret of Roan Inish Official Information

Song of the Sea Official Film Website

JSTOR Daily – Folklore, Identity, and Selkie Mythology

The School of Scottish Studies Archives

https://www.le.ac.uk/lahs/downloads/1969/1969%20(45)%201-20%20Hartley.pdf https://www.leicestershirevillages.com/dane-hills-black-annis.html https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/Black-Annis/ https://www.mysteriousbritain.co.uk/england/leicestershire/folklore/black-annis.html https://www.bl.uk/collection-items/black-annis https://www.folklore.ee/folklore/vol31/ennis.pdf

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Champagne and Murder, PleaseBy Brittany

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