WE'RE BAAAACK to clock this fugly timeline. Zohran Mamdani's upset win in the NYC Democratic Mayor Primary has everyone's undies in a twist, especially Blue MAGA. After flopping to get in Andrew Cuomo's dusty house, they're hoping that Eric Adams will save them with his nothing for views get ready with me's on Reelz. Piers Morgan hosted a Google Meet zircle jerg with a DNC dusty, skeletor Rudy Giuliani, Geraldo Rivera (?), and Cenk Uygur desperate for view. Palantir Founder Peter Thiel prolapsed on Ross Douthat's dusty New York Times podcast, going full technofasc and calling Greta Thunberg the antichrist. All of this plus some sus selfies from Manny MUA and Drake.